Should grandma go to birthday party or visit with newborn?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also for you newborn first only a terrible grandmother would skip that.

Why is she not terrible for failing to reschedule with the daughter and grandchild she chose to skip out on?

The original post didn’t get into any of that. It’s irrelevant. OP and her sister both sound exhausting so maybe poor grandma is just taking some alone time. I would not blame her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is VERY telling that you have said not one word of excitement or care about your new niece or nephew. That precious baby is not guilty of doing or saying anything to hurt or manipulate you.

That’s a good point. She is just focused on the attention being taken away from her child on her child’s birthday- which sounds objectively childish and self centered. I don’t doubt that her sister is an attention seeker, but in this objective situation (even though OP clearly
Couldn’t tell the story objectively, it was obvious from the first post which sister she was and which sister she disliked), it’s a no brainer that the grandma should
Visit the newborn in the hospital.

No
She can go the next day.

And she can also visit the toddler the next day. The toddler will love a second birthday “celebration”. The newborn won’t be in the hospital the next day.

Why does the visit have to be at the hospital?

Is this an earnest question? If it is- visiting the new mom and baby at the hospital is often a big event, sort of a rite of passage. It would be uncommon for a grandparent to skip it for a birthday party. So uncommon, that if someone heard “oh her mom was going to come.l visit her and baby in the hospital but she’d already made plans”, it would immediately be assumed the grandma was aloof and uncaring .

It's really not a rite of passage though.

Yes, is it. This is her mom we are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newborn. Not even close.

Okay.
Answer me this.
2 daughters.
Both give birth on the same day.
The daughters live at least 6 hours apart
Who does Grandma visit first?

NP. Whoever is ready for visitors first. If both, then whichever baby was born first.

So you're saying it actually doesn't matter if Grandma sees the baby at the hospital

What I think doesn't actually matter since I'm not the woman who gave birth. The only opinion that matters is that of the person who just birthed a human being into the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for you newborn first only a terrible grandmother would skip that.

Why is she not terrible for failing to reschedule with the daughter and grandchild she chose to skip out on?

The original post didn’t get into any of that. It’s irrelevant. OP and her sister both sound exhausting so maybe poor grandma is just taking some alone time. I would not blame her.

Unfortunately there is a third sister too that OP doesn’t like either!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is VERY telling that you have said not one word of excitement or care about your new niece or nephew. That precious baby is not guilty of doing or saying anything to hurt or manipulate you.

That’s a good point. She is just focused on the attention being taken away from her child on her child’s birthday- which sounds objectively childish and self centered. I don’t doubt that her sister is an attention seeker, but in this objective situation (even though OP clearly
Couldn’t tell the story objectively, it was obvious from the first post which sister she was and which sister she disliked), it’s a no brainer that the grandma should
Visit the newborn in the hospital.

No
She can go the next day.

And she can also visit the toddler the next day. The toddler will love a second birthday “celebration”. The newborn won’t be in the hospital the next day.

Why does the visit have to be at the hospital?

Is this an earnest question? If it is- visiting the new mom and baby at the hospital is often a big event, sort of a rite of passage. It would be uncommon for a grandparent to skip it for a birthday party. So uncommon, that if someone heard “oh her mom was going to come.l visit her and baby in the hospital but she’d already made plans”, it would immediately be assumed the grandma was aloof and uncaring .

It's really not a rite of passage though. And it would not be uncommon for a grandparent to come a day later in order to attend a gathering in honor of another grandkid she already committed to.

But if the new mom called her mom and asked her to come- after giving birth a month early!- it would in fact be unusual for the grandma to say no. For any reason. Neither daughter comes across as particularly pleasant IMO but the bottom line is, the birth of a new baby trumps a toddler birthday party under normal, non-dysfunctional circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is VERY telling that you have said not one word of excitement or care about your new niece or nephew. That precious baby is not guilty of doing or saying anything to hurt or manipulate you.

That’s a good point. She is just focused on the attention being taken away from her child on her child’s birthday- which sounds objectively childish and self centered. I don’t doubt that her sister is an attention seeker, but in this objective situation (even though OP clearly
Couldn’t tell the story objectively, it was obvious from the first post which sister she was and which sister she disliked), it’s a no brainer that the grandma should
Visit the newborn in the hospital.

No
She can go the next day.

And she can also visit the toddler the next day. The toddler will love a second birthday “celebration”. The newborn won’t be in the hospital the next day.

Why does the visit have to be at the hospital?

Is this an earnest question? If it is- visiting the new mom and baby at the hospital is often a big event, sort of a rite of passage. It would be uncommon for a grandparent to skip it for a birthday party. So uncommon, that if someone heard “oh her mom was going to come.l visit her and baby in the hospital but she’d already made plans”, it would immediately be assumed the grandma was aloof and uncaring .

I don't think it's being universally true and it wasn't just vague plans it was a planned birthday party visit for her other grandchild.

Baby born early trumps a birthday party that occurs every year, especially for a child so young OP doesn’t even know if he will lnow grandma isn’t there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is VERY telling that you have said not one word of excitement or care about your new niece or nephew. That precious baby is not guilty of doing or saying anything to hurt or manipulate you.

That’s a good point. She is just focused on the attention being taken away from her child on her child’s birthday- which sounds objectively childish and self centered. I don’t doubt that her sister is an attention seeker, but in this objective situation (even though OP clearly
Couldn’t tell the story objectively, it was obvious from the first post which sister she was and which sister she disliked), it’s a no brainer that the grandma should
Visit the newborn in the hospital.

No
She can go the next day.

And she can also visit the toddler the next day. The toddler will love a second birthday “celebration”. The newborn won’t be in the hospital the next day.

Why does the visit have to be at the hospital?

Is this an earnest question? If it is- visiting the new mom and baby at the hospital is often a big event, sort of a rite of passage. It would be uncommon for a grandparent to skip it for a birthday party. So uncommon, that if someone heard “oh her mom was going to come.l visit her and baby in the hospital but she’d already made plans”, it would immediately be assumed the grandma was aloof and uncaring .

It's really not a rite of passage though. And it would not be uncommon for a grandparent to come a day later in order to attend a gathering in honor of another grandkid she already committed to.

But if the new mom called her mom and asked her to come- after giving birth a month early!- it would in fact be unusual for the grandma to say no. For any reason. Neither daughter comes across as particularly pleasant IMO but the bottom line is, the birth of a new baby trumps a toddler birthday party under normal, non-dysfunctional circumstances.

Not true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for you newborn first only a terrible grandmother would skip that.

Why is she not terrible for failing to reschedule with the daughter and grandchild she chose to skip out on?

The original post didn’t get into any of that. It’s irrelevant. OP and her sister both sound exhausting so maybe poor grandma is just taking some alone time. I would not blame her.

Unfortunately there is a third sister too that OP doesn’t like either!

I must have missed that!! lol. OP is just so laid back though- disliking both of her sisters and holding a grudge against her mom who was clearly in a no win situation with both of her daughters complaining. The epitome of laid back!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is VERY telling that you have said not one word of excitement or care about your new niece or nephew. That precious baby is not guilty of doing or saying anything to hurt or manipulate you.

That’s a good point. She is just focused on the attention being taken away from her child on her child’s birthday- which sounds objectively childish and self centered. I don’t doubt that her sister is an attention seeker, but in this objective situation (even though OP clearly
Couldn’t tell the story objectively, it was obvious from the first post which sister she was and which sister she disliked), it’s a no brainer that the grandma should
Visit the newborn in the hospital.

No
She can go the next day.

And she can also visit the toddler the next day. The toddler will love a second birthday “celebration”. The newborn won’t be in the hospital the next day.

Why does the visit have to be at the hospital?

Is this an earnest question? If it is- visiting the new mom and baby at the hospital is often a big event, sort of a rite of passage. It would be uncommon for a grandparent to skip it for a birthday party. So uncommon, that if someone heard “oh her mom was going to come.l visit her and baby in the hospital but she’d already made plans”, it would immediately be assumed the grandma was aloof and uncaring .

I don't think it's being universally true and it wasn't just vague plans it was a planned birthday party visit for her other grandchild.

Baby born early trumps a birthday party that occurs every year, especially for a child so young OP doesn’t even know if he will lnow grandma isn’t there.

Baby and mom are healthy. 3 weeks is not early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is VERY telling that you have said not one word of excitement or care about your new niece or nephew. That precious baby is not guilty of doing or saying anything to hurt or manipulate you.

That’s a good point. She is just focused on the attention being taken away from her child on her child’s birthday- which sounds objectively childish and self centered. I don’t doubt that her sister is an attention seeker, but in this objective situation (even though OP clearly
Couldn’t tell the story objectively, it was obvious from the first post which sister she was and which sister she disliked), it’s a no brainer that the grandma should
Visit the newborn in the hospital.

No
She can go the next day.

And she can also visit the toddler the next day. The toddler will love a second birthday “celebration”. The newborn won’t be in the hospital the next day.

Why does the visit have to be at the hospital?

Is this an earnest question? If it is- visiting the new mom and baby at the hospital is often a big event, sort of a rite of passage. It would be uncommon for a grandparent to skip it for a birthday party. So uncommon, that if someone heard “oh her mom was going to come.l visit her and baby in the hospital but she’d already made plans”, it would immediately be assumed the grandma was aloof and uncaring .

I don't think it's being universally true and it wasn't just vague plans it was a planned birthday party visit for her other grandchild.

Baby born early trumps a birthday party that occurs every year, especially for a child so young OP doesn’t even know if he will lnow grandma isn’t there.

Baby and mom are healthy. 3 weeks is not early.

Now you’re just being a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newborn. Not even close.

Okay.
Answer me this.
2 daughters.
Both give birth on the same day.
The daughters live at least 6 hours apart
Who does Grandma visit first?

NP. Whoever is ready for visitors first. If both, then whichever baby was born first.

So you're saying it actually doesn't matter if Grandma sees the baby at the hospital

What I think doesn't actually matter since I'm not the woman who gave birth. The only opinion that matters is that of the person who just birthed a human being into the world.

So if you and your DH had an anniversary trip planned and his sister gave birth early and she wanted him to meet the baby the same day and time you're supposed to leave for the trip you'd be cool with him ditching your trip or coming later?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is VERY telling that you have said not one word of excitement or care about your new niece or nephew. That precious baby is not guilty of doing or saying anything to hurt or manipulate you.

That’s a good point. She is just focused on the attention being taken away from her child on her child’s birthday- which sounds objectively childish and self centered. I don’t doubt that her sister is an attention seeker, but in this objective situation (even though OP clearly
Couldn’t tell the story objectively, it was obvious from the first post which sister she was and which sister she disliked), it’s a no brainer that the grandma should
Visit the newborn in the hospital.

No
She can go the next day.

And she can also visit the toddler the next day. The toddler will love a second birthday “celebration”. The newborn won’t be in the hospital the next day.

Why does the visit have to be at the hospital?

Is this an earnest question? If it is- visiting the new mom and baby at the hospital is often a big event, sort of a rite of passage. It would be uncommon for a grandparent to skip it for a birthday party. So uncommon, that if someone heard “oh her mom was going to come.l visit her and baby in the hospital but she’d already made plans”, it would immediately be assumed the grandma was aloof and uncaring .

It's really not a rite of passage though. And it would not be uncommon for a grandparent to come a day later in order to attend a gathering in honor of another grandkid she already committed to.

But if the new mom called her mom and asked her to come- after giving birth a month early!- it would in fact be unusual for the grandma to say no. For any reason. Neither daughter comes across as particularly pleasant IMO but the bottom line is, the birth of a new baby trumps a toddler birthday party under normal, non-dysfunctional circumstances.

Not true

I am really surprised to see one or more people really thinking that if they were in the hospital, gave birth 3-4 weeks early, called their mom and said “please come visit us in the hospital tomorrow morning I just had the baby early!”…. that they’d be totally fine with their mom saying “oh well your sisters kid has his 3rd birthday celebration tomorrow and I did RSVP already so how about I skip the after birth visit and just see you once you get home the day after?” Because if that were me- in the hormonal , vulnerable state after having a baby- I’d have been crushed that my mother declined to come when I asked. Because of a toddler birthday party. On the other hand if I were the birthday mom and learned my sister had a baby, I would assume my mom (grandma) wouldn’t come to my party anymore and if she did, I’d be flabbergasted. It’s a toddler cake celebration! We can do another in a few days, which would thrill him anyways!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newborn. Not even close.

Okay.
Answer me this.
2 daughters.
Both give birth on the same day.
The daughters live at least 6 hours apart
Who does Grandma visit first?

NP. Whoever is ready for visitors first. If both, then whichever baby was born first.

So you're saying it actually doesn't matter if Grandma sees the baby at the hospital

What I think doesn't actually matter since I'm not the woman who gave birth. The only opinion that matters is that of the person who just birthed a human being into the world.

So if you and your DH had an anniversary trip planned and his sister gave birth early and she wanted him to meet the baby the same day and time you're supposed to leave for the trip you'd be cool with him ditching your trip or coming later?

What are you talking about? This is a completely different scenario. No one wants their brother to come visit them when they’re bleeding out their bag and trying to breastfeed. Start your own thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newborn. Not even close.

Okay.
Answer me this.
2 daughters.
Both give birth on the same day.
The daughters live at least 6 hours apart
Who does Grandma visit first?

NP. Whoever is ready for visitors first. If both, then whichever baby was born first.

So you're saying it actually doesn't matter if Grandma sees the baby at the hospital

What I think doesn't actually matter since I'm not the woman who gave birth. The only opinion that matters is that of the person who just birthed a human being into the world.

So if you and your DH had an anniversary trip planned and his sister gave birth early and she wanted him to meet the baby the same day and time you're supposed to leave for the trip you'd be cool with him ditching your trip or coming later?

What non refundable trip was OP taking for her three year olds birthday?

Your fake scenario would make more sense if you said dinner reservation or something. In which case yeah, reschedule for next weekend, no problem. Just as OP could do. You can’t reschedule being in the hospital with your baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is VERY telling that you have said not one word of excitement or care about your new niece or nephew. That precious baby is not guilty of doing or saying anything to hurt or manipulate you.

That’s a good point. She is just focused on the attention being taken away from her child on her child’s birthday- which sounds objectively childish and self centered. I don’t doubt that her sister is an attention seeker, but in this objective situation (even though OP clearly
Couldn’t tell the story objectively, it was obvious from the first post which sister she was and which sister she disliked), it’s a no brainer that the grandma should
Visit the newborn in the hospital.

No
She can go the next day.

And she can also visit the toddler the next day. The toddler will love a second birthday “celebration”. The newborn won’t be in the hospital the next day.

Why does the visit have to be at the hospital?

Is this an earnest question? If it is- visiting the new mom and baby at the hospital is often a big event, sort of a rite of passage. It would be uncommon for a grandparent to skip it for a birthday party. So uncommon, that if someone heard “oh her mom was going to come.l visit her and baby in the hospital but she’d already made plans”, it would immediately be assumed the grandma was aloof and uncaring .

I don't think it's being universally true and it wasn't just vague plans it was a planned birthday party visit for her other grandchild.

Baby born early trumps a birthday party that occurs every year, especially for a child so young OP doesn’t even know if he will lnow grandma isn’t there.

Baby and mom are healthy. 3 weeks is not early.

Now you’re just being a troll.

Again someone disagreeing with you and giving facts doesn't make them a troll. According to op the baby was 3 weeks early , 37 weeks is considered full term. Also according to the op mom and baby were healthy. People are acting like this was an emergency and it wasn't.