Bicycling Boyfriend

[Anonymous]

I don’t have kids; if I did, my answer would be different.

I paddleboard and am presently working toward 100 miles this year. I live on the ocean so my paddle time is largely dictated by tide schedules, wind, etc. My boyfriend is supportive, but I’m constantly going out for 2-3 hours at odd/disruptive times of the day. Boyfriend has recently started booking tee times for my paddle times (I usually know my plans 3 days in advance), which takes a little longer than my paddles, but also gives me time to stop for coffee on the way home, or hop in the shower, or just have a few minutes at home alone.

Your boyfriend bicycling at 6am on the weekend is far from an issue. You don’t have kids together that he’s abandoning for hours. It’s a consistent early morning activity that you can plan around - ie don’t plan to start something at 8am when you know he’s all yours at 10am.

Leave it alone, let him enjoy it. It’s a healthy outlet that he could just as easily replace with an unhealthy one.

[Anonymous]

One of my deal breakers when I was dating was a guy into road biking. I know my people and that is not my people. There’s something about the sense of entitlement that the majority of road bikers seem to have that is such a turnoff. In my experience that sport attracts type A narcissists. No thank you.

[Anonymous]

You sound controlling. Get a hobby.

[Anonymous]

What do you want to be doing with him before 10 am?

[Anonymous]

Wait to see what happens when he has his first crash and is in the hospital

[Anonymous]

OP my husband got really into cycling during the pandemic. It was great for his mental health and physical health. He definitely has periods where he’s training for an event where he trains as much as your boyfriend, but over the past three years, it’s ebbed and flowed. Some months he’s doing like 15 hours a week, others, especially during the winter, it’s more like 4-5 hours. Now we have a daughter, and he usually does his rides indoors on a trainer after she goes to bed, and wakes up early for long rides on the weekends. Our biggest issue as new parents has been carving out time for our own hobbies and exercise, so we have a pretty strict one for you, one for me policy (ie, if I watch our daughter for so he can go out for a 3 hour ride, he owes me 3 hours of child care so I can exercise, get a coffee, hang out with friends etc.)

[Anonymous]

I’s be more concerned that it’s bicycling. All the male cyclists I see in the DMV are total d*cks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, is he one of those riders who wears the bicycling shirt and shorts? Riding is fine, but don't date him if he is. It always looks affected.

What else is he supposed to wear?

[Anonymous]

Better cycling than sitting around watching football for hours. Because bootball watchers are d*cks. Except that stupid generalization like so many PPs above is stupid.

There are nice cyclists and jerky ones. Just as there are nice gym goers and jerky ones. There are nice couch potatoes and jerky ones. List goes on and one. You can't judge a person by their activity.

OP - is he a good guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 4 hours is fine but chances are it will get longer and longer and then he’ll start traveling to do rides. All well and good BUT fast forward to when you have kids. I have a relative who married a road biker and 25 years later, he’s still going strong. She decided not to have kids (didn’t have a strong desire anyway) knowing he’d never cut back on biking.

+1 All cyclists I know become obsessed and basically abandon their spouse/kids on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Bike with him as a couple.

[Anonymous]

73.6% of adults aged 20 and over are overweight or obese: (2017-2018)

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/obesity-adult-17-18/obesity-adult.htm

OP: you found one of the only 26% who are not obese or overweight, and you want to kick him to the curb over his healthy lifestyle? Seriously ??

Maybe dating a fat man is more your speed, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 4 hours is fine but chances are it will get longer and longer and then he’ll start traveling to do rides. All well and good BUT fast forward to when you have kids. I have a relative who married a road biker and 25 years later, he’s still going strong. She decided not to have kids (didn’t have a strong desire anyway) knowing he’d never cut back on biking.

+1 All cyclists I know become obsessed and basically abandon their spouse/kids on the weekends.

I dont believe this is true at all. I am a mountain biker and your stereotype does not fit anyone I cycle with.

You are just hanging around a bad crowd, some of whom happen to go cycling.

[Anonymous]

Are YOU really up at 6am every saturday and sunday ready to spend quality time with your boyfriend? If not, I fail to see how this even affects you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this different than going to the gym a few days a week?

+1 DH is not a cyclist (irrationally hates them, but that's another thread) but he's a runner, goes to the gym most days and does martial arts twice a week. Anyone who is serious about physical fitness is going to need several hours without their significant other carved out of the schedule, and the way OP's bf is structuring it costs her nothing. You could still go to brunch after he gets back!