Having a baby to cement marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh gosh, no; enjoy this sweet period if you’d life. Why start over? I can’t even imagine.

This.

You said you were good with not having any more kids. I think you are feeling insecure about his family with his first wife growing larger. Focus on making you, your daughter and your new husband a happy family.

[Anonymous]

He will be, what, 70 when any baby born anytime soon is in college? Maybe older, since there is no guarantee you'd get pregnant right away. Does he really want to be in his early 70s with a college kid? Or even his late 60s with a high schooler? Why would you want to be nearly 60 with a high schooler, yourself, OP? Ready to pay for college when DH is already retired and you're close to retirement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I’d also like to say our relationship is amazing. I don’t want a baby because it’s rocky. I’m considering it because we have the same values and I really admire him as a father. I didn’t have that with my first marriage. I think I would enjoy raising a child with him.

Not a good reason. I don't understand how someone 39 years old p, previously married, and a parent can be so immature in thinking. Second;y, his first wife didn't enjoy raising kids with him so much. It's easy to be a great parent when you only see your kids 50 % of the time and given how old his kids are you have seen very little of how he parents. Just no. Don't drag anymore people into this.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea why you would even consider this. The reason it is working is because you don't have the stress of raising a kid.

[Anonymous]

No. His children will resent it because he won't have time to be a good grandparent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I’d also like to say our relationship is amazing. I don’t want a baby because it’s rocky. I’m considering it because we have the same values and I really admire him as a father. I didn’t have that with my first marriage. I think I would enjoy raising a child with him.

there is the selfish part, for one.
But two, your first marriage didnt have that, how are you sure this one will? Your track record of baby daddies isnt great so far.

[Anonymous]

Having babies with your ex didn’t cement your previous marriage. What makes you think it would with this one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP how old are you and your current kids? How old is he? I noticed you said his kids are grown, but are yours?

OP here. I’m 39 and he’s 48. His kids are 26, 23, and 16. I have an 8 year old.

So his eldest will be having their own kids soon, and you want him to have a child the same age as his grandchild? Stop thinking with your ovaries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea why you would even consider this. The reason it is working is because you don't have the stress of raising a kid.

They still have the 8 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea why you would even consider this. The reason it is working is because you don't have the stress of raising a kid.

They still have the 8 year old.

An 8 year old is a lot different than a newborn and toddler. They likely also only have the 8 year old half the time.. Adding a new child won't make things easier.

[Anonymous]

Babies are not superglue.

You sound insecure about the relationship.

Don’t try to replicate your first marriage.
That did not work out anyway, and you are both in different life phases.

[Anonymous]

If your husband is grandpa he is probably thinking more about retirement than attending a preschool parent teacher conference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gross, do not have a child with him when he already has a 26 year old.

If you need to baby trap a man, your relationship is not as strong as you think it is.

Hey idiot, they’re already engaged to get married. It’s impossible to “baby trap” him when he agreed to have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Man I am divorced and have been dating seriously for 9 months now. We both don't want kids. I am praying to God that she doesn't change her mind and be like OP because I'll go right back to the dating scene lol. I have 2 kids. She has 2 kids as well. I have no desire whatsoever for another child NOPE

[Anonymous]

I would want to have another baby simply because I would want at least 2 bio children. You’re at the end of your child bearing years, so whatever you decide, do it quickly.