Anyone have experience with borderline personality disorder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP You seem a bit overly dramatic to me.

If you ever have the bad luck to be forced to interact extensively with a BPD, this smug perspective is going to change. Just a matter of fact.

My sibling has BPD. When she feels 'abandoned' or 'empty' she is desperate to talk to someone close (Family only, crisis line or such would not help).

She will call 30 times a day leaving wailing voicemails, despite the fact we talked already earlier that day and talk several times in the week. BPD has been called a bottomless pit of need, and that fear of abandonment drives extreme behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever had someone with borderline personality, try and draw others into their court? Lie, manipulate, and get others to gang up on you, making you feel like you're the crazy one? Is this typical borderline behavior?

Yes, it's textbook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP You seem a bit overly dramatic to me.

If you ever have the bad luck to be forced to interact extensively with a BPD, this smug perspective is going to change. Just a matter of fact.

My sibling has BPD. When she feels 'abandoned' or 'empty' she is desperate to talk to someone close (Family only, crisis line or such would not help).

She will call 30 times a day leaving wailing voicemails, despite the fact we talked already earlier that day and talk several times in the week. BPD has been called a bottomless pit of need, and that fear of abandonment drives extreme behavior.

This is also typical BPD behavior. DH's ex wife at one point sent more than 700 emails. That's not a typo. More than 700 emails and more than 200 voicemails plus several novella-sized manifestos in the mail. It's like an overwhelming addiction to attention that cannot be filled with ordinary human interaction. Giving more attention doesn't help, and I often wonder if it only makes things worse. We cut her out of our lives completely when the kids became adults. To this day she believes we're simply mean people who don't want to be friends with her. She makes absolutely no connection between her behavior and our reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP You seem a bit overly dramatic to me.

Agreed, but I understand why. I have someone close to me with BPD and dealing with it draining to say the least, but having gone through therapy of my own I have learned that I was guilty of looking for pathology in every interaction with this loved one, or escalating every interaction when it didn't need to be because I was still angry over past wrongs, and was trying to punish them for that.

Yes boundaries are important, but so is realizing that not everything is the illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having btdt with the whole low minute thing (needing to leave enough so that my kids could get a hold of me if they needed to), it's possible that she came across abrupt and rude. When really what she was saying was the truth - "I want to talk to you, but I can't talk long on this phone because it's about to go dead". When she got to a phone that she could call you from, YOU ignored her call because you "don't like drama".

Honestly, you sound like a bit of a pill yourself. Sorry.

I don't think you read carefully. The OP offered to call her sister at home, and when the sister said she wasn't home, asked her where she was so that she could call her. This caused the sister to take great offense. You shouldn't call people names if you didn't even bother to read their post.

Her sister was probably annoyed (stressed!) that Op, who had basically called to chat, kept asking her questions knowing that her minutes were rapidly disappearing as they spoke. After they hung up, it sounds as though sis replayed the conversation in her head and felt bad about her abruptness - tried to smooth things over "I want to talk to you!" but Op had already gone into sulk mode - Apology not accepted! And all poor sis was trying to do was pick up milk before her kid got out of school...

Now Op is the wronged victim. And sis is a big old meanie. Well - I will be the lone one to say. Nope. Op, you sound high drama. Sorry.

You are entitled to your opinion. If my sister was stressed about her minutes, she was under no obligation to answer the phone in the first place. She could have texted to let me know that and asked me to call her at home. That is what someone who values relationships and other people would do. You sound just like my sister, making excuses for rudeness when really, there are none. You honestly have nothing of value to add here and you've made your point.

NP here. The thing is OP, nobody is perfect. Not every fault in your relationship is going to be because of her or her illness. I think everyone has something that sets them off, but if you ignore those triggers it's hardly fair. For example, my mom gets really tense before flying, so I try to be extra patient.

I know this is difficult, but you do seem a bit dramatic about it. Just realize that you will make mistakes too, which will hopefully increase your compassion for her.

Agreed. You were not blameless in this interaction. In fact your entire purpose for the conversation was fishing, and you were bound and determined to be upset with your sister no mater what. YOu want to have your cake and eat it too. You sound so much like my older sister who by the way has a mental disorder.