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when there's a super hot young lady in your office
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Anonymous
🤣 at/with you. Bonobos is great though! Most of my 21 yo son’s wardrobe. |
Anonymous
+1 What a simpleton! |
Anonymous
| Every beautiful woman is aware of her beauty because it defines her. It doesn’t make them shrinking violets. They’re equipped with the brains to deal with it until you do or say something stupid. Don't be stupid, OP. I billed 20+million thanks to my brain and the stupidity of men. 300k by 30 years old + stock equity— dot com💥 |
Anonymous
I'm a guy. And an ugly one at that. |
Anonymous
]
Well said. |
Anonymous
I’m a woman and agree with this. There was an article recently about how the mixing of classes has come to a halt, partly in fault to this mentality. Wealthy businessmen had no problem “picking up” and subsequently marrying the server, assistant, or flight attendant. If you were an attractive female, you probably wouldn’t be lower/middle class for long. That doesn’t happen anymore, people just date in their social status circle because they don’t want to be fired or all over TikTok. |
Anonymous
|
This is such a dumb question. You know how you should behave, so just do that, regardless of her intent.
As you get older, you should think of younger women as you would a younger relative. You can be pleasant, friendly and even a mentor, but tame your lust. Your career depends on it. |
Anonymous
As an older woman who was regularly groped and pinched while a waitress I’m not sad that my own teenage daughters might not have the pleasure of an older man complimenting their breasts while they try to serve him his food. Don’t assume these advances used to be welcome just because the men used to have all the power and zero accountability for their actions. Some of us call this progress. |
Anonymous
I dress up for work because it’s appropriate to do so. I do not seek the approval, conscious or unconscious, of men nor women. I do not GAF what any of the clowns I work with think. I dress well because I like to and because I can. |
Anonymous
Yeah, that's not how it works, though. You don't get to dress for attention and then be selective about the source of the attention. You can be selective about the TYPE of attention (e.g. I want kind compliments, not sexual harassment), but you don't get to filter out "I only want it from people I find attractive". How is that supposed to work? Speaking as a mid-40s man, I was the recipient of unwanted attention from both men and women in my 20s. If it crossed a line, I addressed it. I recognize that's often easier for a man, so I'm not dismissing that element. But there's a very big distinction between being upset about the nature of the attention versus the source. |
Anonymous
Wait what? It’s definitely not fine for the CEO to ogle an employee. This isn’t really complicated. It’s never okay to leer. Don’t compliment or comment on women’s appearance at the office unless you work in HR and there’s a problem. Don’t approach random women to “compliment” them outside of a clear dating context, like a bar. Don’t ask women who work for you (or any inappropriate power dynamic) on dates. So the only real changes here are that you don’t look at anyone in a way that makes them uncomfortable, you keep your thoughts to yourself, and you can’t bang or marry your secretary. I just don’t see how this is a high bar. Women learn rules like this just to not get raped or murdered and yet men absolutely lose it if people might be grossed out by them or if they might have to have a hard conversation with HR. |
Anonymous
In my twenties, I dressed very conservatively at work because I didn't want that kind of attention. I saved it for the weekend. If anything, being attractive was a disadvantage because some men in a male-dominated industry were afraid to work with you. They didn't want to take a reputational risk. The twenty-somethings in our office are basically the same - they wear dress pants with tennis shoes. The girl in OP's office may be attention seeking, but OP should know it's unlikely she's seeking attention from her 40-something colleague unless OP is the CEO. |
Anonymous
It is not fine for the CEO to ogle - if anything, CEOs are most at risk because the power balance is so extreme. But, it is worth noting that the person dressing for attention may be seeking the attention of the CEO. |
Anonymous
| My dad used to tell a story about being hit on at work by a young 20 something. This was several years before he retired and she would wear very revealing clothing and lean into him, bend over in front of him, or have way too much cleavage. She would close the door behind her when she came into his office. He would get up and open it. He eventually reported her to HR when she didn’t take the subtle clues he gave her. Also, my dad was definitely nothing close to “hot”. He had the lifesaver type spare tire around the middle and was balding. I suppose the fact that he was rich and successful made him more attractive to her. She didn’t count on the fact that many men in that generation felt a deep sense of pride, love, and obligation towards their families. He used to chuckle that there was no way he was going to risk everything that was important to him. |
Anonymous
Yuck. Just don't - Your 50-something boss |