How to RSVP to an event and (politely) mention that I am a vegetarian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is akin to someone who is Jewish not eating pork; it's part of their belief system.

What religion is THAT?

[Anonymous]

I'm a vegetarian. In a restaurant I wouldn't say anything in advance. There's always something. Even if the salad has bacon you can easily and quietly request a plain salad.

I'm not in the group that thinks you never mention being veg, but in this case I don't think its necessary. Only one time was I completely unable to be accommodated (it was at a Chinese restaurant - in the south! - at a large party served family style, and they just kept saying I could have white rice and they were unable to serve anything else). I picked at some plain rice and stopped at a sandwich place after .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is akin to someone who is Jewish not eating pork; it's part of their belief system.

What religion is THAT?

You don't realize there are religions that don't eat pork? 2 out of the 3 major ones don't.

[Anonymous]

I think its fine to mention it. A host or hostess would far rather know and the CC will certainly be able to provide a vegetarian option, whether this is a sit down meal or buffet. Realizing this oversight at the last moment puts a host at a disadvantage. Simply stating, Vegetarian option, please. in the RSVP is sufficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to know as a host, and I'd receive it very well if you just said something like, "I'm really looking forward to Jane's baby shower and will definitely be there! If it matters for your arrangements, I am vegetarian. I can always find something to eat, so no need to make special accommodations, but I wanted to let you know in case it helps you with the catering."

You are a polite and kind host! But the reality is (as you can see from some of the PPs), most people aren't actually polite hosts and tend to get really weird if someone says they are a vegetarian.

I have inlaws who have known for 9 years that I don't eat meat. I never told them when invited. I have never asked that they accommodate me. But they know because they ask why I'm not eating turkey/ham/beef at events. Even after they found out, they still make zero effort to make non-meat dishes. In fact, they seem to go out of their way to add meat to all the dishes. They put ham in the mac and cheese. They put bacon in the salad. They put ham in the green beans. Pretty much the only thing I ever eat at their events is bread. I'm always polite, but honestly, I think they're incredibly rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a vegetarian. In a restaurant I wouldn't say anything in advance. There's always something. Even if the salad has bacon you can easily and quietly request a plain salad.

I'm not in the group that thinks you never mention being veg, but in this case I don't think its necessary. Only one time was I completely unable to be accommodated (it was at a Chinese restaurant - in the south! - at a large party served family style, and they just kept saying I could have white rice and they were unable to serve anything else). I picked at some plain rice and stopped at a sandwich place after .

The restaurant kept saying that!? Crazy. What Chinese restaurant doesn't have a mixed veggie dish or tofu dish on its menu?! I certainly hope you mean the party you were dining with didn't keep saying that . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is akin to someone who is Jewish not eating pork; it's part of their belief system.

What religion is THAT?

You don't realize there are religions that don't eat pork? 2 out of the 3 major ones don't.

PP here - I was referring to the "vegetarian" religion. The poster compared being a vegetarian to being Jewish. Nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is akin to someone who is Jewish not eating pork; it's part of their belief system.

What religion is THAT?

If you are asking what religion requires vegetarianism, plenty do. Buddhism. Hinduism. And then there are non-deity-centric belief systems that emphasize not eating meat.

The point is that it is a moral/ethical choice, not an issue of palate or taste preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to know as a host, and I'd receive it very well if you just said something like, "I'm really looking forward to Jane's baby shower and will definitely be there! If it matters for your arrangements, I am vegetarian. I can always find something to eat, so no need to make special accommodations, but I wanted to let you know in case it helps you with the catering."

You are a polite and kind host! But the reality is (as you can see from some of the PPs), most people aren't actually polite hosts and tend to get really weird if someone says they are a vegetarian.

I have inlaws who have known for 9 years that I don't eat meat. I never told them when invited. I have never asked that they accommodate me. But they know because they ask why I'm not eating turkey/ham/beef at events. Even after they found out, they still make zero effort to make non-meat dishes. In fact, they seem to go out of their way to add meat to all the dishes. They put ham in the mac and cheese. They put bacon in the salad. They put ham in the green beans. Pretty much the only thing I ever eat at their events is bread. I'm always polite, but honestly, I think they're incredibly rude.

Well thanks, but I don't think I'm that polite or kind at all! Jeez, that is pretty basic hosting. I agree, your inlaws are super rude!

We have a family member who has developed a bunch of food allergies in the last two years - eggs, all red meat (can still eat chicken/turkey), bananas, a bunch of other stuff. We ALWAYS make sure we have items that fit her needs at big family dinners. And not just a little, like -- lots of options. We make dessert using substitutes instead of eggs, etc. I cannot imagine treating family that poorly! I'll be more thankful for how awesome our extended family is I guess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is akin to someone who is Jewish not eating pork; it's part of their belief system.

What religion is THAT?

You don't realize there are religions that don't eat pork? 2 out of the 3 major ones don't.

PP here - I was referring to the "vegetarian" religion. The poster compared being a vegetarian to being Jewish. Nonsense.

And I responded. There are religions that require vegetarianism. And even outside of organized religion, some people have made that choice as part of an overall ethical belief.

Seventh Day Adventists are also vegetarians, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Eat before you go there and eat whatever you can there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to know as a host, and I'd receive it very well if you just said something like, "I'm really looking forward to Jane's baby shower and will definitely be there! If it matters for your arrangements, I am vegetarian. I can always find something to eat, so no need to make special accommodations, but I wanted to let you know in case it helps you with the catering."

You are a polite and kind host! But the reality is (as you can see from some of the PPs), most people aren't actually polite hosts and tend to get really weird if someone says they are a vegetarian.

I have inlaws who have known for 9 years that I don't eat meat. I never told them when invited. I have never asked that they accommodate me. But they know because they ask why I'm not eating turkey/ham/beef at events. Even after they found out, they still make zero effort to make non-meat dishes. In fact, they seem to go out of their way to add meat to all the dishes. They put ham in the mac and cheese. They put bacon in the salad. They put ham in the green beans. Pretty much the only thing I ever eat at their events is bread. I'm always polite, but honestly, I think they're incredibly rude.

Well thanks, but I don't think I'm that polite or kind at all! Jeez, that is pretty basic hosting. I agree, your inlaws are super rude!

We have a family member who has developed a bunch of food allergies in the last two years - eggs, all red meat (can still eat chicken/turkey), bananas, a bunch of other stuff. We ALWAYS make sure we have items that fit her needs at big family dinners. And not just a little, like -- lots of options. We make dessert using substitutes instead of eggs, etc. I cannot imagine treating family that poorly! I'll be more thankful for how awesome our extended family is I guess

I wish you were my inlaw But yeah, I've struggled with how to deal with them. It used to really upset me that they didn't at least leave one dish vegetarian. It's not that I want them to go to trouble, but it made me feel like they simply did not care about me. I do not preach to people about why I don't eat the things I don't eat, but my choice to live that lifestyle is important to me and has roots in some deeply held beliefs that are close to my heart. I actually have a lot of respect for people who hunt (and eat what they hunt -- not trophy hunters), so it isn't that I pass judgment on people who do eat meat. But it would be nice if the people who are supposed to be my family at least left one dish vegetarian to show me that they want me to feel included.
I brought spanakopita one year to a family event. And they seemed irritated. Other people brought dishes, so it wasn't as if I was being rude. They wrapped it up at the end and handed it to me to take home. So now I don't bring anything. I eat beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to know as a host, and I'd receive it very well if you just said something like, "I'm really looking forward to Jane's baby shower and will definitely be there! If it matters for your arrangements, I am vegetarian. I can always find something to eat, so no need to make special accommodations, but I wanted to let you know in case it helps you with the catering."

Noooooo! This is not the host's problem. If you have an allergy, ok, but not because you choose to be veg. If you have a religious objection to eating meat, maybe. But your lifestyle choice, take a clue from Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) in Notting Hill and be polite and eat what you can. Approach wait staff if you think you must, but don't give the host any more to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to know as a host, and I'd receive it very well if you just said something like, "I'm really looking forward to Jane's baby shower and will definitely be there! If it matters for your arrangements, I am vegetarian. I can always find something to eat, so no need to make special accommodations, but I wanted to let you know in case it helps you with the catering."

Noooooo! This is not the host's problem. If you have an allergy, ok, but not because you choose to be veg. If you have a religious objection to eating meat, maybe. But your lifestyle choice, take a clue from Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) in Notting Hill and be polite and eat what you can. Approach wait staff if you think you must, but don't give the host any more to worry about.

Seriously, how hard is it to say "have three vegetarian meals on hand?" That took 10 seconds to type, 5 seconds to say to the caterer. This is not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

You don't mention it, unless you are specifically asked for your preference.

I eat a paleo, ketogenic diet for health reasons. I rarely find bar food or party food that's acceptable to me, but I would *never* mention this to a host, either beforehand or after hand. I simply try to eat before or after an event or find a snack that is acceptable to me.