Helping neighbor kids onto morning bus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all you hair-trigger people?!

I have always walked or driven my kids to school, but I would not feel put-upon in the least if another parent checked-in every morning. Just send a thumbs up. If you don't go to the bus stop one day, just respond "wasn't there today".

No need to make a grand gesture!!! One day you might need a neighbor's goodwill. I sure did a few times, when I had health issues and needed my neighbors and friends to pick my kids up from school and get them to their activities. What comes around goes around. Replying to a text is such a small gesture you can do for another human being.

I mean really, are you so easily irritated by non-events?!? No wonder this country is so divided on everything, and has a massive panic attack on every single societal concept.

Seriously, chill.

I might have thought this before my neighbor did it to me, but it actually gets to be a lot. For someone where you have a reciprocal relationship of close friends? Cool. For someone who is a casual acquaintance where you suddenly feel responsible for their kid? You can't chill about someone else's kid.

This is the part that you don't seem to get. All the parent is asking is whether the kid got on the bus. It's a yes or no.

Insofar as you are a parent at a bus stop full of kids, you are not more responsible for this kid than any other unaccompanied kid at the bus stop. Personally, I feel equally responsible - in a non-stressful, motherly sort of way - for ALL the kids at the bus stop. So do the other parents at the bus stop. We're all looking out for every kid. It's not a burden at all.

So yes, I can completely chill out at the bus stop. I bring my dog. I chit chat. I keep an eye out. At times I've told the driver to stop, there's a kid running towards us who's late. Nothing about this is stressful.

And you don't seem to understand that favors don't need to be returned instantly. You are building a community. Some of my neighbors who casually employed my tweens/teens for yard work, snow removal and dog sitting were then more than happy to act as references for their college jobs. Stop looking at this in an immediate transactional way. The support you get from your community may take years to come to fruition, but it may be valuable nonetheless.

If that's really all it is, maybe it's fine. Most posters are reading it the way I did - that it's more of a "can you help my kids and make sure they make it," which is not a simple yes or no.

[Anonymous]

This is one of the most depressing posts I've ever seen. It just shows how far people are from the "it takes a village" mentality.

This requires a thumbs up text that would take less than 5 seconds a day. Who cares why the mom can't even come. Spend 5 seconds on a child that is not your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all you hair-trigger people?!

I have always walked or driven my kids to school, but I would not feel put-upon in the least if another parent checked-in every morning. Just send a thumbs up. If you don't go to the bus stop one day, just respond "wasn't there today".

No need to make a grand gesture!!! One day you might need a neighbor's goodwill. I sure did a few times, when I had health issues and needed my neighbors and friends to pick my kids up from school and get them to their activities. What comes around goes around. Replying to a text is such a small gesture you can do for another human being.

I mean really, are you so easily irritated by non-events?!? No wonder this country is so divided on everything, and has a massive panic attack on every single societal concept.

Seriously, chill.

I might have thought this before my neighbor did it to me, but it actually gets to be a lot. For someone where you have a reciprocal relationship of close friends? Cool. For someone who is a casual acquaintance where you suddenly feel responsible for their kid? You can't chill about someone else's kid.

This is the part that you don't seem to get. All the parent is asking is whether the kid got on the bus. It's a yes or no.

Insofar as you are a parent at a bus stop full of kids, you are not more responsible for this kid than any other unaccompanied kid at the bus stop. Personally, I feel equally responsible - in a non-stressful, motherly sort of way - for ALL the kids at the bus stop. So do the other parents at the bus stop. We're all looking out for every kid. It's not a burden at all.

So yes, I can completely chill out at the bus stop. I bring my dog. I chit chat. I keep an eye out. At times I've told the driver to stop, there's a kid running towards us who's late. Nothing about this is stressful.

And you don't seem to understand that favors don't need to be returned instantly. You are building a community. Some of my neighbors who casually employed my tweens/teens for yard work, snow removal and dog sitting were then more than happy to act as references for their college jobs. Stop looking at this in an immediate transactional way. The support you get from your community may take years to come to fruition, but it may be valuable nonetheless.

If that's really all it is, maybe it's fine. Most posters are reading it the way I did - that it's more of a "can you help my kids and make sure they make it," which is not a simple yes or no.

That’s a bizarre take when it’s literally just “did they make it onto the bus” unless you’re holding their hands and handing a backpack to them you’re not helping in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just not respond

Well I would

[Anonymous]

If you really want her to stop then the next time she asks say "I'm not sure -- I was talking to my kids and not paying attention to who is getting on. Sorry!"

Do this once or twice and on other days wait a few hours to reply and then so "sorry just seeing this! got bogged down with work this morning."

You are making yourself useful to her right now. If you resent that then become less useful and she will leave you alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all you hair-trigger people?!

I have always walked or driven my kids to school, but I would not feel put-upon in the least if another parent checked-in every morning. Just send a thumbs up. If you don't go to the bus stop one day, just respond "wasn't there today".

No need to make a grand gesture!!! One day you might need a neighbor's goodwill. I sure did a few times, when I had health issues and needed my neighbors and friends to pick my kids up from school and get them to their activities. What comes around goes around. Replying to a text is such a small gesture you can do for another human being.

I mean really, are you so easily irritated by non-events?!? No wonder this country is so divided on everything, and has a massive panic attack on every single societal concept.

Seriously, chill.

I might have thought this before my neighbor did it to me, but it actually gets to be a lot. For someone where you have a reciprocal relationship of close friends? Cool. For someone who is a casual acquaintance where you suddenly feel responsible for their kid? You can't chill about someone else's kid.

This is the part that you don't seem to get. All the parent is asking is whether the kid got on the bus. It's a yes or no.

Insofar as you are a parent at a bus stop full of kids, you are not more responsible for this kid than any other unaccompanied kid at the bus stop. Personally, I feel equally responsible - in a non-stressful, motherly sort of way - for ALL the kids at the bus stop. So do the other parents at the bus stop. We're all looking out for every kid. It's not a burden at all.

So yes, I can completely chill out at the bus stop. I bring my dog. I chit chat. I keep an eye out. At times I've told the driver to stop, there's a kid running towards us who's late. Nothing about this is stressful.

And you don't seem to understand that favors don't need to be returned instantly. You are building a community. Some of my neighbors who casually employed my tweens/teens for yard work, snow removal and dog sitting were then more than happy to act as references for their college jobs. Stop looking at this in an immediate transactional way. The support you get from your community may take years to come to fruition, but it may be valuable nonetheless.

If that's really all it is, maybe it's fine. Most posters are reading it the way I did - that it's more of a "can you help my kids and make sure they make it," which is not a simple yes or no.

That’s a bizarre take when it’s literally just “did they make it onto the bus” unless you’re holding their hands and handing a backpack to them you’re not helping in any way.

I see it both ways. I don't think the other mom expect OP to help her kid get on the bus (the kid is old enough to do it herself). OP doesnt' technically have to do anything.

But the fact that OP gets this text daily is creating an obligation for OP to pay attention to this child and confirm she got on so she can report back to the mom. I do think this would start to wear on me because I am a fairly vigilant person and if you assign me the task of making sure a kid got on the bus then my brain will make this a task I have to do and I'll be thinking about it before I even get to the bus stop. And then looking for her and then watching her get on and then anticipating the text so I can report. Even if I don't want it to this will become a daily task for me and even though it's a very easy task it would take up mental space and I'd start to wonder why I now have this responsibility.

Like if OP doesn't pay attention to the kid or doesn't text back promptly will the other mom be upset -- that's the real test. The fact that she texts every single day makes it seem like she's relying on OP for this and at some point she needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

Those of you suggesting to change your routine to avoid having to text your neighbor are so unhinged. Im also assuming only have young kids? The parent does not need to walk to the bus stop with a kid that age. Now I understand she also does not need to text her neighbor, but its entirely harmless. She's not asking you to do anything.

If you're not there one day just respond with "sorry i wasnt there". Otherwise what harm comes of responding with "yep!" If you saw their kid get on the bus?

I personally feel the opposite about this, i send my 4th grader to the bus stop alone. He is fine. Another mom with kids the same grade makes a point to tell me "larlo got on the bus ok" if she sees me, and im like "ok cool". I sort of think its just something for neighbors to chat about? Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you suggesting to change your routine to avoid having to text your neighbor are so unhinged. Im also assuming only have young kids? The parent does not need to walk to the bus stop with a kid that age. Now I understand she also does not need to text her neighbor, but its entirely harmless. She's not asking you to do anything.

If you're not there one day just respond with "sorry i wasnt there". Otherwise what harm comes of responding with "yep!" If you saw their kid get on the bus?

I personally feel the opposite about this, i send my 4th grader to the bus stop alone. He is fine. Another mom with kids the same grade makes a point to tell me "larlo got on the bus ok" if she sees me, and im like "ok cool". I sort of think its just something for neighbors to chat about? Not a big deal.

It would also probably take longer for OP to drive her kid to school even once than to reply with a school year's full of thumbs ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all you hair-trigger people?!

I have always walked or driven my kids to school, but I would not feel put-upon in the least if another parent checked-in every morning. Just send a thumbs up. If you don't go to the bus stop one day, just respond "wasn't there today".

No need to make a grand gesture!!! One day you might need a neighbor's goodwill. I sure did a few times, when I had health issues and needed my neighbors and friends to pick my kids up from school and get them to their activities. What comes around goes around. Replying to a text is such a small gesture you can do for another human being.

I mean really, are you so easily irritated by non-events?!? No wonder this country is so divided on everything, and has a massive panic attack on every single societal concept.

Seriously, chill.

I might have thought this before my neighbor did it to me, but it actually gets to be a lot. For someone where you have a reciprocal relationship of close friends? Cool. For someone who is a casual acquaintance where you suddenly feel responsible for their kid? You can't chill about someone else's kid.

This is the part that you don't seem to get. All the parent is asking is whether the kid got on the bus. It's a yes or no.

Insofar as you are a parent at a bus stop full of kids, you are not more responsible for this kid than any other unaccompanied kid at the bus stop. Personally, I feel equally responsible - in a non-stressful, motherly sort of way - for ALL the kids at the bus stop. So do the other parents at the bus stop. We're all looking out for every kid. It's not a burden at all.

So yes, I can completely chill out at the bus stop. I bring my dog. I chit chat. I keep an eye out. At times I've told the driver to stop, there's a kid running towards us who's late. Nothing about this is stressful.

And you don't seem to understand that favors don't need to be returned instantly. You are building a community. Some of my neighbors who casually employed my tweens/teens for yard work, snow removal and dog sitting were then more than happy to act as references for their college jobs. Stop looking at this in an immediate transactional way. The support you get from your community may take years to come to fruition, but it may be valuable nonetheless.

If that's really all it is, maybe it's fine. Most posters are reading it the way I did - that it's more of a "can you help my kids and make sure they make it," which is not a simple yes or no.

How on earth is OP expected to do that? Pick them up from their home and walk them there? OP would have specified, no?

If she sees the kids at the bus stop, all she needs to do is do a visual check of who's getting in. Not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you suggesting to change your routine to avoid having to text your neighbor are so unhinged. Im also assuming only have young kids? The parent does not need to walk to the bus stop with a kid that age. Now I understand she also does not need to text her neighbor, but its entirely harmless. She's not asking you to do anything.

If you're not there one day just respond with "sorry i wasnt there". Otherwise what harm comes of responding with "yep!" If you saw their kid get on the bus?

I personally feel the opposite about this, i send my 4th grader to the bus stop alone. He is fine. Another mom with kids the same grade makes a point to tell me "larlo got on the bus ok" if she sees me, and im like "ok cool". I sort of think its just something for neighbors to chat about? Not a big deal.

I know. As are those who want to respond rudely. If you followed their advice, you'd become the meanest person ever, and be shunned in the neighborhood for the rest of your time there! I'm sure these posters wouldn't even follow their own advice!

What morons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all you hair-trigger people?!

I have always walked or driven my kids to school, but I would not feel put-upon in the least if another parent checked-in every morning. Just send a thumbs up. If you don't go to the bus stop one day, just respond "wasn't there today".

No need to make a grand gesture!!! One day you might need a neighbor's goodwill. I sure did a few times, when I had health issues and needed my neighbors and friends to pick my kids up from school and get them to their activities. What comes around goes around. Replying to a text is such a small gesture you can do for another human being.

I mean really, are you so easily irritated by non-events?!? No wonder this country is so divided on everything, and has a massive panic attack on every single societal concept.

Seriously, chill.

I might have thought this before my neighbor did it to me, but it actually gets to be a lot. For someone where you have a reciprocal relationship of close friends? Cool. For someone who is a casual acquaintance where you suddenly feel responsible for their kid? You can't chill about someone else's kid.

This is the part that you don't seem to get. All the parent is asking is whether the kid got on the bus. It's a yes or no.

Insofar as you are a parent at a bus stop full of kids, you are not more responsible for this kid than any other unaccompanied kid at the bus stop. Personally, I feel equally responsible - in a non-stressful, motherly sort of way - for ALL the kids at the bus stop. So do the other parents at the bus stop. We're all looking out for every kid. It's not a burden at all.

So yes, I can completely chill out at the bus stop. I bring my dog. I chit chat. I keep an eye out. At times I've told the driver to stop, there's a kid running towards us who's late. Nothing about this is stressful.

And you don't seem to understand that favors don't need to be returned instantly. You are building a community. Some of my neighbors who casually employed my tweens/teens for yard work, snow removal and dog sitting were then more than happy to act as references for their college jobs. Stop looking at this in an immediate transactional way. The support you get from your community may take years to come to fruition, but it may be valuable nonetheless.

If that's really all it is, maybe it's fine. Most posters are reading it the way I did - that it's more of a "can you help my kids and make sure they make it," which is not a simple yes or no.

That’s a bizarre take when it’s literally just “did they make it onto the bus” unless you’re holding their hands and handing a backpack to them you’re not helping in any way.

I see it both ways. I don't think the other mom expect OP to help her kid get on the bus (the kid is old enough to do it herself). OP doesnt' technically have to do anything.

But the fact that OP gets this text daily is creating an obligation for OP to pay attention to this child and confirm she got on so she can report back to the mom. I do think this would start to wear on me because I am a fairly vigilant person and if you assign me the task of making sure a kid got on the bus then my brain will make this a task I have to do and I'll be thinking about it before I even get to the bus stop. And then looking for her and then watching her get on and then anticipating the text so I can report. Even if I don't want it to this will become a daily task for me and even though it's a very easy task it would take up mental space and I'd start to wonder why I now have this responsibility.

Like if OP doesn't pay attention to the kid or doesn't text back promptly will the other mom be upset -- that's the real test. The fact that she texts every single day makes it seem like she's relying on OP for this and at some point she needs to stop.

So simply say “the kids are great about getting on the bus going forward I will let you know if there is an issue”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d do a slow fade, taking longer and longer to reply.

If the parent is worried they need to walk kid to the bus themselves or get an air tag or similar.

Or drive your kid to school a coupe of times...sorry was not there today.

This is what I woud do

[Anonymous]

Why in the world can you not just give a thumbs up emoji in response?

I mean, I guess you have a right to be annoyed, but just be a decent human being and spend the (what?) 1-2 seconds to respond? Maybe the other parent has anxiety? Maybe someday you'll need help and this is good karma banking?

The parents on this board are always looking for a reason to be upset. In this case, let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all you hair-trigger people?!

I have always walked or driven my kids to school, but I would not feel put-upon in the least if another parent checked-in every morning. Just send a thumbs up. If you don't go to the bus stop one day, just respond "wasn't there today".

No need to make a grand gesture!!! One day you might need a neighbor's goodwill. I sure did a few times, when I had health issues and needed my neighbors and friends to pick my kids up from school and get them to their activities. What comes around goes around. Replying to a text is such a small gesture you can do for another human being.

I mean really, are you so easily irritated by non-events?!? No wonder this country is so divided on everything, and has a massive panic attack on every single societal concept.

Seriously, chill.

I might have thought this before my neighbor did it to me, but it actually gets to be a lot. For someone where you have a reciprocal relationship of close friends? Cool. For someone who is a casual acquaintance where you suddenly feel responsible for their kid? You can't chill about someone else's kid.

This is the part that you don't seem to get. All the parent is asking is whether the kid got on the bus. It's a yes or no.

Insofar as you are a parent at a bus stop full of kids, you are not more responsible for this kid than any other unaccompanied kid at the bus stop. Personally, I feel equally responsible - in a non-stressful, motherly sort of way - for ALL the kids at the bus stop. So do the other parents at the bus stop. We're all looking out for every kid. It's not a burden at all.

So yes, I can completely chill out at the bus stop. I bring my dog. I chit chat. I keep an eye out. At times I've told the driver to stop, there's a kid running towards us who's late. Nothing about this is stressful.

And you don't seem to understand that favors don't need to be returned instantly. You are building a community. Some of my neighbors who casually employed my tweens/teens for yard work, snow removal and dog sitting were then more than happy to act as references for their college jobs. Stop looking at this in an immediate transactional way. The support you get from your community may take years to come to fruition, but it may be valuable nonetheless.

If that's really all it is, maybe it's fine. Most posters are reading it the way I did - that it's more of a "can you help my kids and make sure they make it," which is not a simple yes or no.

That’s a bizarre take when it’s literally just “did they make it onto the bus” unless you’re holding their hands and handing a backpack to them you’re not helping in any way.

I see it both ways. I don't think the other mom expect OP to help her kid get on the bus (the kid is old enough to do it herself). OP doesnt' technically have to do anything.

But the fact that OP gets this text daily is creating an obligation for OP to pay attention to this child and confirm she got on so she can report back to the mom. I do think this would start to wear on me because I am a fairly vigilant person and if you assign me the task of making sure a kid got on the bus then my brain will make this a task I have to do and I'll be thinking about it before I even get to the bus stop. And then looking for her and then watching her get on and then anticipating the text so I can report. Even if I don't want it to this will become a daily task for me and even though it's a very easy task it would take up mental space and I'd start to wonder why I now have this responsibility.

Like if OP doesn't pay attention to the kid or doesn't text back promptly will the other mom be upset -- that's the real test. The fact that she texts every single day makes it seem like she's relying on OP for this and at some point she needs to stop.

So simply say “the kids are great about getting on the bus going forward I will let you know if there is an issue”

DP. But then you have to watch if there's an issue. Ask the mom if the kid is home sick on days when they're sick. That actually entrenches the obligation and makes it an actual obligation instead of what a different PP was arguing it is, something you can say "I didn't see, sorry!" to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. The child is old enough to go to the bus stop on their own. You are not "doing" anything.

The issue is that answering 1 text every day is burdensome?

The neighbor has found the thread.

Op, I’d employ all of the above. Slow fade, delayed response, I wasn’t paying attention…