OP said iced out for a period of time. Sending pictures is standard, I agree. But decent people usually acknowledge, at the least, when they huffed off. |
Are you OP? |
Yet it sounds like if she had previously planned to have lunch with you — and prioritized that over something that came up with another family member, she’d prioritize her time with you. I like your mother’s values — which sound caring and considerate. |
+1 There isn’t a world where OPs comment on the photos seems reasonable. |
No, my mom would visit - just like OP’s mom visited the newborn. Because that’s the reasonable thing to do. |
Well- if you think that you and your situation are more important, then of course you'll be put out if plans aren't changed for you. Classic narcisism. I mean, clearly the daughter with the newborn knew that grandma would already have plans with the other grandkid on their birthday, and it doesn't sound like there's an immediate need for grandma's presence. She could literally go visit the next day rather than being forced to choose. |
Yeah I agree. And honestly I get where OP is coming from because I've always had to be the "agreeable" one to keep the peace and not aggrevate my volatile sister, and it gets old. |
+1 Totally normal, even if they were all not talking and upset with each other, to send out photos and a birth announcement. Doesn't big events like death, birth, Nobel Prizes, being hand selected at random to venture to the moon, etc justify a break from the squabble and recognition by all that this is a special time |
Imagine being OP |
Sister didn’t plan her early birth. Give me a break. Did you miss that it isn’t just one sister OP is estranged from? |
In fairness to OP, in families like this, it’s not usually the adult siblings who are at fault. The dysfunction started when they were kids. Grandma and Grandpa are likely at fault here. |
Eh, give me a break yourself- she can plan a visit for another day- literally the next day if she wants. The whole thing is set up as a false choice between two grandkids and it doesn't have to be. |
False choice between 2 kids. And yes I agree. |
Be honest. Is attending a standing lunch date with one child more important than attending your other child winning the Nobel Peace Prize? Because that's what you're arguing here, if you are following the thread you are responding to. |
Again- read upthread- you are saying that it is "caring and considerate" to "prioritize (a lunch date) over (a child winning the nobel peace prize)". If you can honestly say that you'd turn down attending the ceremony of your child being awarded the nobel peace prize to go to Chili's with your other child just because you had standing plans, you're being intentionally argumentative. |