My husband comes home at night and takes my kids out of bed
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Anonymous
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I come home from work everyday at 5:30, get dinner ready, feed my kids (ages 3 and 5), bathe them, read to them, and put them to bed by around 7:30 and he saunters in every night between 7:30-8:30 and then goes upstairs and wakes them up, gets them out of bed, has play time. I am not talking about going into their rooms and quietly talking and tucking them in (which would be ok). It gets loud, they get out of bed, run around, screaming. It makes me SO ANGRY and RESENTFUL.
He claims it is so he can "spend time" with them but I find it infuriating and disrespectful to me. How to handle this? Any advice? |
Anonymous
| You're wrong. The kids need time with their father. He needs time with them. Just tell him to put them to bed. Or keep them up until he gets home and then have him bathe them and put them to bed. |
Anonymous
| What is wrong with him? This reeks of passive aggressivness and is probably really really bad for the kids developing a steady sleep schedule/sleeping through the night habits, which will probably stay with them for life (if my own history is any indication) |
Anonymous
Agreed. I doubt he is just "sauntering in." I'm guessing he worked all day and this is just the time he gets home. If I'm wrong and he's out doing leisure pursuits then he should come home earlier. If he's working...get over it. |
Anonymous
| Why do they have such a strict bedtime? |
Anonymous
| I find it extremely odd that you're referring to the kids as "my kids" and not OUR kids. |
Anonymous
| You could buy earplugs. Tell him- if you want to play with them, you can put them to bed. And you're doing it on your own. Period. |
Anonymous
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This used to get on my nerves too! DH would "go in to say goodnight," which would turn into playtime. Then he would have trouble putting ds back to sleep and I would have to do. bedtime all over again. What a pita!! We had many fights about this. Sadly, though, dh has been working sooo late now he gets home past 10 pm, that it is no longer an option.
If this is every day, why not just keep them up? If not every night maybe dh can let you know if he will be home at a reasonable hour so you can keep them up on those days? |
Anonymous
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Just put your kids to bed at 8.30pm. Problem sloves. Why do you need to put them in bed so early? Do they have to wake up at 6am?
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Anonymous
| Figure out a schedule together that works for both of you. Like adults. |
Anonymous
| Just leave the house when he gets home! Then he can deal with the mess he made. |
Anonymous
+1. |
Anonymous
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Why are you putti g them to bed so early?
A three and five year old can handle an 8:00 bedtime. Get them in pjs and have them "read" or draw quietly in their rooms until dad gets home to read them a bedtime story and visit. Having time with dad is far more important than that extra 15-30 minutes of sleep and a power struggle from you. |
Anonymous
| Do kids really go to sleep 7:30? That seems very early even for 3-year old. Our toddler sleeps only 10 hours (including nap) in 24 and goes to sleep at 11 pm. |
Anonymous
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Why is he coming home so late? If he works that late, and assuming he therefore goes into work late, could he have playtime in the morning with them?
I agree with PP that a better use of playtime is to have him read a bedtime story and visit quietly, no running around or getting them worked up. |