ASD gaslighting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so exhausting to even be in the same room as DH who was diagnosed ASD a couple of years ago

The Cumulative Effect of ASD Aggravation and Gaslighting
www.nationalautismacademy.com/the-cumulative-effect-of-asd-aggravation-and-gaslighting

Yes it’s a thing.

They “don’t recall” what actually happened, only what they intended to happen.

Alternatively it’s not due to ASD, they really just don’t give two F’s about anything not directly affecting them immediately. And lie about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I feel your pain. My ex hid his symptoms while dating too. Once parenthood came along our marriage became hell. It’s so utterly exhausting to be with someone with ASD. The scars created are real but no one understands. It was horrible for my mental health. I’m so glad to have left him.

How old were your kids when you left?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now swap the “ASD” disability for “Down Syndrome” and hopefully you can see what a close minded jerk you sound like. You are free to divorce if your husband’s disability is too much for you. But ASD presentation isn’t gaslighting. It’s the outcome of neurological, cognitive and social differences. Understand the difference.

Agree.

It doesn’t matter what’s driving all those chronic bad behaviors, bad habits, and gaslighting reactions.

Don’t subject yourself to that verbal and emotional abuse and get out of the toxic relationship. No explanation needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I feel your pain. My ex hid his symptoms while dating too. Once parenthood came along our marriage became hell. It’s so utterly exhausting to be with someone with ASD. The scars created are real but no one understands. It was horrible for my mental health. I’m so glad to have left him.

Again not how autism works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now swap the “ASD” disability for “Down Syndrome” and hopefully you can see what a close minded jerk you sound like. You are free to divorce if your husband’s disability is too much for you. But ASD presentation isn’t gaslighting. It’s the outcome of neurological, cognitive and social differences. Understand the difference.

Yea, no. My xH was ASD+ADHD, and there was always a million excuses from him and his various therapists why he couldn’t function.

I eventually kicked him out and surprise, he was able to manage just fine when there were real consequences like “you’ll be evicted if you don’t pay rent on time” and “you’ll starve if you don’t remember to get groceries”.

Remember, one of the most effective treatments for ASD is ABA, which is about imposing consequences so they learn what the correct behavior is.

Same thing. The second a functional adult is near them, they stop trying. You should see them parentify their daughters of all ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Autism wife just get a divorce.

Exactly. I’m so tired of her crap.

You are not a victim. Truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not common for people with ASD to gaslight. They don’t have the social skills to do it. The hallmark of ASD is difficulty with social communication, so it is likely very challenging to be in a relationship with someone with this diagnosis, but there not often cold calculation or manipulation.

Didn’t do something again? Broke it? Forgot? Made a mess? Didn’t understand? Got overwhelmed and didn’t process anything?

Omit, lie, defect, blame, attack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can someone gaslight when they have trouble lying?

They have trouble knowing and admitting the truth.

Especially if the truth reflects them in a not great light. Or as failing again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not common for people with ASD to gaslight. They don’t have the social skills to do it. The hallmark of ASD is difficulty with social communication, so it is likely very challenging to be in a relationship with someone with this diagnosis, but there not often cold calculation or manipulation.

Didn’t do something again? Broke it? Forgot? Made a mess? Didn’t understand? Got overwhelmed and didn’t process anything?

Omit, lie, defect, blame, attack.

Poor you 🙄🙄🙄

Divorce and set him free!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not common for people with ASD to gaslight. They don’t have the social skills to do it. The hallmark of ASD is difficulty with social communication, so it is likely very challenging to be in a relationship with someone with this diagnosis, but there not often cold calculation or manipulation.

Didn’t do something again? Broke it? Forgot? Made a mess? Didn’t understand? Got overwhelmed and didn’t process anything?

Omit, lie, defect, blame, attack.

I mean, the vignette in the article was clearly showing the mom to be a raging B in denial. her kid had the scissors and knew where they were. If you are getting that crazy about the scissors maybe you are the problem? Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can someone gaslight when they have trouble lying?

They have trouble knowing and admitting the truth.

Especially if the truth reflects them in a not great light. Or as failing again.

Don’t we all?

My kid on the spectrum always tells the truth. The very few times he has lied I’ve felt happy because it is so rare and so NT. He is sensitive and gets upset if he thinks I am mad at it and can perseverate on that.

if what you (borderline lady) believe is that your truth is THE truth and people who won’t “admit the truth” are gaslighting… well that is your issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I feel your pain. My ex hid his symptoms while dating too. Once parenthood came along our marriage became hell. It’s so utterly exhausting to be with someone with ASD. The scars created are real but no one understands. It was horrible for my mental health. I’m so glad to have left him.

Again not how autism works.

How do you know? Why are you so into invalidating others' experience?

I wonder if the ASD deniers are the parents of HF ASD kids and are terrified for their kids when they grow up and try to find partners. I think if you've already identified your ASD DC and are getting them help, they're in really good positions and will be fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not common for people with ASD to gaslight. They don’t have the social skills to do it. The hallmark of ASD is difficulty with social communication, so it is likely very challenging to be in a relationship with someone with this diagnosis, but there not often cold calculation or manipulation.

Didn’t do something again? Broke it? Forgot? Made a mess? Didn’t understand? Got overwhelmed and didn’t process anything?

Omit, lie, defect, blame, attack.

Poor you 🙄🙄🙄

Divorce and set him free!!!

I did.

He lives with his mother and brother again, they all make excuses for each other.’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I feel your pain. My ex hid his symptoms while dating too. Once parenthood came along our marriage became hell. It’s so utterly exhausting to be with someone with ASD. The scars created are real but no one understands. It was horrible for my mental health. I’m so glad to have left him.

Again not how autism works.

How do you know? Why are you so into invalidating others' experience?

I wonder if the ASD deniers are the parents of HF ASD kids and are terrified for their kids when they grow up and try to find partners. I think if you've already identified your ASD DC and are getting them help, they're in really good positions and will be fine

ust because you married an as66le it DOES NOT MEAN HE HAS A DIAGNOSABLE NEUROLOGIACAL DISODER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not common for people with ASD to gaslight. They don’t have the social skills to do it. The hallmark of ASD is difficulty with social communication, so it is likely very challenging to be in a relationship with someone with this diagnosis, but there not often cold calculation or manipulation.

Didn’t do something again? Broke it? Forgot? Made a mess? Didn’t understand? Got overwhelmed and didn’t process anything?

Omit, lie, defect, blame, attack.

Poor you 🙄🙄🙄

Divorce and set him free!!!

I did.

He lives with his mother and brother again, they all make excuses for each other.’

You also married him. I’m positive he is much better off without you.