Reply to 1/4 of US Women may quit their jobs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a SAHM, these articles about women quitting all seem pretty obvious to me. Yes, a few of you managed to marry a fully “woke” equal partner who will do 50% or more of the “mental load” in addition to housework and child rearing, but I learned pretty quickly I did not marry such a man.

And I’ll be damned if I’m going to carry the whole mental load, run the house, care for the kids AND work a full time job. I’m not a martyr. [/quote]

So don’t do the mental load and housework.  Just say no.

Prioritize yourself and your career.  You deserve it the same as a privileged man does.   Again no one is forcing you to do housework.   You basically allowed your husband to force you to quit working and when your kids are older you’ll deeply regret it. [/quote]

Because of the flexibility of my job and inflexibility of his, there was no question of who would manage DL. But DH does way more housework to compensate. And we’re doing way more takeout. And I’ve let go of my initial perfectionism about managing DL. We’re both working much longer days, and are tired, but hanging in there. So there are ways a DH can make a fair contribution, and women do need to insist on not doing simply everything. But it’s hard regardless and everyone needs to figure out the best way to preserve their well being.[/quote]

Many times the only way to get a man to do his share is to force it.  Don’t buy groceries.  Don’t order toilet paper.  Don’t watch the kids.  Don’t schedule things.  It’s amazing what they can do when they have to.  Keep in mind all of these men likely managed their own life before their secretary/cook/cleaner/nanny moved in. [/quote]

I don’t think you understand. My husbands threshold for when to do laundry is when the underwear is gone. But first he will just buy extra underwear to stretch the laundry intervals. Same with groceries. Yes, he wouldn’t let us starve, but the quality of food available is going to be dramatically lower until he finally shops. Plus, at this point I’ve been a SAHM for a long time, so if I suddenly just stopped, he would think something was wrong with me. I agree a working mom could attempt this, but my husband would (rightfully) view it as a breech of our agreement if I suddenly shirked all my duties.[/quote]

Umm, you realize the PP wasn't talking to someone who has already decided to stay at home, right? This literally isn't about you.[/quote]

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