Helping neighbor kids onto morning bus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op was just turned into an unpaid morning babysitter.

Except she’s not providing any babysitting services she’s just answering a text.

She’s reporting to her boss that the children are on the bus, watching to make sure they are ok. Daily.

If a friend texts “hi how are you?” do you view it as your duty to respond to your boss immediately about your state of mind at that moment?

I mean I think this is precisely the problem -- the neighbor is never texting "hey how are you" or "how are the kids" or "do you want to carve pumpkins together this year." She's just sending a DAILY text asking OP to report back to the neighbor regarding her kid's daily activities. It's weird.

I think if OP and the neighbor had a friendly back-and-forth type of relationship this wouldn't even register as an obligation to OP. It's the fact that they aren't really friends and the other mom is not being friendly or casual or chill about it. That's what makes it feel like her boss checking to see if she delivered a project to the client.

How do you know what OP’s relationship with the neighbor is? Has OP even responded once since the oP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op was just turned into an unpaid morning babysitter.

Except she’s not providing any babysitting services she’s just answering a text.

She’s reporting to her boss that the children are on the bus, watching to make sure they are ok. Daily.

If a friend texts “hi how are you?” do you view it as your duty to respond to your boss immediately about your state of mind at that moment?

I mean I think this is precisely the problem -- the neighbor is never texting "hey how are you" or "how are the kids" or "do you want to carve pumpkins together this year." She's just sending a DAILY text asking OP to report back to the neighbor regarding her kid's daily activities. It's weird.

I think if OP and the neighbor had a friendly back-and-forth type of relationship this wouldn't even register as an obligation to OP. It's the fact that they aren't really friends and the other mom is not being friendly or casual or chill about it. That's what makes it feel like her boss checking to see if she delivered a project to the client.

How do you know what OP’s relationship with the neighbor is? Has OP even responded once since the oP?

It’s all each poster’s own projection

[Anonymous]

The bus stop is triggering for me. Everyone seemed to think I was a SAHM and would just not come to the bus stop in the afternoon. Then I would have to make phone calls and people would be kind of rude, "it's my ex's turn" or "oh, man, can you just walk them home". I would get phone calls, "I'm running late, please get Larla". And don't even mention half days. Ugh. So I had to drop the bus stop rope. One day I didn't show up because my DD had an appointment and it was utter chaos at the bus stop. Now I have my kid in activities after school. When she does take the bus, I take her from the stop and just walk home without looking back. The other parents got the message. I definitely had to work on my boundaries.

The texting from the mom wouldn't bother me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bus stop is triggering for me. Everyone seemed to think I was a SAHM and would just not come to the bus stop in the afternoon. Then I would have to make phone calls and people would be kind of rude, "it's my ex's turn" or "oh, man, can you just walk them home". I would get phone calls, "I'm running late, please get Larla". And don't even mention half days. Ugh. So I had to drop the bus stop rope. One day I didn't show up because my DD had an appointment and it was utter chaos at the bus stop. Now I have my kid in activities after school. When she does take the bus, I take her from the stop and just walk home without looking back. The other parents got the message. I definitely had to work on my boundaries.

The texting from the mom wouldn't bother me.

Even if you were a SAHM doesn't mean you have to mind everyone at the bus stop. Glad you were able to enact boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bus stop is triggering for me. Everyone seemed to think I was a SAHM and would just not come to the bus stop in the afternoon. Then I would have to make phone calls and people would be kind of rude, "it's my ex's turn" or "oh, man, can you just walk them home". I would get phone calls, "I'm running late, please get Larla". And don't even mention half days. Ugh. So I had to drop the bus stop rope. One day I didn't show up because my DD had an appointment and it was utter chaos at the bus stop. Now I have my kid in activities after school. When she does take the bus, I take her from the stop and just walk home without looking back. The other parents got the message. I definitely had to work on my boundaries.

The texting from the mom wouldn't bother me.

I literally cannot imagine a situation that would equal utter chaos except in your own anxious head. Kids get off the bus and either meet a parent or walk home on their own. That is a very strange community if you getting your kid somehow created others chaos!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why in the world can you not just give a thumbs up emoji in response?

I mean, I guess you have a right to be annoyed, but just be a decent human being and spend the (what?) 1-2 seconds to respond? Maybe the other parent has anxiety? Maybe someday you'll need help and this is good karma banking?

The parents on this board are always looking for a reason to be upset. In this case, let it go.

If they “have anxiety,” they can walk their own kid to the bus stop and watch them get on every damn day

And don’t start writing fanfic like “well, what if they can’t? What if they have CANCER?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you really want her to stop then the next time she asks say "I'm not sure -- I was talking to my kids and not paying attention to who is getting on. Sorry!"

Do this once or twice and on other days wait a few hours to reply and then so "sorry just seeing this! got bogged down with work this morning."

You are making yourself useful to her right now. If you resent that then become less useful and she will leave you alone.

This is good advice. But OP, be prepared to be treated as you are treated. Most go through tough times in life. Maybe you won’t and therefore won’t need help from others, ever.

What “tough times?” Laziness? Entitlement?

[Anonymous]

I don’t want the neighborhood parents to feel responsible for my kid getting on/off the bus. My son is 8 and in 3rd grade. He sometimes has to go to the bus stop himself. He is fine, and I don’t text anyone. However, sometimes a parent will tell me that they will look out for him if I am not there. Although that is nice, I don’t want to put that responsibility on them and tell them thank you but he will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be really annoyed. How lazy and entitled of that other parent! She needs confirmation but can't be bothered to go to the bus stop herself? If there was a specific reason she couldn't come--she's at work, medical issues--that's different and she should first ASK if you can keep on eye on her kid. But just sending your kid on their own and then expecting another parent to make sure the kid gets on the bus without even asking is entitled and lazy.

For the next couple of days, I'd ignore the text for a few hours. Then I'd randomly drive my kids to school a few other days. Maybe she'll get the hint.

You must dislike your neighbors. If you are ever in a bind, please don't reach out to any.

Jesus, you people have abysmal reading comprehension. It’s not a “bind.” It’s E V E R Y D A Y.

[Anonymous]

Does this neighbor have a younger child at home that is sleeping? Husband is deployed? Anything out of the ordinary?

On one hand I would be fine with it. I would expect someone to ask me first if they are texting me every day their DC.

But, I would also be a little anxious thinking I now have responsibility for this child. If they don’t show up one day am I supposed to realize and report it? If DC wakes up sick and doesn’t go to school do I need to let this neighbor know no one is looking out for her child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op was just turned into an unpaid morning babysitter.

Except she’s not providing any babysitting services she’s just answering a text.

She’s reporting to her boss that the children are on the bus, watching to make sure they are ok. Daily.

If a friend texts “hi how are you?” do you view it as your duty to respond to your boss immediately about your state of mind at that moment?

If my friend texted me everyday “hi how are you?” I can tell you that after two weeks I would be annoyed.

But the examples are not the same. The texting mom just wants information from OP, she’s not looking for a connection with OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op was just turned into an unpaid morning babysitter.

Except she’s not providing any babysitting services she’s just answering a text.

She’s reporting to her boss that the children are on the bus, watching to make sure they are ok. Daily.

If a friend texts “hi how are you?” do you view it as your duty to respond to your boss immediately about your state of mind at that moment?

I mean I think this is precisely the problem -- the neighbor is never texting "hey how are you" or "how are the kids" or "do you want to carve pumpkins together this year." She's just sending a DAILY text asking OP to report back to the neighbor regarding her kid's daily activities. It's weird.

I think if OP and the neighbor had a friendly back-and-forth type of relationship this wouldn't even register as an obligation to OP. It's the fact that they aren't really friends and the other mom is not being friendly or casual or chill about it. That's what makes it feel like her boss checking to see if she delivered a project to the client.

How do you know what OP’s relationship with the neighbor is? Has OP even responded once since the oP?

OP doesn't describe this woman as a friend or even one of her kid's friend's mom. Just "neighbor." And the way OP describes the situation makes it appear that this is the only thing the neighbor texts her about and that the texts are pretty matter of fact.

I also do assume they don't have a close or friendly relationship because I bet if they did OP wouldn't really mind this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this neighbor have a younger child at home that is sleeping? Husband is deployed? Anything out of the ordinary?

On one hand I would be fine with it. I would expect someone to ask me first if they are texting me every day their DC.

But, I would also be a little anxious thinking I now have responsibility for this child. If they don’t show up one day am I supposed to realize and report it? If DC wakes up sick and doesn’t go to school do I need to let this neighbor know no one is looking out for her child?

Yeah this is the issue. If there is clarity in expectations like a carpool, that's one thing. But the vague yet daily requests are disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op was just turned into an unpaid morning babysitter.

Except she’s not providing any babysitting services she’s just answering a text.

She’s reporting to her boss that the children are on the bus, watching to make sure they are ok. Daily.

If a friend texts “hi how are you?” do you view it as your duty to respond to your boss immediately about your state of mind at that moment?

I mean I think this is precisely the problem -- the neighbor is never texting "hey how are you" or "how are the kids" or "do you want to carve pumpkins together this year." She's just sending a DAILY text asking OP to report back to the neighbor regarding her kid's daily activities. It's weird.

I think if OP and the neighbor had a friendly back-and-forth type of relationship this wouldn't even register as an obligation to OP. It's the fact that they aren't really friends and the other mom is not being friendly or casual or chill about it. That's what makes it feel like her boss checking to see if she delivered a project to the client.

How do you know what OP’s relationship with the neighbor is? Has OP even responded once since the oP?

OP doesn't describe this woman as a friend or even one of her kid's friend's mom. Just "neighbor." And the way OP describes the situation makes it appear that this is the only thing the neighbor texts her about and that the texts are pretty matter of fact.

I also do assume they don't have a close or friendly relationship because I bet if they did OP wouldn't really mind this.

You seem way more invested than the MIA OP.

[Anonymous]

If this was a neighbor friend or good friend of my child, I would have no problem doing this.

If this was a person I didn’t know well and had no relationship with outside being at the same bus stop, I would be very annoyed and stop responding. Of course I would help out if there was some type of emergency. Bus doesn’t come. Kid missed the bus.