Helping neighbor kids onto morning bus

[Anonymous]

Op was just turned into an unpaid morning babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op was just turned into an unpaid morning babysitter.

She can still decline the offer

[Anonymous]

You should drop your kids off one morning and when she texts write her and say "I dropped the kids off this morning, but I'm sure the school will let you know if she doesn't show up"

[Anonymous]

You're not helping the kid on to the bus. I thought this was going to be like giving the kid a boost onto the bus or something. You're literally just saying yes or no. It's annoying and you can respond with "Hey, just want you to know I may not always be around, but if I notice her not getting on the bus when I am around, I will definitely let you know!" or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be really annoyed. How lazy and entitled of that other parent! She needs confirmation but can't be bothered to go to the bus stop herself? If there was a specific reason she couldn't come--she's at work, medical issues--that's different and she should first ASK if you can keep on eye on her kid. But just sending your kid on their own and then expecting another parent to make sure the kid gets on the bus without even asking is entitled and lazy.

For the next couple of days, I'd ignore the text for a few hours. Then I'd randomly drive my kids to school a few other days. Maybe she'll get the hint.

You must dislike your neighbors. If you are ever in a bind, please don't reach out to any.

[Anonymous]

I am team neighbor here. All of the reasons have already been stated above (youre not actually doing anything, it would be fine if you werent there, it takes 1 second, and helping neighbors is nice). But I will also note that 3rd grade is a good age to start going to the bus stop alone. But the parent may have anxiety and is having a hard time letting their kid build this independence. So her texting you is the "hey my kid is doing this alone and i know she's fine, but could you validate me behind the scenes" type message. I would assume she will drop it soon enough. It makes sense to me that she would text you rather than follow her kid if she is trying to build this next step.

She probably assumed it was no burden to you since you take your kids anyway. And maybe she wants to be friends? Again this doesnt strike me as odd or entitled or lazy.

If the child has no behavior issues, causes no trouble at the stop, and is really fine alone, I would indulge the texts. The only reason I would not is if you observe the3 girl struggling and then I would tell the parent she seems to need more supervision.

[Anonymous]

I would stop responding to the text. It's hectic in the morning - I don't want to add one more thing. What if I don't see the kid in the morning, or if my kid is sick so I am not going to be at the bus stop - now I need to text the neighbor and check in/confirm since the expectation is set.

If neighbor does not trust the child to get on the bus, they need to get an air tag or walk the kid over themselves.

[Anonymous]

If this were a friend I had any kind of relationship with I wouldn't care. I'd even like it-- an excuse to text each other. I'd make it into a joke and create code names for our kids ("The Owl and Nanette have achieved lift off, 10-4").

If this was just a mom I didn't know well and she was texting with no acknowledgement if the situation or that she's being mildly ridiculous (this kid is older and clearly fine) then I'd get irritated and start responding slower and slower or say "sorry I didn't see but I'm sure he's fine" to wean her off using me this way.

The way OP describes it makes it sound like the neighbor has deputized OP has her assistant. It's the tone and persistence (daily) of it that would wear on me.

[Anonymous]

I would respond a few times with you are not sure, you didn’t stay at the bus stop. It’s fine occasionally but if she wants a report every day she needs to take the kids herself!

[Anonymous]

PP here- if this was a good friend I wouldn’t mind if I was going to the bus anyway. But i wouldn’t want to feel responsible for her kid if the bus was running late etc.

[Anonymous]

A daily text from a random neighbor about anything is too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. The child is old enough to go to the bus stop on their own. You are not "doing" anything.

The issue is that answering 1 text every day is burdensome?

I don’t know how to explain this, but while she’s not “doing” anything, she has now been made responsible to watch over those children.

If mom is worried about the kids getting on the bus, then she should stay there rather than put that responsibility on somebody else.

It’s similar to job creep.

I don’t know how to explain this, but that’s all in your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op was just turned into an unpaid morning babysitter.

Except she’s not providing any babysitting services she’s just answering a text.

[Anonymous]

Daily texts going on for weeks and months would drive me bonkers. In the mornings I often have meetings or obligations and the idea of returning a text is just another task that I do not want or need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this were a friend I had any kind of relationship with I wouldn't care. I'd even like it-- an excuse to text each other. I'd make it into a joke and create code names for our kids ("The Owl and Nanette have achieved lift off, 10-4").

If this was just a mom I didn't know well and she was texting with no acknowledgement if the situation or that she's being mildly ridiculous (this kid is older and clearly fine) then I'd get irritated and start responding slower and slower or say "sorry I didn't see but I'm sure he's fine" to wean her off using me this way.

The way OP describes it makes it sound like the neighbor has deputized OP has her assistant. It's the tone and persistence (daily) of it that would wear on me.

+1