Feeling Guilty

[Anonymous]

Here are participating schools:

https://home.sreb.org/acm/participating/institutionstates.aspx

A few majors have been removed - University of SC used to offer Sports Management, Hospitality and Risk Management, and no longer do. But there are several sporty flagships on the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lucky you, I guess? I posted this more about me than her. I don’t really see her at Towson (or Maryland if she gets in) as it’s always been her dream to go to school at a large sports school. Maryland just doesn’t have that type of school- the SEC or Big Ten (I know Md is Big 10, but it has a different feel than the Midwest schools). Obviously she will be okay, I was just feeling sad that I can’t give her what she wants.

If she is a good student, there are big sports schools in the south that have very generous aid based purely on grades/test scores. Others can fill in those gaps, my kids were not interested in a big sports school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a lot of money. It’s not that I’m not responsible, I’m extremely into saving. However, after a nasty divorce from a drug addicted loser, I had to pay off a lot of debt that was left for me, pay for rent in Montgomery County, and generally just survive. I’m happy with everything I’ve accomplished BUT feeling so guilty about the limited options my DD has for college. While all her friends are excitedly making plans for next year, mine is in tears that she can’t go to her dream schools.

I recognize that it’s a first world problem and she will still be able to go to an in state college, but I do feel sad that she doesn’t get to live her dream of going out of state to a big rah rah school.

Just needed to vent about my reality. Anyone else dealing with the same?

If your daughter gets to go to Maryland, I'm sure she'll be able to get over her disappointment.

I live in flyover country 10 driving hours away from College Park, and at a recent school board meeting, a young grad who now attends UMD came to speak to the board about how wonderful it was and how many opportunities she had been afforded there. She was recently recognized as a top scholar in her college and that came with a recognition award for her most influential high school teacher. Also a scholarship for a future student to attend UMD. She was truly happy to be attending and to bring back the good word (she had some great internships already). For the ranking-obsessed, I'm sure she could have gone in-state to a higher-ranked school but it didn't have the exact major she wanted.

Does your daughter's local option have the major she wants? This is way more important than rah rah culture.

Also, let's get real about the rah rah partying that goes on around sports games. Good fun can be had in the stands at lots of schools, even if the team's not great. Game weekends are mainly an excuse to get plastered. College students don't even really need sports schedules to pull that off. Partying finds a way.

Make sure your daughter has a plan for what extracurriculars she will join once she gets to college. She should do some activities just in case her roommate or dorm is a dud. Once she gets to know people she should be fine.

If that doesn't work, consider allowing her to transfer for sophomore year and take out student loans. Perhaps you could look into her becoming emancipated if you and her father cannot contribute significantly.

It's a big accomplishment just to parent a kid to 18. Don't beat yourself up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has gotten into several “dream” schools for her- Ohio State, Penn State, and Clemson. Again, I know it’s going to be okay. I was just feeling sad and I guess seeing if anyone else was also feeling that way. Guess not.

So she DID get into dream schools? I’m confused. Why is she upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
UMD is a better school, OP, than these others. Why do you want her at a big sports school? The academics of Penn State, Clemson and Ohio State aren't as good. You sound incredibly entitled and have your priorities completely mixed up!

Ohio State is the top 50 school. I don’t know why everybody on this board tries to talk everybody into thinking that UMD is a great school when it’s decidedly average and don’t get me started on College Park the armpit of Maryland.

Ohio State acceptance rate: 57%
Penn State: 55%
Clemson: 49%

UMD: 44%

You need to get with the times, OP or whoever you are.

So you relying on acceptance rate? You get with the times dinosaur. When people are talking about academic power houses with great sports programs they’re talking about Ohio State for they’re talking about UMD. They’re talking about Penn State before they’re talking about UMD. And if UMD was so great, why are all the kids up here going to schools like Clemson? Because they can get into UMD and don’t want to go -let all the kids from New Jersey continue to pour into UMD.

You’re so grumpy. Do you have indigestion?

Ohio, Penn State, and UMD are all good schools with different strengths.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, OP.

Could she apply to big schools that tend to give merit?

MSU
WVU
ASU
Alabama

UVM—if she doesn’t care about football and is a bit crunchy

[Anonymous]

Why did she apply to OOS schools? If she really wants to go there’s always a way. But I still think she should hold her head up high, because she got accepted to her dream schools and she’s going to prob love the school she does go to. It always works out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
UMD is a better school, OP, than these others. Why do you want her at a big sports school? The academics of Penn State, Clemson and Ohio State aren't as good. You sound incredibly entitled and have your priorities completely mixed up!

Ohio State is the top 50 school. I don’t know why everybody on this board tries to talk everybody into thinking that UMD is a great school when it’s decidedly average and don’t get me started on College Park the armpit of Maryland.

Please explain why you think College Park is the armpit of Maryland. Also, both Ohio State and Maryland are top 50 schools not average schools.

Sorry, new poster who has no dog in this fight, but have you been to College Park? I’ve lived all over the world and it’s the most depressing place I’ve ever seen.

[Anonymous]

OP, hang in there.

There are lot of options that your child can explore.

Admissions for Finnish university (Alto, LUT, Oulu) are open till 17th January. Some nice courses, scholarships that may take care of 100% of the fee, and better quality of education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
UMD is a better school, OP, than these others. Why do you want her at a big sports school? The academics of Penn State, Clemson and Ohio State aren't as good. You sound incredibly entitled and have your priorities completely mixed up!

Ohio State is the top 50 school. I don’t know why everybody on this board tries to talk everybody into thinking that UMD is a great school when it’s decidedly average and don’t get me started on College Park the armpit of Maryland.

Please explain why you think College Park is the armpit of Maryland. Also, both Ohio State and Maryland are top 50 schools not average schools.

Sorry, new poster who has no dog in this fight, but have you been to College Park? I’ve lived all over the world and it’s the most depressing place I’ve ever seen.

UMD campus is very nice and the surrounding area the last 10 years has been built up with lots of restaurants and apartments.

[Anonymous]

College Park is so sketchy. Crime is bad and it’s run down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a lot of money. It’s not that I’m not responsible, I’m extremely into saving. However, after a nasty divorce from a drug addicted loser, I had to pay off a lot of debt that was left for me, pay for rent in Montgomery County, and generally just survive. I’m happy with everything I’ve accomplished BUT feeling so guilty about the limited options my DD has for college. While all her friends are excitedly making plans for next year, mine is in tears that she can’t go to her dream schools.

I recognize that it’s a first world problem and she will still be able to go to an in state college, but I do feel sad that she doesn’t get to live her dream of going out of state to a big rah rah school.

Just needed to vent about my reality. Anyone else dealing with the same?

Parent Plus loans are always an option (even though I’d recommend to avoid them—unless you do the math and can definitely afford it in the future)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a lot of money. It’s not that I’m not responsible, I’m extremely into saving. However, after a nasty divorce from a drug addicted loser, I had to pay off a lot of debt that was left for me, pay for rent in Montgomery County, and generally just survive. I’m happy with everything I’ve accomplished BUT feeling so guilty about the limited options my DD has for college. While all her friends are excitedly making plans for next year, mine is in tears that she can’t go to her dream schools.

I recognize that it’s a first world problem and she will still be able to go to an in state college, but I do feel sad that she doesn’t get to live her dream of going out of state to a big rah rah school.

Just needed to vent about my reality. Anyone else dealing with the same?

It's important to take pride in your achievements and instill in children the importance of financial responsibility. While we've saved enough for our kids to attend any university of their choice, our daughter recognizes the significance of not spending full tuition on an out-of-state. She is determined to pursue an out-of-state option only if she secures substantial scholarships.

[Anonymous]

College Park is not only dangerous but also a dump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Slap some sense into her (metaphorically speaking). Most kids don't go to their dream schools, either because they can't afford to, or because they don't get accepted. They TALK about going to their dream school. That's different.

Slap some sense into yourself. UMD is a great option. Other state schools will give her a solid education. There is no deprivation or sense of failure anywhere in this scenario.

It sounds like you both carry a chip on your shoulder regarding the divorce and possibly decreased socioeconomic status. You both have to work on yourselves. And please never contribute to developing a sense of injustice or grievance in your kid.

What you should be worrying about is whether she's going to get accepted. I know kids with 4.2 wGPAs and multiple AP, etc, who were rejected.

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