My kid talks to adults too much
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Anonymous
| Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice? |
Anonymous
| That certainly raises concerns about reciprocal social communication. I would come up with a guideline until he’s able to more accurately figure out what appropriate convo snd what’s boring-two questions and one comment maybe? Or either have a code word to let him know to pipe down or just say “let the captain drive” or “I think we’ve heard enough about albatrosses, larlo.” You will be doing him a wonderful service to help him get a handle on this sooner rather than later. |
Anonymous
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Ten is still pretty young to pick up on hints. I think you need to tell him to let the kind strangers be each time.
How are his social skills with peers and adults he knows well? |
Anonymous
| His social skills are otherwise great. I really do think he just wants to discuss things he's read with people who get it. Because again, he does drop it when (or before) the adult appears bored. |
Anonymous
| So, he’s you don’t want him talking to any adults because you’d rather he think no one wants to talk to him? |
Anonymous
No, I'd rather him not bother people who don't want to talk to kids. Also, a few friends have commented on his topics of conversation, and I don't want them thinking he's weird. He can talk Minecraft with his peers, and I'd much prefer he do that. |
Anonymous
| But you said adults hate it. Also, for me as an adult to look “done” enough for a 10 year to pick up on it I would have actually felt “done” for much longer and be beside myself with boredom and/or desire to listen to my podcast or do my crossword. |
Anonymous
| He's young to do it on his own, but if you or another adult could go along, he might be a great volunteer in a retirement home. So many wonderful stories along people who have accumulated a lifetime of wisdom. |
Anonymous
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How about an online community that shares his interests? Heavily monitored by you, of course.
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Anonymous
This is a great idea. It’s excellent that he’s not afraid to talk to adults. The next step is learning social cues so he knows when to be quiet. Truly, some adults struggle with this skill so I wouldn’t be too hard on him. |
Anonymous
I mean, I would. |
Anonymous
| You sure he's not on the spectrum? Are adults engaging in this? |
Anonymous
| I love talking with kids. Most adults know how to extricate themselves from a situation if they tire of young energy. |
Anonymous
| He’s 10 not 4- just use your words and tell him he shouldn’t talk so much or monopolize the conversation with his idiosyncratic interests. I suspect part of you finds it adorably precocious and I do get that, but adorably precocious is going to turn into insufferable bloviator if you’re not careful. |
Anonymous
Yes, positive, and yes, they are. Most of the time I never pick up on cues they're bored, but I usually cut him off pretty quick. |