Kid separated from classmates at school

[Anonymous]

Talk to the teacher about how he is doing and the plan for reintegration...can he try a short time with others each day and increase or decrease depending on how it's going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, one of the most common adhd accommodations (for a 504 or IEP) is preferred seating- separating them from distractions. So really, the teacher was already trying out an accommodation and it sounds like it is successful.

This. If he does get a diagnosis of ADHD, he can get a 504 Plan which calls for preferential seating. It helped my son a lot. Tell your son that other students need to learn too and he is now sitting in a place where that can happen.

[Anonymous]

Explain to your child that his Teacher is trying to help him concentrate and not be distracted. She is looking for places where he can sit and focus on his school work. His Teacher noticed that he struggles to stay focused when he sits next to his friends and is trying a different location where he can sit and focus on work. He can socialize with his friends at lunch and recess.

Talk to his Teacher and ask what he needs to do to be able to move and work with his friends again. See if she has a plan for helping him get there and review that with him. Help him set goals for his behavior. Does his Teacher have a way that you can help him track good days and not so good days so he can earn a reward? Something that helps set a new behavior pattern?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teacher told us he is listening better now that he is sitting next to her.

But, our son is feeling bad about himself and we are afraid that his self esteem will suffer if he continues to be separated from his classmates for the rest of the school year.

Should I just let this go or try to advocate for him being seated back with his classmates in the new year?

OP assuming your kid has ADHD, if you think that seating your son back with his classmates will solve the bolded problem, you have a lot to learn. Good luck.

CHADD: How Does an ADHD Diagnosis Affect Self-Esteem?
https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/how-does-an-adhd-diagnosis-affect-self-esteem/

Russell Barkley Factsheet: ADHD: making the invisible visible
https://www.russellbarkley.org/factsheets/ADHD_MakingTheInvisibleVisible.pdf

How to ADHD: Am I a Failure?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfYWqPrbgNM

[Anonymous]

My DC is at the same table with a boy shouting constantly and never listen to teachers. Another kid at the same class would also scream and cry. My DC told us she’s so tired and depressed but what can we do? I’m sorry for those kids have ADHD or whatever but why is my child the one suffers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parenting style is destroying kids. He is being disruptive. The natural consequence is that he sits away from the people that are the cause of his disruptions. The fact that you want to prevent that means you likely coddle your kid so much he will always be the nuisance he is now. Instead, let the teacher teach him not to be so that he learns how to keep friends and acquaintances naturally and won’t need his mommy to protect him from the world forever.

Way harsh Tai.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Explain to your child that there are consequences for talking too much. If he doesn't like the consequences he'd better stop talking so much.

This also tell him the teacher is doing this so that he and the other students can both learn, since he currently can't stop talking on his own. Once he learns how to control when he talks, he can sit back with the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is disrupting other kids and impeding their ability to learn. You need to work with your kid and consider an evaluation.

This.

Maybe work with him at home in the behaviors because this is a normal classroom management method. If the teacher doesn’t stop your son from distracting others, the parents will complain to the principal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explain to your child that there are consequences for talking too much. If he doesn't like the consequences he'd better stop talking so much.

This also tell him the teacher is doing this so that he and the other students can both learn, since he currently can't stop talking on his own. Once he learns how to control when he talks, he can sit back with the class.

And if he cannot control himself, this will tell you what you need to know. My son couldn't control himself no matter what. He was diagnosed with ADHD. Even the most consistent parenting and teaching couldn't get him to stop talking. Once he started medication, he was finally able to focus and not be in trouble all of the time. It was a relief to him.

[Anonymous]

This is why teachers are so frustrated and want to quit. A kid talks too much so has to sit by the teacher. Totally normal consequence that works. Teachers have been doing this for years and years.

Crazy parent thinks this is too mean and her snowflake should be allowed to disrupt others because it makes him feel bad when he doesn’t get to do whatever he wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parenting style is destroying kids. He is being disruptive. The natural consequence is that he sits away from the people that are the cause of his disruptions. The fact that you want to prevent that means you likely coddle your kid so much he will always be the nuisance he is now. Instead, let the teacher teach him not to be so that he learns how to keep friends and acquaintances naturally and won’t need his mommy to protect him from the world forever.

No. He has attention issues, and the natural solution to help him stay on focus and keep learning is to provide him focused seating, that is, move his seating away from the distractions (in this case, other kids), which has the added benefit of removing distraction from the other kids too. It's not a punishment or coddling; it is a solution to optimize the learning environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why teachers are so frustrated and want to quit. A kid talks too much so has to sit by the teacher. Totally normal consequence that works. Teachers have been doing this for years and years.

Crazy parent thinks this is too mean and her snowflake should be allowed to disrupt others because it makes him feel bad when he doesn’t get to do whatever he wants.

This right here.

I bet the other parents (and kids) are thankful for this classroom management. Some kids find the disruption really annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explain to your child that there are consequences for talking too much. If he doesn't like the consequences he'd better stop talking so much.

This also tell him the teacher is doing this so that he and the other students can both learn, since he currently can't stop talking on his own. Once he learns how to control when he talks, he can sit back with the class.

Of course, he's not just going to learn this and be able to do it out of the blue, which is why OP needs an evaluation so she can find out the best approach to teaching him how to manage ADHD. The sooner you start the easier his life will be.

[Anonymous]

OP is the perfect example of why modern parents suck. I would be horrified if my child were disruptive to the class and asking the teacher what I could do to help improve this situation. Instead of thinking about the teacher and all of the classmates who have had their learning disturbed, OP is thinking about her son’s feelings only. Maybe if you had disciplined your small prince, which you probably avoided doing out of fear of “crushing his spirit” or some nonsense, the teacher wouldn’t have to discipline for you.

[Anonymous]

He’s feeling bad about himself because he doesn’t want to be in trouble and is bright enough to know he is. My kid with ADHD has really terrible impulse control and feels frustrated with herself when she calls out etc. She specifically is seated close to the teacher to minimize distractions as others have said. I’d emphasize to your son the teacher needs to do what works best for everyone, including him. It’s no different than needing to sit close to the board because you have not gotten glasses yet or whatever. Keep up with the evolution- it’s helpful for kids to be able to put a name to their struggles and it helps you to seek the right kind of professional help.