1/4 of US Women may quit their jobs

[Anonymous]

I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

Women need to stop doing stuff like this if we ever want to achieve equality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a SAHM, these articles about women quitting all seem pretty obvious to me. Yes, a few of you managed to marry a fully “woke” equal partner who will do 50% or more of the “mental load” in addition to housework and child rearing, but I learned pretty quickly I did not marry such a man.

And I’ll be damned if I’m going to carry the whole mental load, run the house, care for the kids AND work a full time job. I’m not a martyr.

So don’t do the mental load and housework. Just say no.

Prioritize yourself and your career. You deserve it the same as a privileged man does. Again no one is forcing you to do housework. You basically allowed your husband to force you to quit working and when your kids are older you’ll deeply regret it.

Because of the flexibility of my job and inflexibility of his, there was no question of who would manage DL. But DH does way more housework to compensate. And we’re doing way more takeout. And I’ve let go of my initial perfectionism about managing DL. We’re both working much longer days, and are tired, but hanging in there. So there are ways a DH can make a fair contribution, and women do need to insist on not doing simply everything. But it’s hard regardless and everyone needs to figure out the best way to preserve their well being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

Women need to stop doing stuff like this if we ever want to achieve equality.

Women need to stop quitting terrible jobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

Women need to stop doing stuff like this if we ever want to achieve equality.

Yeah, how dare you put the needs of your family above equality for women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

Women need to stop doing stuff like this if we ever want to achieve equality.

Yeah, how dare you put the needs of your family above equality for women.

I know it’s not what you want to hear, but quitting your job to provide unpaid labor just isn’t a wise choice in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

Women need to stop doing stuff like this if we ever want to achieve equality.

Women need to stop quitting terrible jobs?

Women need to stop quitting their job to provide unpaid labor for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a SAHM, these articles about women quitting all seem pretty obvious to me. Yes, a few of you managed to marry a fully “woke” equal partner who will do 50% or more of the “mental load” in addition to housework and child rearing, but I learned pretty quickly I did not marry such a man.

And I’ll be damned if I’m going to carry the whole mental load, run the house, care for the kids AND work a full time job. I’m not a martyr.

So don’t do the mental load and housework. Just say no.

Prioritize yourself and your career. You deserve it the same as a privileged man does. Again no one is forcing you to do housework. You basically allowed your husband to force you to quit working and when your kids are older you’ll deeply regret it.

Because of the flexibility of my job and inflexibility of his, there was no question of who would manage DL. But DH does way more housework to compensate. And we’re doing way more takeout. And I’ve let go of my initial perfectionism about managing DL. We’re both working much longer days, and are tired, but hanging in there. So there are ways a DH can make a fair contribution, and women do need to insist on not doing simply everything. But it’s hard regardless and everyone needs to figure out the best way to preserve their well being.

Many times the only way to get a man to do his share is to force it. Don’t buy groceries. Don’t order toilet paper. Don’t watch the kids. Don’t schedule things. It’s amazing what they can do when they have to. Keep in mind all of these men likely managed their own life before their secretary/cook/cleaner/nanny moved in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

Women need to stop doing stuff like this if we ever want to achieve equality.

Women need to stop quitting terrible jobs?

Women need to stop quitting their job to provide unpaid labor for men.

I was already providing over 20 hours per week of unpaid labor per week (1040 unpaid hours per year!) to a thankless employer. Over the past several years I worked hard, saved a nice chunk of change, and can afford to take some time off. I am considering this a 1 year “retirement” and understand that I’ll have to work an extra year later in life to make up for it. Equality is having freedom to make hard decisions like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand a single mom.

But no married woman should quit her job. I am married and will NOT be quitting. There is NO reason that woman should need to quit their jobs while men do not! Just say no, ladies. Is your husband going to quit his job to do housework and distance learning? Of course not. Women have to stop voluntarily sacrificing their careers and financial well-being when men do not.

If the woman makes less money, it doesn’t make sense to have the man quit.

I am breadwinner and we are thinking of my husband quitting. It’s about numbers, and usually the woman makes less for many reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

Women need to stop doing stuff like this if we ever want to achieve equality.

Yeah, how dare you put the needs of your family above equality for women.

I also quit my job. I totally know that it is bad for equality but my kids need me right now. And honestly my clients were not getting a very effective lawyer so this is for the best for now.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that what's needed in a dual income household is for both to dial it back. For us a 30 hour week for both would be ideal. But it's not possible. We both work 45-50 hour weeks. Our jobs cannot be part time jobs. And so one person has to quit. DH loves his job more and I could get a job more easily when this is all over. We both could manage the kids and he is a full partner at home. This just isn't workable with school closed. We are somewhat unique in that our jobs are equal- most of my friends have husbands with a higher paying job. And in that case, it's obvious why the wife steps back. It just makes fiscal sense.

How about instead of blaming women, why not open the schools?!?! My youngest is in daycare and no cases of covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 of my friends already did

Same here. If given a choice between my career and my kids well being, its a no brainer. I'm just not sure if quitting so I can focus on getting them through this year is necessary yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave notice and will be quitting this month. My children need me. It sucks to be part of that statistic, but my boss (who has small children) heaped piles upon piles of work on me and didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about working 60+ hours per week during a pandemic and DL. If I had a more flexible and understanding job, I’d try to work through this. But here we are.

Women need to stop doing stuff like this if we ever want to achieve equality.

Women need to stop quitting terrible jobs?

Women need to stop quitting their job to provide unpaid labor for men.

You're right, I should sacrifice the wellbeing of my family for an abstract political concept. Good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a SAHM, these articles about women quitting all seem pretty obvious to me. Yes, a few of you managed to marry a fully “woke” equal partner who will do 50% or more of the “mental load” in addition to housework and child rearing, but I learned pretty quickly I did not marry such a man.

And I’ll be damned if I’m going to carry the whole mental load, run the house, care for the kids AND work a full time job. I’m not a martyr.

So don’t do the mental load and housework. Just say no.

Prioritize yourself and your career. You deserve it the same as a privileged man does. Again no one is forcing you to do housework. You basically allowed your husband to force you to quit working and when your kids are older you’ll deeply regret it.

Because of the flexibility of my job and inflexibility of his, there was no question of who would manage DL. But DH does way more housework to compensate. And we’re doing way more takeout. And I’ve let go of my initial perfectionism about managing DL. We’re both working much longer days, and are tired, but hanging in there. So there are ways a DH can make a fair contribution, and women do need to insist on not doing simply everything. But it’s hard regardless and everyone needs to figure out the best way to preserve their well being.

Many times the only way to get a man to do his share is to force it. Don’t buy groceries. Don’t order toilet paper. Don’t watch the kids. Don’t schedule things. It’s amazing what they can do when they have to. Keep in mind all of these men likely managed their own life before their secretary/cook/cleaner/nanny moved in.

I don’t think you understand. My husbands threshold for when to do laundry is when the underwear is gone. But first he will just buy extra underwear to stretch the laundry intervals. Same with groceries. Yes, he wouldn’t let us starve, but the quality of food available is going to be dramatically lower until he finally shops. Plus, at this point I’ve been a SAHM for a long time, so if I suddenly just stopped, he would think something was wrong with me. I agree a working mom could attempt this, but my husband would (rightfully) view it as a breech of our agreement if I suddenly shirked all my duties.