Reply to How to RSVP to an event and (politely) mention that I am a vegetarian?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd want to know as a host, and I'd receive it very well if you just said something like, "I'm really looking forward to Jane's baby shower and will definitely be there! If it matters for your arrangements, I am vegetarian. I can always find something to eat, so no need to make special accommodations, but I wanted to let you know in case it helps you with the catering." [/quote]

You are a polite and kind host!  But the reality is (as you can see from some of the PPs), most people aren't actually polite hosts and tend to get really weird if someone says they are a vegetarian.

I have inlaws who have known for 9 years that I don't eat meat.  I never told them when invited.  I have never asked that they accommodate me.  But they know because they ask why I'm not eating turkey/ham/beef at events.  Even after they found out, they still make zero effort to make non-meat dishes.  In fact, they seem to go out of their way to add meat to all the dishes.  They put ham in the mac and cheese.  They put bacon in the salad.  They put ham in the green beans.  Pretty much the only thing I ever eat at their events is bread.  I'm always polite, but honestly, I think they're incredibly rude.[/quote]

Well thanks, but I don't think I'm that polite or kind at all! Jeez, that is pretty basic hosting. I agree, your inlaws are super rude!

We have a family member who has developed a bunch of food allergies in the last two years - eggs, all red meat (can still eat chicken/turkey), bananas, a bunch of other stuff. We ALWAYS make sure we have items that fit her needs at big family dinners. And not just a little, like -- lots of options. We make dessert using substitutes instead of eggs, etc. I cannot imagine treating family that poorly! I'll be more thankful for how awesome our extended family is I guess :) [/quote]

I wish you were my inlaw :D  But yeah, I've struggled with how to deal with them.   It used to really upset me that they didn't at least leave one dish vegetarian.  It's not that I want them to go to trouble, but it made me feel like they simply did not care about me.  I do not preach to people about why I don't eat the things I don't eat, but my choice to live that lifestyle is important to me and has roots in some deeply held beliefs that are close to my heart.  I actually have a lot of respect for people who hunt (and eat what they hunt -- not trophy hunters), so it isn't that I pass judgment on people who do eat meat.  But it would be nice if the people who are supposed to be my family at least left one dish vegetarian to show me that they want me to feel included.
I brought spanakopita one year to a family event.  And they seemed irritated.  Other people brought dishes, so it wasn't as if I was being rude.  They wrapped it up at the end and handed it to me to take home.  So now I don't bring anything.  I eat beforehand.  [/quote]

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