Need outside perspective on a fight with DH

[Anonymous]

Most men I’ve been with are like this and they are effing exhausting. Lacking any self awareness or empathy and if they can find some little meaningless way to assert their authority which getting in an extra jab about how emotional women are and how men think logically then they will argue with you until you walk out. The suck and they are stupid. And the best part is that they are never even correct in these arguments. God forbid a man say he’s curious about the meaning of that song. No, he must assert he knows all, is never wrong, all in a sad coverup of the fact that he hates himself and has transferred that hatred onto you and all women.

God I wish I were a lesbian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men I’ve been with are like this and they are effing exhausting. Lacking any self awareness or empathy and if they can find some little meaningless way to assert their authority which getting in an extra jab about how emotional women are and how men think logically then they will argue with you until you walk out. The suck and they are stupid. And the best part is that they are never even correct in these arguments. God forbid a man say he’s curious about the meaning of that song. No, he must assert he knows all, is never wrong, all in a sad coverup of the fact that he hates himself and has transferred that hatred onto you and all women.

God I wish I were a lesbian.

Some people just weren't made for intelligent conversation, others are. Has nothing to do with male vs female. It's a pity when they marry each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read this as op and her husband both being stubborn asses who dug their heels in on an argument. Just because op is a women doesn’t give her some higher better voice on a misogynist song. You guys have toxicity and both should have dropped this. Shame on you both for bringing your kids into it.

This plus please both of you acknowledge that pop songs have a lot of garbage lyrics no matter what they mean.

My kids know that even though I'll sing along with them to All About that Bass or The Motto that all the lyrics are hot garbage and not to be processed for any kind of meaning.

I do not like to think to deeply about celebrities and their various "positivities". Most of them seem emotionally damaged and they logically are attention seekers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once he made the comment, there was no need to reply other than to say, “good to know.” Why feed the animal?

People don’t always reply perfectly in every situation. OP shouldn’t always have to live on guard that every random interaction with her husband could break out into a fight.

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

You definitely sound annoying OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for your son, op, to not just blindly follow your idiot dh. Impressed with him.

Her son asked Google, he didn’t do anything amazing here like form his own opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH has periods of getting really into the manosphere online, and it will lead to these kinds of arguments. It always kind of throws me because I’m just listening to music or chatting about my day, and I’m caught off guard that it leads to a fight.

I’m so sorry, PP. That’s a disaster in the making. My college age son texted the family group chat about something “funny” Andrew Tate had said online. He was surprised by the instant negative reaction DH and I had. We ended up having a series of good conversations about it, though I’m not sure it sunk in. These idiots are talented at getting their claws into vulnerable boys and men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has periods of getting really into the manosphere online, and it will lead to these kinds of arguments. It always kind of throws me because I’m just listening to music or chatting about my day, and I’m caught off guard that it leads to a fight.

I’m so sorry, PP. That’s a disaster in the making. My college age son texted the family group chat about something “funny” Andrew Tate had said online. He was surprised by the instant negative reaction DH and I had. We ended up having a series of good conversations about it, though I’m not sure it sunk in. These idiots are talented at getting their claws into vulnerable boys and men.

OPs story has nothing to do with the maosphere or Tate or men's rights anything. Why can't you just admit that the pink pony club is a song about being a stripper?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has periods of getting really into the manosphere online, and it will lead to these kinds of arguments. It always kind of throws me because I’m just listening to music or chatting about my day, and I’m caught off guard that it leads to a fight.

I’m so sorry, PP. That’s a disaster in the making. My college age son texted the family group chat about something “funny” Andrew Tate had said online. He was surprised by the instant negative reaction DH and I had. We ended up having a series of good conversations about it, though I’m not sure it sunk in. These idiots are talented at getting their claws into vulnerable boys and men.

OPs story has nothing to do with the maosphere or Tate or men's rights anything. Why can't you just admit that the pink pony club is a song about being a stripper?

Why can’t you just admit you’re a literalist and probably on the spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has periods of getting really into the manosphere online, and it will lead to these kinds of arguments. It always kind of throws me because I’m just listening to music or chatting about my day, and I’m caught off guard that it leads to a fight.

I’m so sorry, PP. That’s a disaster in the making. My college age son texted the family group chat about something “funny” Andrew Tate had said online. He was surprised by the instant negative reaction DH and I had. We ended up having a series of good conversations about it, though I’m not sure it sunk in. These idiots are talented at getting their claws into vulnerable boys and men.

OPs story has nothing to do with the maosphere or Tate or men's rights anything. Why can't you just admit that the pink pony club is a song about being a stripper?

Why can’t you just admit you’re a literalist and probably on the spectrum.

Alternative interpretation of OPs story: Her DH was upset that his wife was playing that song about being a stripper in front of their children because he doesn't want his kids to think its ok. So he criticized it. She realized she was wrong and got defensive. Then she runs to dcum to get validation. As expected, certain dcum posters started blaming men in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Need an outside perspective for a stupid fight I had with DH.

I was playing a song, and DH made a comment about it to basically crap on it. Something to the effect of how "you women" are so confused, that "you claim to not want to be objectified" but then "you like songs that are totally about objectifying women". It led to a disagreement - I disagreed that the song was objectifying - my interpretation was that it was about freedom to be who you wanted to be. He had a completely different take, and said it was about wanting to work as a stripper. I did not agree. He also said he was surprised my relative, who claims to be a "christian" likes the song also.

It led to a heated argument. He went on one of his rants as I call it - he says it is a logical argument. He says he only says this because he deeply sympathizes with the absolute tragedy of women's utter confusion with these toxic messages that they are bombarded with. I said, "thanks for your sympathies - but really, I'M GOOD.". It led to some other B.S. arguments where he was just really trying to prove his point, and start talking circles around me with all of these "logical arguments".

The kids were listening and apparently getting tired of hearing it. My son looked up the meaning of the song and it basically lined up with my interpretation. But DH kept digging deeper to prove me wrong. I said, maybe you should apologize for making judgments about me. He said he wasn't judging me, he was referring to ALL women. Kept rambling on. Eventually acknowledged that I simply had a different interpretation of the song. I said, instead of attacking me with your litany of words, it would just be so much simpler if you just said "I'm sorry". He says "I'm sorry you have the complete wrong idea about what I'm trying to say--You always do this to me, you completely misinterpret my intention and it's really hurtful and offensive that you think so little of me." He started getting really upset.
I said "and you always turn everything around to make yourself the victim". On and on.

So honest opinions welcome. If I was in the wrong, I want to know. If I need to apologize, I will.

Wow this is a doozy for sure. I would be all hot and bothered after this one for sure.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I think arguing over a song’s message for so long…..and especially around your children is a waste of time.

I think you ➕ your husband may have fundamental differences in your belief systems and if it truly bothers you both - - it is best if you debate these differences in private and during your own time.
Integrating it into family time is simply unfair to do around your kids in my opinion.
Good luck 👍🏽 to you both.

[Anonymous]

Yes you need to apologize for playing inappropriate music in front of your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has periods of getting really into the manosphere online, and it will lead to these kinds of arguments. It always kind of throws me because I’m just listening to music or chatting about my day, and I’m caught off guard that it leads to a fight.

I’m so sorry, PP. That’s a disaster in the making. My college age son texted the family group chat about something “funny” Andrew Tate had said online. He was surprised by the instant negative reaction DH and I had. We ended up having a series of good conversations about it, though I’m not sure it sunk in. These idiots are talented at getting their claws into vulnerable boys and men.

OPs story has nothing to do with the maosphere or Tate or men's rights anything. Why can't you just admit that the pink pony club is a song about being a stripper?

Why can’t you just admit you’re a literalist and probably on the spectrum.

Alternative interpretation of OPs story: Her DH was upset that his wife was playing that song about being a stripper in front of their children because he doesn't want his kids to think its ok. So he criticized it. She realized she was wrong and got defensive. Then she runs to dcum to get validation. As expected, certain dcum posters started blaming men in general.

Your alternative interpretation is stupid because no kid is going to listen to those lyrics and get it.

The husband is a dumb sh&t. Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has periods of getting really into the manosphere online, and it will lead to these kinds of arguments. It always kind of throws me because I’m just listening to music or chatting about my day, and I’m caught off guard that it leads to a fight.

I’m so sorry, PP. That’s a disaster in the making. My college age son texted the family group chat about something “funny” Andrew Tate had said online. He was surprised by the instant negative reaction DH and I had. We ended up having a series of good conversations about it, though I’m not sure it sunk in. These idiots are talented at getting their claws into vulnerable boys and men.

OPs story has nothing to do with the maosphere or Tate or men's rights anything. Why can't you just admit that the pink pony club is a song about being a stripper?

Why can’t you just admit you’re a literalist and probably on the spectrum.

Alternative interpretation of OPs story: Her DH was upset that his wife was playing that song about being a stripper in front of their children because he doesn't want his kids to think its ok. So he criticized it. She realized she was wrong and got defensive. Then she runs to dcum to get validation. As expected, certain dcum posters started blaming men in general.

Your alternative interpretation is stupid because no kid is going to listen to those lyrics and get it.

The husband is a dumb sh&t. Deal with it.

That's obviously what actually happened. Can't you read between the lines without seeing your own neuroses?