Anyone have experience with borderline personality disorder?

[Anonymous]

Look at Gunderson Residence at Mclean Hospital near Boston.

And be very aware that your parents will not live forever, and if your sibling is dependent on them for emotional support or financial support, have a plan in place for when she is "abandoned" by them when they pass away. Those will be very rough times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, is this a treatable thing? I am afriad I have it

Can I ask what makes you think you may have BPD? Would you be willing to share some of your experiences?

I think the worst of people. Deep trust issues. Difficulty regulating emotions. My ex left me because of all this. Yes, I acknowledge I have issues and want only the best for him and my friends. It's extremely hard for me to trust. I have noticed that I am paranoid about people trying to use somehow. I am
Miserable and want to change so badly. But I am afraid it's impossible. You see, I did have bad life experiences - physical abide by a family member, then betrayal by best friends and one boyfriend. At the same time, I do like to socialize and am a good mom (well, even my so-sick-of-me ex admits it)...

This doesn't sound at all like Borderline Personality Disorder to me. It sounds like anxiety, perhaps abandonment issues, and some other things.

A chief characteristic of BPD is manipulation. People with BPD see others as a tool for their own selves - "what can others do for me," even it's more related to emotional things, rather than task/activity/doing sorts of things (ie - how can I get others to make them realize how important I am to them and how much they need me, and not something like - how can I get someone to help me move next weekend)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, is this a treatable thing? I am afriad I have it

Can I ask what makes you think you may have BPD? Would you be willing to share some of your experiences?

I think the worst of people. Deep trust issues. Difficulty regulating emotions. My ex left me because of all this. Yes, I acknowledge I have issues and want only the best for him and my friends. It's extremely hard for me to trust. I have noticed that I am paranoid about people trying to use somehow. I am
Miserable and want to change so badly. But I am afraid it's impossible. You see, I did have bad life experiences - physical abide by a family member, then betrayal by best friends and one boyfriend. At the same time, I do like to socialize and am a good mom (well, even my so-sick-of-me ex admits it)...

Use me
Physical abuse


I forgot to mention that I am in therapy but it seems like my therapist is sick of me as well. I fell sruxk

New poster. Yes, it sounds possible to be BPD. It's pretty treatable if you really want treatment. But it sounds like your therapist is not the best for for you. I'd try looking for another. And the good news about BPD is it often lessens as you age.

My brother's girlfriend has BPD and I genuinely like her, and can tell she genuinely cares for others. But something triggers her and she either shuts down or completely freaks out. It's got to be horrifying hard to live that way. You deserve better. And you can get better. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Having btdt with the whole low minute thing (needing to leave enough so that my kids could get a hold of me if they needed to), it's possible that she came across abrupt and rude. When really what she was saying was the truth - "I want to talk to you, but I can't talk long on this phone because it's about to go dead". When she got to a phone that she could call you from, YOU ignored her call because you "don't like drama".

Honestly, you sound like a bit of a pill yourself. Sorry.

I don't think you read carefully. The OP offered to call her sister at home, and when the sister said she wasn't home, asked her where she was so that she could call her. This caused the sister to take great offense. You shouldn't call people names if you didn't even bother to read their post.

Her sister was probably annoyed (stressed!) that Op, who had basically called to chat, kept asking her questions knowing that her minutes were rapidly disappearing as they spoke. After they hung up, it sounds as though sis replayed the conversation in her head and felt bad about her abruptness - tried to smooth things over "I want to talk to you!" but Op had already gone into sulk mode - Apology not accepted! And all poor sis was trying to do was pick up milk before her kid got out of school...

Now Op is the wronged victim. And sis is a big old meanie. Well - I will be the lone one to say. Nope. Op, you sound high drama. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having btdt with the whole low minute thing (needing to leave enough so that my kids could get a hold of me if they needed to), it's possible that she came across abrupt and rude. When really what she was saying was the truth - "I want to talk to you, but I can't talk long on this phone because it's about to go dead". When she got to a phone that she could call you from, YOU ignored her call because you "don't like drama".

Honestly, you sound like a bit of a pill yourself. Sorry.

I don't think you read carefully. The OP offered to call her sister at home, and when the sister said she wasn't home, asked her where she was so that she could call her. This caused the sister to take great offense. You shouldn't call people names if you didn't even bother to read their post.

Her sister was probably annoyed (stressed!) that Op, who had basically called to chat, kept asking her questions knowing that her minutes were rapidly disappearing as they spoke. After they hung up, it sounds as though sis replayed the conversation in her head and felt bad about her abruptness - tried to smooth things over "I want to talk to you!" but Op had already gone into sulk mode - Apology not accepted! And all poor sis was trying to do was pick up milk before her kid got out of school...

Now Op is the wronged victim. And sis is a big old meanie. Well - I will be the lone one to say. Nope. Op, you sound high drama. Sorry.

You are entitled to your opinion. If my sister was stressed about her minutes, she was under no obligation to answer the phone in the first place. She could have texted to let me know that and asked me to call her at home. That is what someone who values relationships and other people would do. You sound just like my sister, making excuses for rudeness when really, there are none. You honestly have nothing of value to add here and you've made your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having btdt with the whole low minute thing (needing to leave enough so that my kids could get a hold of me if they needed to), it's possible that she came across abrupt and rude. When really what she was saying was the truth - "I want to talk to you, but I can't talk long on this phone because it's about to go dead". When she got to a phone that she could call you from, YOU ignored her call because you "don't like drama".

Honestly, you sound like a bit of a pill yourself. Sorry.

I don't think you read carefully. The OP offered to call her sister at home, and when the sister said she wasn't home, asked her where she was so that she could call her. This caused the sister to take great offense. You shouldn't call people names if you didn't even bother to read their post.

Her sister was probably annoyed (stressed!) that Op, who had basically called to chat, kept asking her questions knowing that her minutes were rapidly disappearing as they spoke. After they hung up, it sounds as though sis replayed the conversation in her head and felt bad about her abruptness - tried to smooth things over "I want to talk to you!" but Op had already gone into sulk mode - Apology not accepted! And all poor sis was trying to do was pick up milk before her kid got out of school...

Now Op is the wronged victim. And sis is a big old meanie. Well - I will be the lone one to say. Nope. Op, you sound high drama. Sorry.

The projection here is amazing. PP is probably suffering from a similar pathology that blinds them what constitutes a normal, civil relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having btdt with the whole low minute thing (needing to leave enough so that my kids could get a hold of me if they needed to), it's possible that she came across abrupt and rude. When really what she was saying was the truth - "I want to talk to you, but I can't talk long on this phone because it's about to go dead". When she got to a phone that she could call you from, YOU ignored her call because you "don't like drama".

Honestly, you sound like a bit of a pill yourself. Sorry.

I don't think you read carefully. The OP offered to call her sister at home, and when the sister said she wasn't home, asked her where she was so that she could call her. This caused the sister to take great offense. You shouldn't call people names if you didn't even bother to read their post.

Her sister was probably annoyed (stressed!) that Op, who had basically called to chat, kept asking her questions knowing that her minutes were rapidly disappearing as they spoke. After they hung up, it sounds as though sis replayed the conversation in her head and felt bad about her abruptness - tried to smooth things over "I want to talk to you!" but Op had already gone into sulk mode - Apology not accepted! And all poor sis was trying to do was pick up milk before her kid got out of school...

Now Op is the wronged victim. And sis is a big old meanie. Well - I will be the lone one to say. Nope. Op, you sound high drama. Sorry.

The sister likely has a lot going on and maybe OP started a conversation wasn't a good choice. OP may be high drama, but jumping to that conclusion without understanding the dynamics of BPD ignores a lot of context. Do you personally have experience with someone with BPD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having btdt with the whole low minute thing (needing to leave enough so that my kids could get a hold of me if they needed to), it's possible that she came across abrupt and rude. When really what she was saying was the truth - "I want to talk to you, but I can't talk long on this phone because it's about to go dead". When she got to a phone that she could call you from, YOU ignored her call because you "don't like drama".

Honestly, you sound like a bit of a pill yourself. Sorry.

I don't think you read carefully. The OP offered to call her sister at home, and when the sister said she wasn't home, asked her where she was so that she could call her. This caused the sister to take great offense. You shouldn't call people names if you didn't even bother to read their post.

Her sister was probably annoyed (stressed!) that Op, who had basically called to chat, kept asking her questions knowing that her minutes were rapidly disappearing as they spoke. After they hung up, it sounds as though sis replayed the conversation in her head and felt bad about her abruptness - tried to smooth things over "I want to talk to you!" but Op had already gone into sulk mode - Apology not accepted! And all poor sis was trying to do was pick up milk before her kid got out of school...

Now Op is the wronged victim. And sis is a big old meanie. Well - I will be the lone one to say. Nope. Op, you sound high drama. Sorry.

You are entitled to your opinion. If my sister was stressed about her minutes, she was under no obligation to answer the phone in the first place. She could have texted to let me know that and asked me to call her at home. That is what someone who values relationships and other people would do. You sound just like my sister, making excuses for rudeness when really, there are none. You honestly have nothing of value to add here and you've made your point.

You called HER out of the blue and you seriously believe that it is her fault that she didn't explain her minute situation in detail beforehand? Most people have btdt with the minute situation. It's not an uncommon thing. And YOU were incredibly rude for making a fed case out of something so..stupid. How dare she answer her own phone. Lady - you need to get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having btdt with the whole low minute thing (needing to leave enough so that my kids could get a hold of me if they needed to), it's possible that she came across abrupt and rude. When really what she was saying was the truth - "I want to talk to you, but I can't talk long on this phone because it's about to go dead". When she got to a phone that she could call you from, YOU ignored her call because you "don't like drama".

Honestly, you sound like a bit of a pill yourself. Sorry.

I don't think you read carefully. The OP offered to call her sister at home, and when the sister said she wasn't home, asked her where she was so that she could call her. This caused the sister to take great offense. You shouldn't call people names if you didn't even bother to read their post.

Her sister was probably annoyed (stressed!) that Op, who had basically called to chat, kept asking her questions knowing that her minutes were rapidly disappearing as they spoke. After they hung up, it sounds as though sis replayed the conversation in her head and felt bad about her abruptness - tried to smooth things over "I want to talk to you!" but Op had already gone into sulk mode - Apology not accepted! And all poor sis was trying to do was pick up milk before her kid got out of school...

Now Op is the wronged victim. And sis is a big old meanie. Well - I will be the lone one to say. Nope. Op, you sound high drama. Sorry.

You are entitled to your opinion. If my sister was stressed about her minutes, she was under no obligation to answer the phone in the first place. She could have texted to let me know that and asked me to call her at home. That is what someone who values relationships and other people would do. You sound just like my sister, making excuses for rudeness when really, there are none. You honestly have nothing of value to add here and you've made your point.

You called HER out of the blue and you seriously believe that it is her fault that she didn't explain her minute situation in detail beforehand? Most people have btdt with the minute situation. It's not an uncommon thing. And YOU were incredibly rude for making a fed case out of something so..stupid. How dare she answer her own phone. Lady - you need to get a grip.

Wow. It's now an offensive thing to call a family member - OUT OF THE BLUE, NO LESS - to ask how they are doing? And it's perfectly acceptable to bite that person's head off if your minutes are low? Amazing. This world is full of really screwy people. OP's sister is obviously in good company.

[Anonymous]

OP, was she like this growing up? What do you think caused her emotional issues? Was your childhood stable? Are you sure you don't have any issues?

[Anonymous]

When someone gets personally invested and offended by a post/question on the internet, you know they're probably someone best to ignore. High drama at bb, and something more seriously mental going on at worst.

OP, your question probably struck a chord with pp who called you a "pill." Just ignore them and their replies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, was she like this growing up? What do you think caused her emotional issues? Was your childhood stable? Are you sure you don't have any issues?

This is not germane to the conversation, which was how others have dealt with people with BPD. Why are you asking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having btdt with the whole low minute thing (needing to leave enough so that my kids could get a hold of me if they needed to), it's possible that she came across abrupt and rude. When really what she was saying was the truth - "I want to talk to you, but I can't talk long on this phone because it's about to go dead". When she got to a phone that she could call you from, YOU ignored her call because you "don't like drama".

Honestly, you sound like a bit of a pill yourself. Sorry.

I don't think you read carefully. The OP offered to call her sister at home, and when the sister said she wasn't home, asked her where she was so that she could call her. This caused the sister to take great offense. You shouldn't call people names if you didn't even bother to read their post.

Her sister was probably annoyed (stressed!) that Op, who had basically called to chat, kept asking her questions knowing that her minutes were rapidly disappearing as they spoke. After they hung up, it sounds as though sis replayed the conversation in her head and felt bad about her abruptness - tried to smooth things over "I want to talk to you!" but Op had already gone into sulk mode - Apology not accepted! And all poor sis was trying to do was pick up milk before her kid got out of school...

Now Op is the wronged victim. And sis is a big old meanie. Well - I will be the lone one to say. Nope. Op, you sound high drama. Sorry.

You are entitled to your opinion. If my sister was stressed about her minutes, she was under no obligation to answer the phone in the first place. She could have texted to let me know that and asked me to call her at home. That is what someone who values relationships and other people would do. You sound just like my sister, making excuses for rudeness when really, there are none. You honestly have nothing of value to add here and you've made your point.

You called HER out of the blue and you seriously believe that it is her fault that she didn't explain her minute situation in detail beforehand? Most people have btdt with the minute situation. It's not an uncommon thing. And YOU were incredibly rude for making a fed case out of something so..stupid. How dare she answer her own phone. Lady - you need to get a grip.

Wow. It's now an offensive thing to call a family member - OUT OF THE BLUE, NO LESS - to ask how they are doing? And it's perfectly acceptable to bite that person's head off if your minutes are low? Amazing. This world is full of really screwy people. OP's sister is obviously in good company.

Good grief. It's fine to call someone out of the blue. But when they say "Hey, I'm low on minutes can you speed it up?" you don't act like you've just been stabbed in the eye with a fork. You realize that your long distance call is draining their minutes and you don't keep yammering on about making arrangements to chat. Especially when you are supposedly calling the person out of concern for THEM. I am the only one who sees this? Wow.

And I was a psych minor in college, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When someone gets personally invested and offended by a post/question on the internet, you know they're probably someone best to ignore. High drama at bb, and something more seriously mental going on at worst.

OP, your question probably struck a chord with pp who called you a "pill." Just ignore them and their replies.

Yep. If you don't agree, support and encourage wrong thinking, you are a bad guy. O.k. There are always two points of view in a conflict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, was she like this growing up? What do you think caused her emotional issues? Was your childhood stable? Are you sure you don't have any issues?

This is not germane to the conversation, which was how others have dealt with people with BPD. Why are you asking?

I am trying to understand how one sibling gets it but not the other.