Shoe, Cars, Purses, and Country Clubs Why Are These Status Symbols So Important?

[Anonymous]

I have never felt this at our private. We have a middle-of-the-road car and I don't wear designer clothes or carry a designer purse. I have a very busy job and so does my husband so we just don't have time to worry about things like this. I can appreciate when others take the time to buy quality products and put that kind of effort into their appearance, I just don't have the time or inclination to do more than look presentably professional on a daily basis. I work in a field that cares more about the quality of your PhD than the quality of your shoes. Maybe I have never noticed it because I know that the other parents are aware of what we do and that we have could easily afford these things if we wanted them. I think that at DC privates, being professionally successful, even when it doesn't put you in the wealthiest income group at the school, removes both the need and the desire to compete with other people over the stuff you buy. I have always felt like I got respect from other parents, at least as much respect and acceptance as I was looking for, and that my kid was seen in the same light.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the focus on dcurbanmom on these status symbols crazy. Why do you care what brand of shoes I wear and the purse I buy or whether I drive a luxury car or if I belong to a CC? We are middle income based on warped private school standards less than 250k per year but close to it. I could make my kids take put loans for college to buy that luxury car and belong to that CC ( we've saved 200k for college)... or keep a high mortgage balance and buy all of this crap to fit in with the parents. What bugs me the most are the wannabees who have no assets (one paycheck away from not being able to pay their mortgage):but flaunt their non-existant wealth and look down on us.

Except that you didn't buy all these things. They did all you did and still have money left over for their status symbols. Have some tolerance and curb your jealousy. They have twice the income that you do. It seems normal to them. Do you buy all of your clothes at a thrift store just because it is cheap? Neither do they. They just have a higher price point. Sorry.

Ever read millionaire next door.

We know a family 10 years older than us who completed a 100k upgrade to her home, expensive car, very showy....a few years later was talking about a mortgage mod because couldn't afford monthly payment.

Second family filed for bankruptcy.

A third snobby family girl is always complaining family has no money but very starus conscience luxury cars, vacations and probably cc member.


Another family ent through bankruptcy due to overspending.

Nice fairy tale. Has not happened in our circle of friends and acquaintances.

thus, it simply can't be real!

[Anonymous]

Beware of people who wear their paychecks. This is doubly true for people who let their kids wear/waste their paychecks.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I think it's all about priorities, and in my opinion, those who flash wealth have their priorities out of whack. Think of all the good you could do with $1,000 other than buying another handbag. [/quote]
+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I think it's all about priorities, and in my opinion, those who flash wealth have their priorities out of whack. Think of all the good you could do with $1,000 other than buying another handbag.

+1

This is all relative. You are on the private school forum. There are more than a few who would tell you to think of all the good you could do with the $35k tuition.
Ever shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joes? Think of all the good you could do with the money you would save if you shopped at Aldi.
Ever buy anything at a major department store? Think of all the good you could do with the money you would save if you shopped exclusively at Walmart.
Every take a vacation anywhere? Think of all the good you could do with the money if you just stayed at home.
The whole premise that anyone can or should define how someone else spends the money they earn is moronic. There will always be someone in the ready to criticize your choices as frivolous.

[Anonymous]

Their is definitely a group of Mom's at my DC's school who care about the bag/clothes/cc connection.

They all seem to find each other and revel each other's purchases and status.

The rest of us have found other friend's. many of whom could afford the stuff but don't care, because they have other qualities that they look for in people they hang out with.

Not sure this is something to get worked up about. Many people at private school have money and will spend it. Not sure why this is an issue for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a problem only at Sidwell as far as I can tell. Maybe GDS too, but never at STA.

Actually, shoes, cars, bags and country club memberships are not at all important at Sidwell; Travel, artwork, a beautiful architect-designed addition, wall of respect -- these are the status symbols.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that this is all in your head. Sure, there are plenty of parents with expensive things and CC memberships. Most of them don't care what you have and don't have. Most of them are just as friendly to the person wearing cheap shoes as to the person in Gucci loafers. And really, you have no way of knowing who can afford their lifestyle and who is living above their means unless they tell you.

I think your concern over these things speak more to your own insecurities than anything else.

+1

[Anonymous]

What is a rashguard ? Hhi of 380k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the focus on dcurbanmom on these status symbols crazy. Why do you care what brand of shoes I wear and the purse I buy or whether I drive a luxury car or if I belong to a CC? We are middle income based on warped private school standards less than 250k per year but close to it. I could make my kids take put loans for college to buy that luxury car and belong to that CC ( we've saved 200k for college)... or keep a high mortgage balance and buy all of this crap to fit in with the parents. What bugs me the most are the wannabees who have no assets (one paycheck away from not being able to pay their mortgage):but flaunt their non-existant wealth and look down on us.

I'm just responding to the last part. The wannabes drive me nuts too. They have no equity in their house and no assets to speak of but drive fancy cars, wear $300 shoes, and carry $1,000 bags. I think these people are just extremely insecure and feel a need to keep up with the Joneses. I prefer financial stability and security over designer bags and kind of laugh to myself at people who waste money on luxuries they cannot afford - we all know who they are.

How do you know they are in this financial position?

[Anonymous]

How do you know they have no assets? There are plenty of people around here who earn in the mid-six to seven figures. These things aren't luxury to them. It's just the way things are.

[Anonymous]

Many people around here have a lot of money and can spend a lot and still have a lot left over. Hope that helps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the focus on dcurbanmom on these status symbols crazy. Why do you care what brand of shoes I wear and the purse I buy or whether I drive a luxury car or if I belong to a CC? We are middle income based on warped private school standards less than 250k per year but close to it. I could make my kids take put loans for college to buy that luxury car and belong to that CC ( we've saved 200k for college)... or keep a high mortgage balance and buy all of this crap to fit in with the parents. What bugs me the most are the wannabees who have no assets (one paycheck away from not being able to pay their mortgage):but flaunt their non-existant wealth and look down on us.

I'm just responding to the last part. The wannabes drive me nuts too. They have no equity in their house and no assets to speak of but drive fancy cars, wear $300 shoes, and carry $1,000 bags. I think these people are just extremely insecure and feel a need to keep up with the Joneses. I prefer financial stability and security over designer bags and kind of laugh to myself at people who waste money on luxuries they cannot afford - we all know who they are.

How do you know they are in this financial position?

Odd, don't know any of these people. Perhaps they live elsewhere?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a problem only at Sidwell as far as I can tell. Maybe GDS too, but never at STA.

Actually, shoes, cars, bags and country club memberships are not at all important at Sidwell; Travel, artwork, a beautiful architect-designed addition, wall of respect -- these are the status symbols.

Same concept, different toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the focus on dcurbanmom on these status symbols crazy. Why do you care what brand of shoes I wear and the purse I buy or whether I drive a luxury car or if I belong to a CC? We are middle income based on warped private school standards less than 250k per year but close to it. I could make my kids take put loans for college to buy that luxury car and belong to that CC ( we've saved 200k for college)... or keep a high mortgage balance and buy all of this crap to fit in with the parents. What bugs me the most are the wannabees who have no assets (one paycheck away from not being able to pay their mortgage):but flaunt their non-existant wealth and look down on us.

Except that you didn't buy all these things. They did all you did and still have money left over for their status symbols. Have some tolerance and curb your jealousy. They have twice the income that you do. It seems normal to them. Do you buy all of your clothes at a thrift store just because it is cheap? Neither do they. They just have a higher price point. Sorry.

Ever read millionaire next door.


We know a family 10 years older than us who completed a 100k upgrade to her home, expensive car, very showy....a few years later was talking about a mortgage mod because couldn't afford monthly payment.

Second family filed for bankruptcy.

A third snobby family girl is always complaining family has no money but very starus conscience luxury cars, vacations and probably cc member.



Another family ent through bankruptcy due to overspending.

Which town? Not DC.