1/4 of US Women may quit their jobs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a SAHM, these articles about women quitting all seem pretty obvious to me. Yes, a few of you managed to marry a fully “woke” equal partner who will do 50% or more of the “mental load” in addition to housework and child rearing, but I learned pretty quickly I did not marry such a man.

And I’ll be damned if I’m going to carry the whole mental load, run the house, care for the kids AND work a full time job. I’m not a martyr.

So don’t do the mental load and housework. Just say no.

Prioritize yourself and your career. You deserve it the same as a privileged man does. Again no one is forcing you to do housework. You basically allowed your husband to force you to quit working and when your kids are older you’ll deeply regret it.

Because of the flexibility of my job and inflexibility of his, there was no question of who would manage DL. But DH does way more housework to compensate. And we’re doing way more takeout. And I’ve let go of my initial perfectionism about managing DL. We’re both working much longer days, and are tired, but hanging in there. So there are ways a DH can make a fair contribution, and women do need to insist on not doing simply everything. But it’s hard regardless and everyone needs to figure out the best way to preserve their well being.

Many times the only way to get a man to do his share is to force it. Don’t buy groceries. Don’t order toilet paper. Don’t watch the kids. Don’t schedule things. It’s amazing what they can do when they have to. Keep in mind all of these men likely managed their own life before their secretary/cook/cleaner/nanny moved in.

And just let your children die from starvation and neglect?

[Anonymous]

I never thought I’d want to be a SAHM, but if we had a full year or 2 in savings I’d quit in a heartbeat at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While the schools remain closed in greater DMV area in the setting of pandemic-wide lows in testing and diagnosed cases, fully a QUARTER of American women are contemplating quitting their jobs, on every economic level. No one should be surprised that this challenge, like a myriad others, affects women of color harder than everyone else.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-09-30/leanin-org-finds-covid-19-could-push-women-out-of-workforce-and-senior-roles?sref=px9VEDa6&utm_source=url_link&fbclid=IwAR3r-BTlmgl2kkebaxZqAIQujm4yHcZr_hCGwby5Yg1BmNLahPquXDRgshc

We need to demand re-opening of the schools, prioritizing special needs students, early elementary grades, children of documented essential workers, and ESOL.

What is happening right now is not OK.

Whichever parent has the best medical insurance and makes the most money should continue working. If it isn't the man, then tough. He can learn to be a house husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand a single mom.

But no married woman should quit her job. I am married and will NOT be quitting. There is NO reason that woman should need to quit their jobs while men do not! Just say no, ladies. Is your husband going to quit his job to do housework and distance learning? Of course not. Women have to stop voluntarily sacrificing their careers and financial well-being when men do not.

+1000

[Anonymous]

I bet 100% of women (and people) CONTEMPLATE quitting their jobs at least sometimes. Even before COVID, a quarter of women with children probably thought about quitting their jobs on a regular basis. If you look at polls, half of women with children don't even want to be working full time in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that what's needed in a dual income household is for both to dial it back. For us a 30 hour week for both would be ideal. But it's not possible. We both work 45-50 hour weeks. Our jobs cannot be part time jobs. And so one person has to quit. DH loves his job more and I could get a job more easily when this is all over. We both could manage the kids and he is a full partner at home. This just isn't workable with school closed. We are somewhat unique in that our jobs are equal- most of my friends have husbands with a higher paying job. And in that case, it's obvious why the wife steps back. It just makes fiscal sense.

How about instead of blaming women, why not open the schools?!?! My youngest is in daycare and no cases of covid.

Opening the schools wouldn’t help everyone. Due to the pandemic, my firm has gone remote and may never have us come back. They’re thrilled that productivity is through the roof. Why? Because they now expect us to be available, all day, every day. After all... they know we’re home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a SAHM, these articles about women quitting all seem pretty obvious to me. Yes, a few of you managed to marry a fully “woke” equal partner who will do 50% or more of the “mental load” in addition to housework and child rearing, but I learned pretty quickly I did not marry such a man.

And I’ll be damned if I’m going to carry the whole mental load, run the house, care for the kids AND work a full time job. I’m not a martyr.

Of my 20 closest friends, all but one are married to men who do 50%. That one is a SAHM and the rest of us work. It's not just "a few" women who "managed" to marry "woke" men. You married a child, that was your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

Women need to stop doing stuff like this if we ever want to achieve equality.

Yeah, how dare you put the needs of your family above equality for women.

I know it’s not what you want to hear, but quitting your job to provide unpaid labor just isn’t a wise choice in the long run.

Well she was providing unpaid labor to her job by working so many hours, so why not at least use that time to help her family instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand a single mom.

But no married woman should quit her job. I am married and will NOT be quitting. There is NO reason that woman should need to quit their jobs while men do not! Just say no, ladies. Is your husband going to quit his job to do housework and distance learning? Of course not. Women have to stop voluntarily sacrificing their careers and financial well-being when men do not.

What? How can single moms quit their jobs? Who is going to pay the bills? I see where you were headed with this tangent but your offramp is bananas.

X1000. What, pp?! I’m a single mom and working as hard as I absolutely can to NOT lose my job. There’s no one to be my financial back up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand a single mom.

But no married woman should quit her job. I am married and will NOT be quitting. There is NO reason that woman should need to quit their jobs while men do not! Just say no, ladies. Is your husband going to quit his job to do housework and distance learning? Of course not. Women have to stop voluntarily sacrificing their careers and financial well-being when men do not.

Multi-decade / multi-generational project.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a SAHM, these articles about women quitting all seem pretty obvious to me. Yes, a few of you managed to marry a fully “woke” equal partner who will do 50% or more of the “mental load” in addition to housework and child rearing, but I learned pretty quickly I did not marry such a man.

And I’ll be damned if I’m going to carry the whole mental load, run the house, care for the kids AND work a full time job. I’m not a martyr.

So don’t do the mental load and housework. Just say no.

Prioritize yourself and your career. You deserve it the same as a privileged man does. Again no one is forcing you to do housework. You basically allowed your husband to force you to quit working and when your kids are older you’ll deeply regret it.

Because of the flexibility of my job and inflexibility of his, there was no question of who would manage DL. But DH does way more housework to compensate. And we’re doing way more takeout. And I’ve let go of my initial perfectionism about managing DL. We’re both working much longer days, and are tired, but hanging in there. So there are ways a DH can make a fair contribution, and women do need to insist on not doing simply everything. But it’s hard regardless and everyone needs to figure out the best way to preserve their well being.

Many times the only way to get a man to do his share is to force it. Don’t buy groceries. Don’t order toilet paper. Don’t watch the kids. Don’t schedule things. It’s amazing what they can do when they have to. Keep in mind all of these men likely managed their own life before their secretary/cook/cleaner/nanny moved in.

I don’t think you understand. My husbands threshold for when to do laundry is when the underwear is gone. But first he will just buy extra underwear to stretch the laundry intervals. Same with groceries. Yes, he wouldn’t let us starve, but the quality of food available is going to be dramatically lower until he finally shops. Plus, at this point I’ve been a SAHM for a long time, so if I suddenly just stopped, he would think something was wrong with me. I agree a working mom could attempt this, but my husband would (rightfully) view it as a breech of our agreement if I suddenly shirked all my duties.

Umm, you realize the PP wasn't talking to someone who has already decided to stay at home, right? This literally isn't about you.

[Anonymous]

I quit and I don't miss it.

[Anonymous]

I wish we would normalize re-entry after gaps for parents and budgeting for single income households. There’s never been enough acknowledgement of the work done in the home. I think ideally there would be parental switching- I.e.: 7 years mom primary/7 years dad primary, thereby less pressure on a single breadwinner/industry. But We need to acknowledge that one parent working half or no hours is much saner. the current dual income 12 hour a day hustle is crap for all involved (But especially moms.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet 100% of women (and people) CONTEMPLATE quitting their jobs at least sometimes. Even before COVID, a quarter of women with children probably thought about quitting their jobs on a regular basis. If you look at polls, half of women with children don't even want to be working full time in the first place.

I used to contemplate it all the time because my boss was horrible. Don't stay somewhere that sucks.

[Anonymous]

MAGA