Considering an affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Humans are not meant to be monogamous

Then be in an open relationship. Why are you so dumb? No one is saying don't have an open, polyamorous relationship. But don't swear to someone that you're in a monogamous situation till death, the sleep with others and love them and lie about it. It's a matter of biology at that point, it's a matter of ethics, and if you lack them, great, just don't blame it on biology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Humans are not meant to be monogamous

Then be in an open relationship. Why are you so dumb? No one is saying don't have an open, polyamorous relationship. But don't swear to someone that you're in a monogamous situation till death, the sleep with others and love them and lie about it. It's a matter of biology at that point, it's a matter of ethics, and if you lack them, great, just don't blame it on biology.

Right!

And speaking of love, OP, don't forget to consider the possibility that you could actually fall in love with this married affair partner. If he doesn't want to leave his wife (which is often the case) and chooses to end the affair, then where does that leave you?

[Anonymous]

Not. Worth. It. I’m telling you this as someone that is crawling out of the wreckage that I caused after my2 year affair was discovered. Sure, it was exciting and fun for a while, but the after effects are god-awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not. Worth. It. I’m telling you this as someone that is crawling out of the wreckage that I caused after my2 year affair was discovered. Sure, it was exciting and fun for a while, but the after effects are god-awful.

But you love the drama and attention, right dear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not. Worth. It. I’m telling you this as someone that is crawling out of the wreckage that I caused after my2 year affair was discovered. Sure, it was exciting and fun for a while, but the after effects are god-awful.

How was it discovered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not. Worth. It. I’m telling you this as someone that is crawling out of the wreckage that I caused after my2 year affair was discovered. Sure, it was exciting and fun for a while, but the after effects are god-awful.

How was it discovered?

NP, but why do you always ask that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not. Worth. It. I’m telling you this as someone that is crawling out of the wreckage that I caused after my2 year affair was discovered. Sure, it was exciting and fun for a while, but the after effects are god-awful.

How was it discovered?

NP, but why do you always ask that?

Because I am genuinely curious how on earth people get found out. I don’t get it. If people do that, they should be smart about not getting caught. I hear those stories and I wonder more about the outcome than how it happened.

[Anonymous]

2 year affair poster here.

My husband had suspicions. Went through my purse and found some pretty damning evidence. I got really careless there at the end.

and yes, I did love the rollercoaster of the affair. But it still wasn't worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 year affair poster here.

My husband had suspicions. Went through my purse and found some pretty damning evidence. I got really careless there at the end.

and yes, I did love the rollercoaster of the affair. But it still wasn't worth it.

PP here: I am always curious. I suppose it was not an exit affair. I always seem to assume people—women especially—would only have affairs because they know their marriage is over and would not care that much if they got found out. Since you said it was devastating, I guess it was not an exit affair.

[Anonymous]

2 yr pp again.

I was kind of ambivalent about my marriage during the affair. It was easier to maintain status quo. But when actually faced with losing our marriage, I realized how much I wanted to salvage it.

The affair was a symptom of a lot of issues in our marriage that are coming to light now. My spouse and I are doing our best to work through them. Lots of communication and therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 yr pp again.

I was kind of ambivalent about my marriage during the affair. It was easier to maintain status quo. But when actually faced with losing our marriage, I realized how much I wanted to salvage it.

The affair was a symptom of a lot of issues in our marriage that are coming to light now. My spouse and I are doing our best to work through them. Lots of communication and therapy.

not to be crude, but you got to enjoy new d*ck for 2 years, so does you DH get to enjoy some new p*ssy? I mean how does that work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 year affair poster here.

My husband had suspicions. Went through my purse and found some pretty damning evidence. I got really careless there at the end.

and yes, I did love the rollercoaster of the affair. But it still wasn't worth it.

Did you break it off with your affair partner right after being caught? Or did it drag on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 yr pp again.

I was kind of ambivalent about my marriage during the affair. It was easier to maintain status quo. But when actually faced with losing our marriage, I realized how much I wanted to salvage it.

The affair was a symptom of a lot of issues in our marriage that are coming to light now. My spouse and I are doing our best to work through them. Lots of communication and therapy.

Did your spouse want to divorce you over it? If so, how did you convince your spouse to do therapy and give you another chance? Does your spouse trust you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be low on empathy — for your spouse and their spouse (and kids).

In other words, she’s a woman.

Oh hey, incel bro! How’s the weather over in Moscow today?

Ditto!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t. Just do not. Have integrity.

+1