My husband comes home at night and takes my kids out of bed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it extremely odd that you're referring to the kids as "my kids" and not OUR kids.

+1.

+2. That's the first thing that stood out to me in this post.

[Anonymous]

If the kids are so important to DH, he needs to get home earlier. I'll never understand anyone who prioritizes work over family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the kids are so important to DH, he needs to get home earlier. I'll never understand anyone who prioritizes work over family.

You stay at home all day and expect the bills to be paid how? People have to work, earn income, to pay bills, you know, for the house you live in. Welcome to the real world. Smh at the men that marry women like you.

[Anonymous]

I'm shocked at the posts supporting the husband here. I would resent having to do the whole evening routine myself, full stop, without DH undoing it. I would probably call them "my" kids in that situation too.

Maybe an 8:30 bedtime would work and maybe not: with the commutes in this area, lots of people have to get their kids up early. My 3 yo gets up at 6:10 and we leave the house at 6:45. Her bedtime routine starts at 7:00.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn't work for our little ones. My three year old needs 11-12 hours of sleep so he isn't grumpy and feels good. He doesn't nap during the day. Waking him up after an hour of sleep sounds crazy to me. DH agrees.

Also, if he wakes them up at 8:15 or 8:30 and gets them so riled up they're screaming and running around there is no way that they're ready to sleep again by 8:30. It sounds like it gets really late.

I'm curious who puts them to bed after this playtime as well.

It sounds like a compromise could be that instead of play time he could spend quiet time with them maybe reading books and singing a good night song. That's something my husband always enjoys doing. Maybe he can notify you earlier in the day to let you know when he'll be home the kids will be ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you dcum parents are just weird. You flip out over irrelevant things in life, bedtime at 7:30pm! No wonder some of you parents are so fragile and have mental breakdowns. Let the man spend fun social bonding time with his kids. Op, do you really think going to bed 1 hour later will harm them? Are you naturally a controlling person. Just tell him to put them to bed when he is done.. Geez , your children will grow up with emotional problems as adults.

Yes! 7:30 is crazy early, easpecially if mom.is not picking them up until 5:30.

That is just two hours tops relaxing at home each night and no time with daddy. OP needs to get her priorities in place.

[Anonymous]

[flash]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked at the posts supporting the husband here. I would resent having to do the whole evening routine myself, full stop, without DH undoing it. I would probably call them "my" kids in that situation too.

Maybe an 8:30 bedtime would work and maybe not: with the commutes in this area, lots of people have to get their kids up early. My 3 yo gets up at 6:10 and we leave the house at 6:45. Her bedtime routine starts at 7:00.

But if OP just bumped bedtime back 30 minutes, she wouldn't have to do it one her own. Dad could do bedtime and she would just have bath and dinner.

The kids won't remember their bedtime when they get older nor will going to bed at 8:00 vs 7:30 make a difference in their lives.

However, they will remember not getting to see daddy during the week, and they will remember that dad loves them. I am sure they look forward to seeing him at night OP.

Keep themnup until he gets home OP, then let him do bedtime.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you OP. The problem with pushing bedtime just a little later is the dad come home an will rev them up.

You need to decide together on a bedtime. And on the rules. Maybe you can get him to agree to get home by 8 and do the final bedtime stuff. But it has to be calming, not getting them excited. If he wants more, he finds a way to get home earlier.

When my son was young my husband would plan to come home right at bedtime so he did not have to do any of the work but got to see our son. And my son would get so excited he would not sleep. I finally told my husband that if he wasn't home by a certain time, he had to wait until 9 pm. It sounds cold, but it was his own fault he had to stay late (he slept in and did not start work until 10 am).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked at the posts supporting the husband here. I would resent having to do the whole evening routine myself, full stop, without DH undoing it. I would probably call them "my" kids in that situation too.

Maybe an 8:30 bedtime would work and maybe not: with the commutes in this area, lots of people have to get their kids up early. My 3 yo gets up at 6:10 and we leave the house at 6:45. Her bedtime routine starts at 7:00.

Save the bath and bed time story routine for DH. Done.

You can't base your life on your commute. If your commute is that long and you Abe to lug your kids around on it such that your DH can't even see his own kids when they are conscious then you have to start changing things. Day care and school closer to home (babysitter?), closer job? Fewer hours? Babysitter at home so the kids can sleep later? Something.

[Anonymous]

Can they have their fun, crazy time in the morning? At night he does calmer activities and gets them to bed by 8:15 or so.

My DD went to bed by 7:30 at those ages, and woke up at 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Figure out a schedule together that works for both of you. Like adults.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you dcum parents are just weird. You flip out over irrelevant things in life, bedtime at 7:30pm! No wonder some of you parents are so fragile and have mental breakdowns. Let the man spend fun social bonding time with his kids. Op, do you really think going to bed 1 hour later will harm them? Are you naturally a controlling person. Just tell him to put them to bed when he is done.. Geez , your children will grow up with emotional problems as adults.

Yes! 7:30 is crazy early, easpecially if mom.is not picking them up until 5:30.

That is just two hours tops relaxing at home each night and no time with daddy. OP needs to get her priorities in place.

Seriously! Your poor kids. Only 2 hours with mom at night (probably less if you're commuting) and no time with dad unless he wakes them up? Sad.

[Anonymous]

That is not too early of a bedtime, it sounds healthy and prudent. I'd be furious if my DH woke up the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, I can't believe so may people are jumping on OP here. It's completely unacceptable what her DH does. WTF?!

I have to wake up my 3 yo at 6:30 at the latest. He needs to be asleep at 8:30 or he is grumpy, weepy, and tantrum my. And that's with a 2 hot nap!! So if the OP's kids no longer nap, 7:30 is a perfectly reasonable bedtime.

oP's DH's behavior is immature and irresponsible.

I kind of suspect sockpuppeting on this thread, for a variety of reasons. Perhaps someone should ask Jeff.

[Anonymous]

A million other wife's wish they had your problem. Think about it.