My kid talks to adults too much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sure he's not on the spectrum? Are adults engaging in this?

Yes, positive, and yes, they are. Most of the time I never pick up on cues they're bored, but I usually cut him off pretty quick.

And I'll add, sometimes this shows up in things like tours. He'll answer a question that no adult knows the answer to (after politely raising his hand, and he makes sure to only answer one question), and it usually gets a weird look from the tour guide.

This is utterly bizarre. Not the kid. The parents view of her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

This is literally "Asperger's. "
Yes, autism

No, it’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Fascinating.
You utterly lack insight into how other people perceive children, in general, and your child specifically.

You're projecting your own tolerance for your child's social and precocious nature into other adults.
I would suggest to you that if you had your child tested for autism previously, you do so again in a few years. Bright children slip through even the most skilled evaluator. The brighter they are, the older they must be for the diagnosis to be clear.

This is based more on your lack of social insight than on the child's, since it's hereditary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Fascinating.
You utterly lack insight into how other people perceive children, in general, and your child specifically.

You're projecting your own tolerance for your child's social and precocious nature into other adults.
I would suggest to you that if you had your child tested for autism previously, you do so again in a few years. Bright children slip through even the most skilled evaluator. The brighter they are, the older they must be for the diagnosis to be clear.

This is based more on your lack of social insight than on the child's, since it's hereditary.

No. Kids with big vocabularies and high IQs get diagnosed with ASD constantly.

If the evaluator ruled it out, there’s a reason.

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Fascinating.
You utterly lack insight into how other people perceive children, in general, and your child specifically.

You're projecting your own tolerance for your child's social and precocious nature into other adults.
I would suggest to you that if you had your child tested for autism previously, you do so again in a few years. Bright children slip through even the most skilled evaluator. The brighter they are, the older they must be for the diagnosis to be clear.

This is based more on your lack of social insight than on the child's, since it's hereditary.

No. Kids with big vocabularies and high IQs get diagnosed with ASD constantly.

If the evaluator ruled it out, there’s a reason.

NP

This doesn't make alot of sense. Being hyperlexic and 2e is more likely to be HFA.
But those kids are developmentally appropriate or only alightly delayed at 10.
At 15 it's a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Fascinating.
You utterly lack insight into how other people perceive children, in general, and your child specifically.

You're projecting your own tolerance for your child's social and precocious nature into other adults.
I would suggest to you that if you had your child tested for autism previously, you do so again in a few years. Bright children slip through even the most skilled evaluator. The brighter they are, the older they must be for the diagnosis to be clear.

This is based more on your lack of social insight than on the child's, since it's hereditary.

No. Kids with big vocabularies and high IQs get diagnosed with ASD constantly.

If the evaluator ruled it out, there’s a reason.

NP

This doesn't make alot of sense. Being hyperlexic and 2e is more likely to be HFA.
But those kids are developmentally appropriate or only alightly delayed at 10.
At 15 it's a different story.

+1.

Brighter kids tend to copy developmentally appropriate behavior for much longer before they eventually fall behind their peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

These two seem like opposites to me.

Some people are more social than others. If he's talking to an adult, then stopping when they appear bored or done, then striking up another conversation with another adult, that sounds totally fine? And actually pretty advanced for his age? I do feel like most smart, oldest kids I know go through a phase like this right around 10, but if he's actually watching cues and cutting off when the adult is bored or sending signals he's done, then that all sounds great. And if you're watching from the sidelines thinking "I would hate this"... well that's a you problem.

If, however, the other adults are showing signs that THEY hate it - you can help provide the adult with an opportunity to move on. You can insert yourself and redirect him. Or you can insert an opportunity for that person to step away "I'm sure this man needs to focus on driving the boat" that also gives the boat driver a chance to say "oh, nah, we're on cruise control, here let me show you this lever" or whatever. You should also talk to him about being aware when a person is "trapped" - if you're at a party, it's easier for someone to make excuses and walk over to the snack table, if you're on a plane, the person you're talking to is somewhat trapped and you need to lean more on the side of shutting up.

So which of those bolded options this actually is sounds like a critical difference.

Ok, truthfully, I don't know if they hate it. I'm not a kid person, and I would hate it, so I'm making a lot of assumptions. I mean...don't most adults hate talking to kids? Especially ones who don't act their age?

Fascinating.
You utterly lack insight into how other people perceive children, in general, and your child specifically.

You're projecting your own tolerance for your child's social and precocious nature into other adults.
I would suggest to you that if you had your child tested for autism previously, you do so again in a few years. Bright children slip through even the most skilled evaluator. The brighter they are, the older they must be for the diagnosis to be clear.

This is based more on your lack of social insight than on the child's, since it's hereditary.

No. Kids with big vocabularies and high IQs get diagnosed with ASD constantly.

If the evaluator ruled it out, there’s a reason.

NP

This doesn't make alot of sense. Being hyperlexic and 2e is more likely to be HFA.
But those kids are developmentally appropriate or only alightly delayed at 10.
At 15 it's a different story.

+1.

Brighter kids tend to copy developmentally appropriate behavior for much longer before they eventually fall behind their peers.

This is not at all my experience with my 2E/HFA kid.

[Anonymous]

We know some kids like this. It's a bit annoying. You want to talk to the parents but the kids get in the way, answering the questions that was intended for the adults.
Some of these kids have knowledge but doesn't mean they have life skills. So when you switch the conversations to life skills, they don't know how to engage further. Some of them will ask questions but it tends to be a dead end conversation when you talk about life skills.

Even my son can talk to adults but he knows when to stop...when it gets boring.

[Anonymous]

Even alot of adults don't and can't read social cues.

[Anonymous]

Look, the Oompa Loompas called it right. None of this is the kid’s fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

I haven’t read all the responses but your penultimate sentence is an important one: adults hate it. Not something you suspect or fear, but something you know. Please work with him to fix this. It’s concerning that you know it’s an issue and he’s on a fishing charter and spends most of the time talking to the captain. Considering you know adults hate this, why are you allowing it? Was he not fishing? You know enough to tell him adults want quiet but seem to be incapable of stopping him from incessant chatter - but for an occasional instruction beforehand about how he shouldn’t do this.

Have a secret signal which he knows means stop. Say: 2 more minutes and we wrap up this conversation and go sit down. Throw in a closer: “let’s thank Captain Hook for chatting with us and head back to the front of the boat to check out what’s happening there.”

My friend’s daughter is like this. It IS annoying when adults are trying to have a conversation and we are repeatedly interrupted by her when all other kids are engaged doing something else. You acknowledge it’s annoying - so help put an end to it. Believe it or now, your son NEEDS more socializing with his own peer group.

We prefer small charters...the captain acts as the mate while fishing. So yes, DS is fishing and talking.

You completely ignored everything else that I wrote. Only decided to respond to the one thing that you think helps your position to continue to not intervene. Sounds like you don’t need advice.

I was on a plane without reading glasses, sue me.

Ok so you’re off the plane now and still ignoring everything else I wrote. Good luck to you and your kid.

I was driving home, and to be frank, you bore me. I can 100% say you're wrong.

My sister is autistic. She's middle aged. She has 3 children. She is highly educated. She works in the field of psychology. She's clearly autistic but she lacks the mirror that would ever allow her to recognize this fact. It is abundantly clear to all around her though.

She sounds like a way better person than you.

[Anonymous]

OP, these people are not going to be happy until you declare your child defective in some way and submit to their idea of what will improve him.

If he isn’t suffering, and you aren’t suffering, there is no problem here.

His peers, when he is an adult, will be adults. Adults who don’t post here are, on average, much more tolerant of deviations from social norms than the ones who do. We don’t even require someone to submit a diagnosis before extending the benefit of the doubt.

Good God, what a cesspool this place is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your child been homeschooled? I homeschooled my kids for a year pre-COVID when they were in 5th and 7th. It drive my kids bonkers that so many homeschooled kids were like this. We would go to activities such as to a museum where there was a guide. So many kids wanted to talk over the guide, interrupt the guide, or wanted to comment on what the guide was saying.

Many of the parents never corrected their kids because I got the sense they were proud that they thought their kids were so clever when it was so obvious the guides were getting annoyed and it was taking too long for the guide to say their spiel.

Yes! So many homeschooled kids are like this.

I think it is because they don't have to wait to get called on to answer, they can engage their parent or tutor one on one for hours on the subjects that interests them. I disliked waiting around for my kids that year that I homeschooled them because inevitably I would be looking at something in the museum or asking the guide a quick question and a homeschooled kid would interrupt and want to talk and talk and talk.

Wild that the person who isn't institutionalized and dehumanized is the one who gets pathologized. Worry about the kids in school who are banned from having normal human relationships, not the thriving homeschooler.

Please, I bet you to stop. With every new comment you make (and yes, it’s you), the secondhand embarrassment on your behalf deepens.

That wasn't me, the OP.

I know. I was addressing the PP who is making all the laughably asinine attempted pithy retorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such an overblown thread.

I believe you all are genuinely upset at OP for not reigning in her kid.

On the Teens and Teens forum no less, where the problems run the gamut.

Let the kid talk on. He'll probably figure it out sooner or later with no lasting damage to the adults he comes in contact with.

Reining. Weren’t your kids supposed to be geniuses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

I haven’t read all the responses but your penultimate sentence is an important one: adults hate it. Not something you suspect or fear, but something you know. Please work with him to fix this. It’s concerning that you know it’s an issue and he’s on a fishing charter and spends most of the time talking to the captain. Considering you know adults hate this, why are you allowing it? Was he not fishing? You know enough to tell him adults want quiet but seem to be incapable of stopping him from incessant chatter - but for an occasional instruction beforehand about how he shouldn’t do this.

Have a secret signal which he knows means stop. Say: 2 more minutes and we wrap up this conversation and go sit down. Throw in a closer: “let’s thank Captain Hook for chatting with us and head back to the front of the boat to check out what’s happening there.”

My friend’s daughter is like this. It IS annoying when adults are trying to have a conversation and we are repeatedly interrupted by her when all other kids are engaged doing something else. You acknowledge it’s annoying - so help put an end to it. Believe it or now, your son NEEDS more socializing with his own peer group.

We prefer small charters...the captain acts as the mate while fishing. So yes, DS is fishing and talking.

You completely ignored everything else that I wrote. Only decided to respond to the one thing that you think helps your position to continue to not intervene. Sounds like you don’t need advice.

I was on a plane without reading glasses, sue me.

Ok so you’re off the plane now and still ignoring everything else I wrote. Good luck to you and your kid.

I was driving home, and to be frank, you bore me. I can 100% say you're wrong.

Stop feeding the troll!