My kid talks to adults too much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Personally, I’m a kid person and I enjoy talking to kids. Moreover, it sounds like he’s old enough to interact intelligently on topics of mutual interest which most people love. I’d rather talk with a kid who is sincerely interested and possibly somewhat knowledgeable about the topic at hand than an adult who doesn’t know or particularly want to know about my area of interest.

Yes, kids (like adults) should respect that others aren’t always interested to converse and aren’t obligated to do so. They should respect social cues that indicate someone is bored or otherwise not interested in conversation. But you’re not detecting those cues either. That indicates that they are fine with the conversation and you may be the only one who has a problem.

I think kids are too often devalued. They may not know as many facts to inform their reasoning, but they are quite capable of reasoning. (Let’s face it, a lot of adults aren’t very well informed either.). In areas of specific interest, kids can become very knowledgeable and have discussions with nuance and depth. I think you should let your child converse with adults (safely, of course), unless you detect a clear indication that they want to extricate themselves from the conversation. Moreover, I think you should put aside your prejudice against children and have more conversations with him. They don’t have to be “kid conversations”. It sounds like he’d be willing and able to talk about any number of subjects. Talk about current events, history, science, politics, philosophy, whatever you find interesting. Just pay attention to his social cues, because he might find certain topics somewhat boring himself. Also, keep it conversational and don’t turn it into a lecture.

Enjoy these moments. Before you know it he’ll be grown and by the time you recognize what an amazing individual he is, he’ll be moving away and building an independent life with fewer opportunities for interaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Personally, I’m a kid person and I enjoy talking to kids. Moreover, it sounds like he’s old enough to interact intelligently on topics of mutual interest which most people love. I’d rather talk with a kid who is sincerely interested and possibly somewhat knowledgeable about the topic at hand than an adult who doesn’t know or particularly want to know about my area of interest.

Yes, kids (like adults) should respect that others aren’t always interested to converse and aren’t obligated to do so. They should respect social cues that indicate someone is bored or otherwise not interested in conversation. But you’re not detecting those cues either. That indicates that they are fine with the conversation and you may be the only one who has a problem.

I think kids are too often devalued. They may not know as many facts to inform their reasoning, but they are quite capable of reasoning. (Let’s face it, a lot of adults aren’t very well informed either.). In areas of specific interest, kids can become very knowledgeable and have discussions with nuance and depth. I think you should let your child converse with adults (safely, of course), unless you detect a clear indication that they want to extricate themselves from the conversation. Moreover, I think you should put aside your prejudice against children and have more conversations with him. They don’t have to be “kid conversations”. It sounds like he’d be willing and able to talk about any number of subjects. Talk about current events, history, science, politics, philosophy, whatever you find interesting. Just pay attention to his social cues, because he might find certain topics somewhat boring himself. Also, keep it conversational and don’t turn it into a lecture.

Enjoy these moments. Before you know it he’ll be grown and by the time you recognize what an amazing individual he is, he’ll be moving away and building an independent life with fewer opportunities for interaction.

+1. Good answer.

My oldest was like this as well. Just a curious kid who lacked the shyness gene. As long as they're not somewhere on the spectrum and can read social cues, it's fine. I think a lot of adults with some kind of speciality, whether flying or geology, would be totally happy talking to some 10 year old who shared the same passions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Personally, I’m a kid person and I enjoy talking to kids. Moreover, it sounds like he’s old enough to interact intelligently on topics of mutual interest which most people love. I’d rather talk with a kid who is sincerely interested and possibly somewhat knowledgeable about the topic at hand than an adult who doesn’t know or particularly want to know about my area of interest.

Yes, kids (like adults) should respect that others aren’t always interested to converse and aren’t obligated to do so. They should respect social cues that indicate someone is bored or otherwise not interested in conversation. But you’re not detecting those cues either. That indicates that they are fine with the conversation and you may be the only one who has a problem.

I think kids are too often devalued. They may not know as many facts to inform their reasoning, but they are quite capable of reasoning. (Let’s face it, a lot of adults aren’t very well informed either.). In areas of specific interest, kids can become very knowledgeable and have discussions with nuance and depth. I think you should let your child converse with adults (safely, of course), unless you detect a clear indication that they want to extricate themselves from the conversation. Moreover, I think you should put aside your prejudice against children and have more conversations with him. They don’t have to be “kid conversations”. It sounds like he’d be willing and able to talk about any number of subjects. Talk about current events, history, science, politics, philosophy, whatever you find interesting. Just pay attention to his social cues, because he might find certain topics somewhat boring himself. Also, keep it conversational and don’t turn it into a lecture.

Enjoy these moments. Before you know it he’ll be grown and by the time you recognize what an amazing individual he is, he’ll be moving away and building an independent life with fewer opportunities for interaction.

+1. Good answer.

My oldest was like this as well. Just a curious kid who lacked the shyness gene. As long as they're not somewhere on the spectrum and can read social cues, it's fine. I think a lot of adults with some kind of speciality, whether flying or geology, would be totally happy talking to some 10 year old who shared the same passions.

Pp what do you mean " as long as they are not somewhere on the spectrum?" That sounds to me as if you don't want any person who has Autism to actively partipate in the world.

[Anonymous]

My kid on the spectrum does this. Honestly it’s the least of my worries. Most adults know how to handle it. If not, I distract him or change the subject. He is learning from experience and direct coaching about conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Personally, I’m a kid person and I enjoy talking to kids. Moreover, it sounds like he’s old enough to interact intelligently on topics of mutual interest which most people love. I’d rather talk with a kid who is sincerely interested and possibly somewhat knowledgeable about the topic at hand than an adult who doesn’t know or particularly want to know about my area of interest.

Yes, kids (like adults) should respect that others aren’t always interested to converse and aren’t obligated to do so. They should respect social cues that indicate someone is bored or otherwise not interested in conversation. But you’re not detecting those cues either. That indicates that they are fine with the conversation and you may be the only one who has a problem.

I think kids are too often devalued. They may not know as many facts to inform their reasoning, but they are quite capable of reasoning. (Let’s face it, a lot of adults aren’t very well informed either.). In areas of specific interest, kids can become very knowledgeable and have discussions with nuance and depth. I think you should let your child converse with adults (safely, of course), unless you detect a clear indication that they want to extricate themselves from the conversation. Moreover, I think you should put aside your prejudice against children and have more conversations with him. They don’t have to be “kid conversations”. It sounds like he’d be willing and able to talk about any number of subjects. Talk about current events, history, science, politics, philosophy, whatever you find interesting. Just pay attention to his social cues, because he might find certain topics somewhat boring himself. Also, keep it conversational and don’t turn it into a lecture.

Enjoy these moments. Before you know it he’ll be grown and by the time you recognize what an amazing individual he is, he’ll be moving away and building an independent life with fewer opportunities for interaction.

+1. Good answer.

My oldest was like this as well. Just a curious kid who lacked the shyness gene. As long as they're not somewhere on the spectrum and can read social cues, it's fine. I think a lot of adults with some kind of speciality, whether flying or geology, would be totally happy talking to some 10 year old who shared the same passions.

FYI the spectrum is a spectrum. A lot of people monologue or have intense “special interests” who are not formally diagnosed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Personally, I’m a kid person and I enjoy talking to kids. Moreover, it sounds like he’s old enough to interact intelligently on topics of mutual interest which most people love. I’d rather talk with a kid who is sincerely interested and possibly somewhat knowledgeable about the topic at hand than an adult who doesn’t know or particularly want to know about my area of interest.

Yes, kids (like adults) should respect that others aren’t always interested to converse and aren’t obligated to do so. They should respect social cues that indicate someone is bored or otherwise not interested in conversation. But you’re not detecting those cues either. That indicates that they are fine with the conversation and you may be the only one who has a problem.

I think kids are too often devalued. They may not know as many facts to inform their reasoning, but they are quite capable of reasoning. (Let’s face it, a lot of adults aren’t very well informed either.). In areas of specific interest, kids can become very knowledgeable and have discussions with nuance and depth. I think you should let your child converse with adults (safely, of course), unless you detect a clear indication that they want to extricate themselves from the conversation. Moreover, I think you should put aside your prejudice against children and have more conversations with him. They don’t have to be “kid conversations”. It sounds like he’d be willing and able to talk about any number of subjects. Talk about current events, history, science, politics, philosophy, whatever you find interesting. Just pay attention to his social cues, because he might find certain topics somewhat boring himself. Also, keep it conversational and don’t turn it into a lecture.

Enjoy these moments. Before you know it he’ll be grown and by the time you recognize what an amazing individual he is, he’ll be moving away and building an independent life with fewer opportunities for interaction.

+1. Good answer.

My oldest was like this as well. Just a curious kid who lacked the shyness gene. As long as they're not somewhere on the spectrum and can read social cues, it's fine. I think a lot of adults with some kind of speciality, whether flying or geology, would be totally happy talking to some 10 year old who shared the same passions.

Pp what do you mean " as long as they are not somewhere on the spectrum?" That sounds to me as if you don't want any person who has Autism to actively partipate in the world.

DP yes that rubbed me the wrong way. My spectrum kid has completely normal conversations on his interests. And also conversations about other things.

[Anonymous]

He sounds great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an adult who can handle myself. I can shut a kid down when I’m done talking to them.

Exactly. Stop worrying so much. If the adults don’t know how to extract themselves from the conversation that’s an issue they need to work on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, he sounds obnoxious. I’ve met a few kids like this.

My oldest loves facts, history, constantly curious, but at 10 would never constantly badger strange adults. In fact he had the social cues and would likely comment how annoying little Jimmy was who wouldn’t shut the hell up.

Your kid sounds like an illiterate brat with no friends.

Was that really necessary, PP? For what it's worth you sound like a nasty piece of work and I doubt you have friends yourself.

OP, when I was a kid I much preferred talking to adults rather than kids my own age. Never had an issue.

Now, I love talking to kids. I wouldn't mind your son one bit. I think you may be overthinking this. As many PP's have said, most adults know how to handle themselves if they are bored/annoyed with a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sure he's not on the spectrum? Are adults engaging in this?

Yes, positive, and yes, they are. Most of the time I never pick up on cues they're bored, but I usually cut him off pretty quick.

And I'll add, sometimes this shows up in things like tours. He'll answer a question that no adult knows the answer to (after politely raising his hand, and he makes sure to only answer one question), and it usually gets a weird look from the tour guide.

That’s a tour guide problem. Asking a hard question on a tour is a non issue. Stop being so worried about what people think. He is apparently a lot more confident than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem overly obsessed with your bright child. Just let him be.

Seems jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Many of them do hate it, op. Of course they do!

Even if it’s a “shared” interest. Say I, a grown up woman, am an avid spelunker. unless I’m teaching your child spelunking I would be happy to exchange two sentences with a 10 year old about spelunking on a plane but beyond that I’d be nodding along and wishing you would get a handle on sir talksalot. Especially if he “knew a lot about it.”

So use your words and tell the kid you’d like to read your book/take a nap/watch a movie.

So many awkward adults, the kid isn’t the issue.

[Anonymous]

You need to step in and shut your kid down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Many of them do hate it, op. Of course they do!

Even if it’s a “shared” interest. Say I, a grown up woman, am an avid spelunker. unless I’m teaching your child spelunking I would be happy to exchange two sentences with a 10 year old about spelunking on a plane but beyond that I’d be nodding along and wishing you would get a handle on sir talksalot. Especially if he “knew a lot about it.”

If you were "an avid spelunker" you would know that caving is the preferred term. You know, like OP's kid probably does.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fair to say that most adults - most, not all - don’t want to spend a lot of time talking with a stranger’s kid. The polite thing for you to do would be to nip this in the bud every time. Don’t let him do it, even if the adult seems interested. Just don’t.

Surely there are other avenues for discussing his interests. Sign him up for clubs. Explore on line opportunities for interactions (safe ones, of course). Just don’t tell yourself that he’s different, smarter, more enjoyable, or whatever else you think he might be and that this justifies your allowing him to talk other adults’ ears off. You may think he’s all of these things, and he very well may be. But to the vast majority of the stranger adults he deals with, after a minute or two he’s just another annoying kid.