when there's a super hot young lady in your office

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this gross? Isn’t that why women dress like that? Want guys to look?

Not really, it’s an unfortunate side effect. Men used to say that about when who showed ankle and still do in some places. Women get unwanted sexual attention no matter what they wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look don’t touch

you cant look either.

tough situation. fighting against years of evolution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She knows you’re ogling and she thinks you’re disgusting.

She knows he’s oogling and likes it. Otherwise, why dress for attention if you don’t want and enjoy the attention?

I am sure that other people in the office are not viewing this poor young woman as an attention-seeker. Men who harass ALWAYS blame the woman. This young woman is probably showing up in smart, flattering office attire. The gross middle-aged man is imagining things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She knows you’re ogling and she thinks you’re disgusting.

She knows he’s oogling and likes it. Otherwise, why dress for attention if you don’t want and enjoy the attention?

He said " accentuates" in such a cute way if she had been walking around with her breast's hanging out, he would have said that.

I know what that means. That she wears clothes that fit and maybe have a touch of stretch like modern fabrics do.

Older men give attention to any young woman. That's what's going on, not that she's looking for OP's attention

- someone who wore such loose clothing to work in her 20s (because if they fit, i must want attention) that I was successfully able to hide my first trimester

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She knows you’re ogling and she thinks you’re disgusting.

She knows he’s oogling and likes it. Otherwise, why dress for attention if you don’t want and enjoy the attention?

1. She's probably not wearing a glitter halter top and mini skirt, though. She's wearing office appropriate attire that is flattering and looks good on her because she's young and has a good body. There's a difference. She shouldn't have to wear a burqa to hide her attractiveness. She should be able to look professional but cute, and yes, she should be able to do so in the hope of catching the attention of someone age-appropriate who interests her. There's nothing wrong with that. And it isn't an invitation for old middle-aged men in the office to leer and gape at her, either.

2. You find her attractive. She would look attractive to you in most office-appropriate attire because she is young and beautiful, not because she is intentionally dressing to catch your gaze. Try to control yourself.

3. Again, she is no dressing for your attention! This is clear to everyone but you.

4. I'm the poster who worked in South Asia. Even though women covered, men still groped them, hotted and shrieked obscenities at them in public, and honor killings and assaults happened all the time. The prevailing attitude there was the same as the one you exhibit here: women wouldn't behave the way they do if they didn't want the attention. Those women were NOT inviting the attention, they were simply...existing as women. It's the same thing here. Leave this poor young woman alone. The invitation to ogle that you see is all in your head.

As horrific as this is, we aren't talking about extremes here.

I've had gross and attractive men ogle me at work (when I was in my 20s lol). I don't dress provocatively, at all.

Op, just make sure you don't ogle and make it obvious. That's inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

OP, its so nasty to stare at young women at work. Do you really want to be the gross old man who makes their skin crawl? To her, you are ancient and foul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She knows you’re ogling and she thinks you’re disgusting.

She knows he’s oogling and likes it. Otherwise, why dress for attention if you don’t want and enjoy the attention?

1. She's probably not wearing a glitter halter top and mini skirt, though. She's wearing office appropriate attire that is flattering and looks good on her because she's young and has a good body. There's a difference. She shouldn't have to wear a burqa to hide her attractiveness. She should be able to look professional but cute, and yes, she should be able to do so in the hope of catching the attention of someone age-appropriate who interests her. There's nothing wrong with that. And it isn't an invitation for old middle-aged men in the office to leer and gape at her, either.

2. You find her attractive. She would look attractive to you in most office-appropriate attire because she is young and beautiful, not because she is intentionally dressing to catch your gaze. Try to control yourself.

3. Again, she is no dressing for your attention! This is clear to everyone but you.

4. I'm the poster who worked in South Asia. Even though women covered, men still groped them, hotted and shrieked obscenities at them in public, and honor killings and assaults happened all the time. The prevailing attitude there was the same as the one you exhibit here: women wouldn't behave the way they do if they didn't want the attention. Those women were NOT inviting the attention, they were simply...existing as women. It's the same thing here. Leave this poor young woman alone. The invitation to ogle that you see is all in your head.

100%

I worked jobs in my early 20s where I wore the most unflattering clothes you can imagine and men still commented on my body. If you’re a young woman, you have to go far out of your way to dress in a way that’s not “like that” - even if you wear normal clothes, men will still assume you are dressing for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this gross? Isn’t that why women dress like that? Want guys to look?

Nobody talked about how she's dressing.

She could just be a bombshell genetically, wearing gray turtlenecks and trying to be taken seriously and getting her work done.
I mean, we've all been there. She needs to advance and earn during these years. Leave her alone.

The OP says “who wears accentuating clothes.”

Lecherous men think everything is accentuating and meant for their eyes.

It's not. Quit being a pervert OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do anything different than you would do if you found her very unattractive, or if she were a man. You know this, OP.

This, OP. No matter what she wears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:mid-40s guy here. i strictly adhere to all the sexual harassment training stuff. i would never jeopardize my job with inappropriate behavior.

but man, it is hard not to ogle this extremely hot young lady in my office who wears accentuating clothes.

guys - have you been in this situation? any advice?

She knows what she's doing. Look but don't touch.

Correct. Enjoy the view, in a professional, non-leery way.

[Anonymous]

OP there’s a huge range where you can appreciate her appearance, even as a professional edge (like a killer suit for a meeting), without being gross. Don’t worry, we’re all coming down hard on being gross for behavior that really is gross. It doesn’t mean you’re not supposed to notice or look at her ever. Just don't make it weird by staring or commenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, its so nasty to stare at young women at work. Do you really want to be the gross old man who makes their skin crawl? To her, you are ancient and foul.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look don’t touch

you cant look either.

tough situation. fighting against years of evolution.

No, it’s not tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this gross? Isn’t that why women dress like that? Want guys to look?

No. They don't want gross old men their dad's age to look, actually. Nothing is more disgusting than noticing that stupid-eyed look from an old man who thinks he is being subtle as he sneaks glances at your body.

Women want the men they are interested in to look. In most cases, this is moderately attractive men around their own age. It is rarely the gross old man in the office who posts online about what to do when "there's a super hot young lady" around.

LOL. Mids 40s guy is "gross old man"

Found the angry ugly lady!

To people in their 20s, yes, mid-40s people are gross and old. My mid-40s H is hot AF to me but at 23 I would have found his dad bod and wrinkles pretty gross.

That is just demonstrably false. Literally half of my wife's friends at the age of 28 were sleeping with guys 40-45.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this gross? Isn’t that why women dress like that? Want guys to look?

No. They don't want gross old men their dad's age to look, actually. Nothing is more disgusting than noticing that stupid-eyed look from an old man who thinks he is being subtle as he sneaks glances at your body.

Women want the men they are interested in to look. In most cases, this is moderately attractive men around their own age. It is rarely the gross old man in the office who posts online about what to do when "there's a super hot young lady" around.

LOL. Mids 40s guy is "gross old man"

Found the angry ugly lady!

To people in their 20s, yes, mid-40s people are gross and old. My mid-40s H is hot AF to me but at 23 I would have found his dad bod and wrinkles pretty gross.

That is just demonstrably false. Literally half of my wife's friends at the age of 28 were sleeping with guys 40-45.

Was your wife a sugarbaby?

NONE of my friends at age 28 were dating, sleeping with, or interested in guys in their 40s. These were beautiful, professional young women with Harvard degrees; all are happily married to men within a few years of their age now. I don't know what kind of crowd your wife ran with in those days, but it certainly isn't normal for a group of late 20s women to all be sleeping with men in their 40s in the circles I know.