Bicycling Boyfriend
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Anonymous
| I’ve been dating this guy for close to two years. Recently, rediscovered cycling and now goes out on rides four days a week, including about 2 hours each Saturday and Sunday. He’s up an out by 6 am and usually done by 10. It’s become a big part of his social life. He was new to the area when we met and didn’t know too many people. I am jealous a bit that he found a physical outlet he really likes, and wish I could also could find such a passion. I don’t know where I’m going with this. Is four hours on a weekend too much? |
Anonymous
| No. It seems pretty reasonable to me. Use that time to do something you enjoy |
Anonymous
| Do you want to bike with him? |
Anonymous
| Sounds like a great catch. If you don’t want him someone else will. You sound a bit needy and suffocating to be honest. Make sure you keep some independence and close friends of your own. |
Anonymous
| He starts his day with you at 10am and you are complaining? He isn’t up at 6am drinking alcoholic or dancing with strippers, he is riding a darn bike. You sound crazy OP. |
Anonymous
| Soon your life will revolve around his hobby. |
Anonymous
|
So he shouldn't have any time for himself or socialize with anyone but you.
Even though you're definitely not up at 6 am and willing to do anything with him that at that time. You're needy and controlling. Your time would be better spent cultivating interests of your own but you won't. |
Anonymous
| He should sit at home and tiptoe around while you sleep in. |
Anonymous
|
That doesn't sound like too much time, unless it is happening when you'd like to be doing other things with him.
Maybe you'd like to take up golf, and can find a league to play in during the same time. Those who play often find it engaging and social in the same way as you describe cycling for him. |
Anonymous
What DH is getting up at 6am, pouring himself a cocktail, and heading to a strip club? |
Anonymous
| How is this different than going to the gym a few days a week? |
Anonymous
|
My friend’s now ex-husband got into evening softball. 4 nights a week.
He would go straight from work to the field and be home by 9pm. They had two kids. That is a problem. Cycling is great. And he will be fit so have fun! |
Anonymous
|
People, OP may be worried she was his starter girlfriend in the area, and now he's going to meet someone else in his cycling group... |
Anonymous
|
Based on my careful internet research, it is fairly common for cyclists to become obsessed to the point of practically abandoning their spouse and kids for their hobby.
If you are contemplating marriage/long-term commitment to this guy, figure out whether you enjoy having lots of time to yourself. I do, but not everyone does. If you are contemplating kids with this guy, have a conversation NOW about how he thinks parenting responsibilities should be shared and how much he plans to adjust his lifestyle to kids. Depending on his answers, think about whether that sounds like a division of labor/time that works for you. I have a time-consuming sport-hobby. So does my spouse. We both indulge our hobby less than we would like because family, and also negotiate so we both get about equal time for our sport-hobby. It works for us, but it took a lot of conversations to get to a good spot and we were both willing to sacrifice some of our lifestyle for our kids/family. |
Anonymous
| All that biking will make him impotent. |