Considering an affair

[Anonymous]

Immoral, selfish, inconsiderate, hurtful, cold-hearted, weak.

[Anonymous]

You are a disgusting, selfish, immoral, poor excuse for a mother who thinks it’s sport to destroy countless lives. You must be a troll as you are truly a hideous ogre. Go back to your swamp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t. You will scratch your itch but later on you may end up dealing with a lot of troubles (breaking your spouse trust, possible divorce, messing up your colleague family, your kids in therapy after separation, lawyers bills etc). Not worth the risk.

OP here. I am aware of the consequences of my actions should it be found out. However, that wasn't the intent of my post. I am interested in pursuing this, just not sure how as I've never had an affair before. I know it's wrong on many levels to sleep with a man thats not my husband. That doesnt change the fact I still want to, and would given the chance. I just dont know how to approach him, and I may very well get shut down if he is like the rest of you shaking your finger at me

So your concern is that you will embarrass yourself?

[Anonymous]

You have to flirt and see if he flirts back. Ask open ended questions like, what are your plans for the evening (after the work events)? Would he like some company? Ask about his hotel room and does he feel the bed is comfy or show some other interest in his room in the hopes he will invite you to his room to answer your questions. Ask if he finds business travel hard and especially sleeping alone in a sterile hotel room? There are so many things you can ask and see if he takes the bait where you can escalate the conversation, yet still bow out innocently if his intentions don't match yours. You should know pretty quickly if he is game for some travel affair fun. Especially if he's done it before.

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself if lying to your own children is something that you will be able to do sans any guilt.

Because trust me.....
You will be lying to them A LOT.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do it with someone at work. Bad idea for many reasons.

Scratch that itch elsewhere, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a stupid way to scratch an itch. Find a better way.

OP here. A better way...how? Clearly I am not happy with what I am getting at home and conversations about our sex life has gotten us nowhere. On top of that, my husband travels and who knows what he is doing on these trips where he's staying out after midnight "entertaining clients". So maybe before anyone judges, its not always one sided. I am just trying to find a discreet way to fill a void in my marriage without blowing up my family. Unlike a lot of women on dcum, i need regular sex in my life and that is just not happening.

You’re looking for excuses to cheat and you want us to validate your decision. People who want to cheat, cheat. It doesn’t sound like you’re happy in your marriage or that you trust your husband (although that just sounds like you’re trying to justify your own desire to cheat). Look, OP you obviously want to cheat, but as others have said, be aware of the consequences. If caught, you will screw up your children’s lives, damage your marriage, jeopardize your job, and lose the respect of your friends and colleagues. If you’re willing to risk your life this way, then why not divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a stupid way to scratch an itch. Find a better way.

OP here. A better way...how? Clearly I am not happy with what I am getting at home and conversations about our sex life has gotten us nowhere. On top of that, my husband travels and who knows what he is doing on these trips where he's staying out after midnight "entertaining clients". So maybe before anyone judges, its not always one sided. I am just trying to find a discreet way to fill a void in my marriage without blowing up my family. Unlike a lot of women on dcum, i need regular sex in my life and that is just not happening.

You’re looking for excuses to cheat and you want us to validate your decision. People who want to cheat, cheat. It doesn’t sound like you’re happy in your marriage or that you trust your husband (although that just sounds like you’re trying to justify your own desire to cheat). Look, OP you obviously want to cheat, but as others have said, be aware of the consequences. If caught, you will screw up your children’s lives, damage your marriage, jeopardize your job, and lose the respect of your friends and colleagues. If you’re willing to risk your life this way, then why not divorce?

Because you may not get caught cheating. Like you said, it's a "risk", not a certainty. If you divorce, you lose everything for sure whereas if you cheat, you have at least a 50% chance of not losing everything. Game of probability but guess you are not a numbers person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a stupid way to scratch an itch. Find a better way.

OP here. A better way...how? Clearly I am not happy with what I am getting at home and conversations about our sex life has gotten us nowhere. On top of that, my husband travels and who knows what he is doing on these trips where he's staying out after midnight "entertaining clients". So maybe before anyone judges, its not always one sided. I am just trying to find a discreet way to fill a void in my marriage without blowing up my family. Unlike a lot of women on dcum, i need regular sex in my life and that is just not happening.

You’re looking for excuses to cheat and you want us to validate your decision. People who want to cheat, cheat. It doesn’t sound like you’re happy in your marriage or that you trust your husband (although that just sounds like you’re trying to justify your own desire to cheat). Look, OP you obviously want to cheat, but as others have said, be aware of the consequences. If caught, you will screw up your children’s lives, damage your marriage, jeopardize your job, and lose the respect of your friends and colleagues. If you’re willing to risk your life this way, then why not divorce?

Because you may not get caught cheating. Like you said, it's a "risk", not a certainty. If you divorce, you lose everything for sure whereas if you cheat, you have at least a 50% chance of not losing everything. Game of probability but guess you are not a numbers person.

If you’re gonna ‘shit where you eat’ , the chances are more than 50% and if you lose your job and go through a divorce, your life won’t be a bed of roses. But if you want to gamble on a numbers game, go ahead.

[Anonymous]

Too close for comfort. Never get your honey where you make your money. Always a mess.

Go on a vacay, get a random, leave the sand at the beach.

Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

OP, even if you have justified cheating in your own marriage, you still must know that it's not okay to target a married man for your fun. He may not want to cheat but you lead him astray- that's wrong. If you're upset and not getting any in your own marriage and you believe cheating is the answer, at least find a single man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t. You will scratch your itch but later on you may end up dealing with a lot of troubles (breaking your spouse trust, possible divorce, messing up your colleague family, your kids in therapy after separation, lawyers bills etc). Not worth the risk.

OP here. I am aware of the consequences of my actions should it be found out. However, that wasn't the intent of my post. I am interested in pursuing this, just not sure how as I've never had an affair before. I know it's wrong on many levels to sleep with a man thats not my husband. That doesnt change the fact I still want to, and would given the chance. I just dont know how to approach him, and I may very well get shut down if he is like the rest of you shaking your finger at me

Then take actual responsibility for those feelings, be an adult, and end your marriage before pursuing another relationship. What you’re considering is unbelievably selfish. It doesn’t matter if your husband maybe already has done it.

So many people around here who know how to run other people's lives. What are you doing on a message board? You should be selling your advice for a ton of money if it's so good.

(Or you can just stop judging and mind your own business.)

If you are posting on a public forum, then you take the chance of getting opinions that differ to yours. If you want that, then start your own and limit it to like minded people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go read some of the stories on surviving infidelity or talk about marriage, and then see if you still want to be a cheater. Maybe consider getting individual counseling to figure out why you think potentially blowing up your family could be a good idea.

Seriously? Those stories do nothing for me. I always end up thinking how pathetic the cheated upon seem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t. You will scratch your itch but later on you may end up dealing with a lot of troubles (breaking your spouse trust, possible divorce, messing up your colleague family, your kids in therapy after separation, lawyers bills etc). Not worth the risk.

OP here. I am aware of the consequences of my actions should it be found out. However, that wasn't the intent of my post. I am interested in pursuing this, just not sure how as I've never had an affair before. I know it's wrong on many levels to sleep with a man thats not my husband. That doesnt change the fact I still want to, and would given the chance. I just dont know how to approach him, and I may very well get shut down if he is like the rest of you shaking your finger at me

I think ... you just tell him. One day over coffee just tell him you are wildly attracted to him and see what he says. It might move forward from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go read some of the stories on surviving infidelity or talk about marriage, and then see if you still want to be a cheater. Maybe consider getting individual counseling to figure out why you think potentially blowing up your family could be a good idea.

Seriously? Those stories do nothing for me. I always end up thinking how pathetic the cheated upon seem.

I mean... you’re probably a sociopath. Just go ahead and do it, if you lose at least some access to your children they are probably better off.