Did I not do enough to help my DD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah but what good will come of going to film school in this economy?

Chances are very slim that your neighbor's DD is the next Steven Spielberg.

I went to college with someone whose dream was film (undergrad was liberal arts in a very small school, he did the film stuff in grad school). Ultimately he became a high school media teacher. He was entirely happy with that, but that kind of career is probably not what OP's neighbor has in mind.

[Anonymous]

But did her kid want to go to that school? It all sounds controlling and demanding of a kid to fulfill a parent's dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coming up with a Master Plan when the child is in Middle School, and basing all of their choices (for camps, activities, etc) on that...is not being a good parent to me. It is painting that kid into a corner (assigning them to a box, which you have labeled success) when you should all be exploring who they are. By having a breadth of experiences, and pursuing what appeals to them AS THEY GROW into who they are meant to be...they will achieve happiness and fulfillment. NOT by hiring consultants who can rig some artificial childhood that looks good to admissions committees five years later. That is not a healthy, natural childhood.

Agree, but the people doing this sort of artificial packaging aren’t healthy parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our neighbor is a bit obsessed with one particular top college for her DD, and has been for years. Starting the summer before her DD’s sophomore year in highschool, she signed her up for pre college summer courses at said school, and continued to find what I now perceive to be smart ways to build a case of genuine interest. Finally, said school announced they were opening a new film department and the DD targeted her extracurricular towards demonstrating an interest in film and, you guessed it, she specifically targeted that major in her application essays. In my opinion, this girl stood out for interest over the years and by applying to a new program for which the school wanted to build its reputation and fill its seats. Now, with results out this past week (she was accepted ED) I started looking at my neighbor as brilliant and wished my brain worked this way and that I had provided more strategic guidance to my DD who was going through the process at the same time. I am kicking myself. Am I the only one that didn’t get on this train early enough?

Your neighbor sounds a bit crazy. We have no idea what the kid's preferences are but if they don't match mom's this kid is heading for a fall.

[Anonymous]

How different is what the neighbor did than putting a kid in multiple sports at a very young age, winnowing down to the one the child seemed most skilled at, getting them on the best/right travel teams and/or summer camps to get exposure to college coaches etc?

To me, it isn't. Many hooks are cultivated from a young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How different is what the neighbor did than putting a kid in multiple sports at a very young age, winnowing down to the one the child seemed most skilled at, getting them on the best/right travel teams and/or summer camps to get exposure to college coaches etc?

To me, it isn't. Many hooks are cultivated from a young age.

My niece will compete for a division I swim program at a selective flagship college next year. Her parents took this approach, enrolled her and her sister in many different activities around ages 5-7, including gymnastics, swimming, soccer, etc. Her older sister did these things for a few years but wasnt very interested and dropped in elementary school. The younger sister loves swimming but the work it took for her to get good enough to be recruited was incredible. She gets up for 4:30 AM practices multiple times a week, has to skip so many social events bc of her training and meet schedule.

As the old saying goes: you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink. This approach only works if the kid is seriously into the activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son got into a top 20 and would not have without us. We encouraged him to sign up for ECs over the years, prepped him for the ACT, helped him work on a special fundraising project which he talked about in his essay, reviewed and edited his essays (did not rewrite...just gave input), contacted influential alumni who advocated on his behalf, etc. etc. This is how you get into an elite school these days without a hook. It's sad but true.

We did something similar, and our (no hooks) son is now at a top 10 school. You start with great grades in tough classes, top scores on standardized tests, then work around their strengths and interests to create their profile. When reviewers look at your DC's application, what are the 6-8 bullet points that they can write on the 1st page of the application e.g;

*Grades/school/classes: Top 10% at <school name>, AP/Honors classes
*Test scores: 1580 SAT, 35 ACT
*Valedictorian or other academic distinctions, AP Scholar (and/or winner of national competitions), etc.
*Outstanding Ecs: studied abroad, founded <blank> nonprofit, etc., published articles, etc.
*Essay score
*Recs - how strong/who from
*Hooks: athletic stats, legacy status (if any), affirmative action etc. or other outstanding info.
*Proposed major

You begin to get the picture of how a profile is created.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son got into a top 20 and would not have without us. We encouraged him to sign up for ECs over the years, prepped him for the ACT, helped him work on a special fundraising project which he talked about in his essay, reviewed and edited his essays (did not rewrite...just gave input), contacted influential alumni who advocated on his behalf, etc. etc. This is how you get into an elite school these days without a hook. It's sad but true.

We did something similar, and our (no hooks) son is now at a top 10 school. You start with great grades in tough classes, top scores on standardized tests, then work around their strengths and interests to create their profile. When reviewers look at your DC's application, what are the 6-8 bullet points that they can write on the 1st page of the application e.g;

*Grades/school/classes: Top 10% at <school name>, AP/Honors classes
*Test scores: 1580 SAT, 35 ACT
*Valedictorian or other academic distinctions, AP Scholar (and/or winner of national competitions), etc.
*Outstanding Ecs: studied abroad, founded <blank> nonprofit, etc., published articles, etc.
*Essay score
*Recs - how strong/who from
*Hooks: athletic stats, legacy status (if any), affirmative action etc. or other outstanding info.
*Proposed major

You begin to get the picture of how a profile is created.

the number one bullet is race and gender. Everything after that is considered in light of that information.
Not being critical here; it's just how the process works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son got into a top 20 and would not have without us. We encouraged him to sign up for ECs over the years, prepped him for the ACT, helped him work on a special fundraising project which he talked about in his essay, reviewed and edited his essays (did not rewrite...just gave input), contacted influential alumni who advocated on his behalf, etc. etc. This is how you get into an elite school these days without a hook. It's sad but true.

We did something similar, and our (no hooks) son is now at a top 10 school. You start with great grades in tough classes, top scores on standardized tests, then work around their strengths and interests to create their profile. When reviewers look at your DC's application, what are the 6-8 bullet points that they can write on the 1st page of the application e.g;

*Grades/school/classes: Top 10% at <school name>, AP/Honors classes
*Test scores: 1580 SAT, 35 ACT
*Valedictorian or other academic distinctions, AP Scholar (and/or winner of national competitions), etc.
*Outstanding Ecs: studied abroad, founded <blank> nonprofit, etc., published articles, etc.
*Essay score
*Recs - how strong/who from
*Hooks: athletic stats, legacy status (if any), affirmative action etc. or other outstanding info.
*Proposed major

You begin to get the picture of how a profile is created.

the number one bullet is race and gender. Everything after that is considered in light of that information.
Not being critical here; it's just how the process works.

Race far more than gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son got into a top 20 and would not have without us. We encouraged him to sign up for ECs over the years, prepped him for the ACT, helped him work on a special fundraising project which he talked about in his essay, reviewed and edited his essays (did not rewrite...just gave input), contacted influential alumni who advocated on his behalf, etc. etc. This is how you get into an elite school these days without a hook. It's sad but true.

We did something similar, and our (no hooks) son is now at a top 10 school. You start with great grades in tough classes, top scores on standardized tests, then work around their strengths and interests to create their profile. When reviewers look at your DC's application, what are the 6-8 bullet points that they can write on the 1st page of the application e.g;

*Grades/school/classes: Top 10% at <school name>, AP/Honors classes
*Test scores: 1580 SAT, 35 ACT
*Valedictorian or other academic distinctions, AP Scholar (and/or winner of national competitions), etc.
*Outstanding Ecs: studied abroad, founded <blank> nonprofit, etc., published articles, etc.
*Essay score
*Recs - how strong/who from
*Hooks: athletic stats, legacy status (if any), affirmative action etc. or other outstanding info.
*Proposed major

You begin to get the picture of how a profile is created.

the number one bullet is race and gender. Everything after that is considered in light of that information.
Not being critical here; it's just how the process works.

Race far more than gender.

True. At some schools though gender does matter, i.e.: William and Mary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son got into a top 20 and would not have without us. We encouraged him to sign up for ECs over the years, prepped him for the ACT, helped him work on a special fundraising project which he talked about in his essay, reviewed and edited his essays (did not rewrite...just gave input), contacted influential alumni who advocated on his behalf, etc. etc. This is how you get into an elite school these days without a hook. It's sad but true.

Lol....will you be going to college with your son to ensure the grad school app is as strong as possible? Why couldn’t your child have done all of these things for himself? My unhooked DD somehow managed to get herself into a top 10 without a four year strategic plan authored and executed by her parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son got into a top 20 and would not have without us. We encouraged him to sign up for ECs over the years, prepped him for the ACT, helped him work on a special fundraising project which he talked about in his essay, reviewed and edited his essays (did not rewrite...just gave input), contacted influential alumni who advocated on his behalf, etc. etc. This is how you get into an elite school these days without a hook. It's sad but true.

We did something similar, and our (no hooks) son is now at a top 10 school. You start with great grades in tough classes, top scores on standardized tests, then work around their strengths and interests to create their profile. When reviewers look at your DC's application, what are the 6-8 bullet points that they can write on the 1st page of the application e.g;

*Grades/school/classes: Top 10% at <school name>, AP/Honors classes
*Test scores: 1580 SAT, 35 ACT
*Valedictorian or other academic distinctions, AP Scholar (and/or winner of national competitions), etc.
*Outstanding Ecs: studied abroad, founded <blank> nonprofit, etc., published articles, etc.
*Essay score
*Recs - how strong/who from
*Hooks: athletic stats, legacy status (if any), affirmative action etc. or other outstanding info.
*Proposed major

You begin to get the picture of how a profile is created.

the number one bullet is race and gender. Everything after that is considered in light of that information.
Not being critical here; it's just how the process works.

Not true. Grades are definitely number one for top schools and Ivies. Not saying race doesn't factor in, but to say it is number one is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son got into a top 20 and would not have without us. We encouraged him to sign up for ECs over the years, prepped him for the ACT, helped him work on a special fundraising project which he talked about in his essay, reviewed and edited his essays (did not rewrite...just gave input), contacted influential alumni who advocated on his behalf, etc. etc. This is how you get into an elite school these days without a hook. It's sad but true.

We did something similar, and our (no hooks) son is now at a top 10 school. You start with great grades in tough classes, top scores on standardized tests, then work around their strengths and interests to create their profile. When reviewers look at your DC's application, what are the 6-8 bullet points that they can write on the 1st page of the application e.g;

*Grades/school/classes: Top 10% at <school name>, AP/Honors classes
*Test scores: 1580 SAT, 35 ACT
*Valedictorian or other academic distinctions, AP Scholar (and/or winner of national competitions), etc.
*Outstanding Ecs: studied abroad, founded <blank> nonprofit, etc., published articles, etc.
*Essay score
*Recs - how strong/who from
*Hooks: athletic stats, legacy status (if any), affirmative action etc. or other outstanding info.
*Proposed major

You begin to get the picture of how a profile is created.

the number one bullet is race and gender. Everything after that is considered in light of that information.
Not being critical here; it's just how the process works.

Not true. Grades are definitely number one for top schools and Ivies. Not saying race doesn't factor in, but to say it is number one is ridiculous.

really? then explain why someone in one racial group will be denied while someone with the exact same grades or lower will get accepted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son got into a top 20 and would not have without us. We encouraged him to sign up for ECs over the years, prepped him for the ACT, helped him work on a special fundraising project which he talked about in his essay, reviewed and edited his essays (did not rewrite...just gave input), contacted influential alumni who advocated on his behalf, etc. etc. This is how you get into an elite school these days without a hook. It's sad but true.

We did something similar, and our (no hooks) son is now at a top 10 school. You start with great grades in tough classes, top scores on standardized tests, then work around their strengths and interests to create their profile. When reviewers look at your DC's application, what are the 6-8 bullet points that they can write on the 1st page of the application e.g;

*Grades/school/classes: Top 10% at <school name>, AP/Honors classes
*Test scores: 1580 SAT, 35 ACT
*Valedictorian or other academic distinctions, AP Scholar (and/or winner of national competitions), etc.
*Outstanding Ecs: studied abroad, founded <blank> nonprofit, etc., published articles, etc.
*Essay score
*Recs - how strong/who from
*Hooks: athletic stats, legacy status (if any), affirmative action etc. or other outstanding info.
*Proposed major

You begin to get the picture of how a profile is created.

the number one bullet is race and gender. Everything after that is considered in light of that information.
Not being critical here; it's just how the process works.

Not true. Grades are definitely number one for top schools and Ivies. Not saying race doesn't factor in, but to say it is number one is ridiculous.

really? then explain why someone in one racial group will be denied while someone with the exact same grades or lower will get accepted?

should have said while someone in a different racial group with the same grades or lower will get accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son got into a top 20 and would not have without us. We encouraged him to sign up for ECs over the years, prepped him for the ACT, helped him work on a special fundraising project which he talked about in his essay, reviewed and edited his essays (did not rewrite...just gave input), contacted influential alumni who advocated on his behalf, etc. etc. This is how you get into an elite school these days without a hook. It's sad but true.

We did something similar, and our (no hooks) son is now at a top 10 school. You start with great grades in tough classes, top scores on standardized tests, then work around their strengths and interests to create their profile. When reviewers look at your DC's application, what are the 6-8 bullet points that they can write on the 1st page of the application e.g;

*Grades/school/classes: Top 10% at <school name>, AP/Honors classes
*Test scores: 1580 SAT, 35 ACT
*Valedictorian or other academic distinctions, AP Scholar (and/or winner of national competitions), etc.
*Outstanding Ecs: studied abroad, founded <blank> nonprofit, etc., published articles, etc.
*Essay score
*Recs - how strong/who from
*Hooks: athletic stats, legacy status (if any), affirmative action etc. or other outstanding info.
*Proposed major

You begin to get the picture of how a profile is created.

the number one bullet is race and gender. Everything after that is considered in light of that information.
Not being critical here; it's just how the process works.

Not true. Grades are definitely number one for top schools and Ivies. Not saying race doesn't factor in, but to say it is number one is ridiculous.

That can't possibly be true. There are vastly more applicants with near perfect grades than spots for them at the top schools and Ivies - I'd go so far as to say grades are rarely the determining factor in admissions at these schools.