Kid separated from classmates at school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was me as an unmedicated ADHD kid. It is the teacher’s job to ensure a functional learning environment for the entire class. It is your job to help him reframe the arrangement into a positive and mitigate the harm to his self esteem. You can’t expect the teacher to sacrifice other children’s learning for him. That’s not fair or reasonable to anyone.

That's the whole point of FAPE. He just needs the diagnosis.

An IEP can get the child goals , but does not allow the child to just disrupt others all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was me as an unmedicated ADHD kid. It is the teacher’s job to ensure a functional learning environment for the entire class. It is your job to help him reframe the arrangement into a positive and mitigate the harm to his self esteem. You can’t expect the teacher to sacrifice other children’s learning for him. That’s not fair or reasonable to anyone.

That's the whole point of FAPE. He just needs the diagnosis.

An IEP can get the child goals , but does not allow the child to just disrupt others all day.

lol. For ADHD, that's exactly what it does

[Anonymous]

If my kid was in the class I would be so appreciative of the teacher for doing something to step in and limit the disruptions.

Your kid feels bad bc he knows he did the wrong thing. Impulse control is a learned skill for kids even with a diagnosable issue like adhd. Feeling bad lets him know that he went too far. It’s the way all humans learn it. sometimes the strategy that is used is the student must sit in the front row right near the teacher

[Anonymous]

Tbh, one of the most common adhd accommodations (for a 504 or IEP) is preferred seating- separating them from distractions. So really, the teacher was already trying out an accommodation and it sounds like it is successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was me as an unmedicated ADHD kid. It is the teacher’s job to ensure a functional learning environment for the entire class. It is your job to help him reframe the arrangement into a positive and mitigate the harm to his self esteem. You can’t expect the teacher to sacrifice other children’s learning for him. That’s not fair or reasonable to anyone.

That's the whole point of FAPE. He just needs the diagnosis.

An IEP can get the child goals , but does not allow the child to just disrupt others all day.

lol. For ADHD, that's exactly what it does

DP. In this case, preferential/low-distraction seating will be written in as an accommodation, which would allow the teacher to seat the child in a place that will minimize distraction/disruption to everyone.

Bigger picture, OP, you cannot expect the teacher to allow your child to disrupt the class with impunity. If you get him moved back to his prior seat, he will just get disciplined openly in front of his peers for being disruptive, which will be just as detrimental to his self-esteem. You need to get a handle on why the behavior is happening and how it can be addressed constructively. Your 6 yo is no longer the center of the universe, and you cannot expect him to be.

[Anonymous]

How do you know that this isn’t a short term thing from the teacher? She may hope that he will realize that if he wants to be near his friends he has to follow the classroom rules. Otherwise he can sit by her. My friends and I were talkers in school and our teachers rightfully called us out and took measures to correct us. Not one of our parents took issue with the teacher managing the classroom and reminding us of acceptable behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, one of the most common adhd accommodations (for a 504 or IEP) is preferred seating- separating them from distractions. So really, the teacher was already trying out an accommodation and it sounds like it is successful.

I responded earlier, but just want to second this: my inattentive ADHD son got distracted so easily that he had to be seated away from windows, right in front of the teacher. He was happy with this arrangement, because he hated getting distracted, but couldn't help himself. Even now in 12th grade, on optimal medication for ADHD and not distracted, he still likes to sit up front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, one of the most common adhd accommodations (for a 504 or IEP) is preferred seating- separating them from distractions. So really, the teacher was already trying out an accommodation and it sounds like it is successful.

I responded earlier, but just want to second this: my inattentive ADHD son got distracted so easily that he had to be seated away from windows, right in front of the teacher. He was happy with this arrangement, because he hated getting distracted, but couldn't help himself. Even now in 12th grade, on optimal medication for ADHD and not distracted, he still likes to sit up front.

OP here. Thanks to all of you for your help in putting this in perspective.

We are in the process of getting an eval so we can figure out a solution.

He is a good, kind kid who is a friend to anyone. He is never physical or spiteful to another child. It’s just this inattentiveness that is holding him back and I think making him depressed.

[Anonymous]

Your parenting style is destroying kids. He is being disruptive. The natural consequence is that he sits away from the people that are the cause of his disruptions. The fact that you want to prevent that means you likely coddle your kid so much he will always be the nuisance he is now. Instead, let the teacher teach him not to be so that he learns how to keep friends and acquaintances naturally and won’t need his mommy to protect him from the world forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, one of the most common adhd accommodations (for a 504 or IEP) is preferred seating- separating them from distractions. So really, the teacher was already trying out an accommodation and it sounds like it is successful.

I responded earlier, but just want to second this: my inattentive ADHD son got distracted so easily that he had to be seated away from windows, right in front of the teacher. He was happy with this arrangement, because he hated getting distracted, but couldn't help himself. Even now in 12th grade, on optimal medication for ADHD and not distracted, he still likes to sit up front.

OP here. Thanks to all of you for your help in putting this in perspective.

We are in the process of getting an eval so we can figure out a solution.

He is a good, kind kid who is a friend to anyone. He is never physical or spiteful to another child. It’s just this inattentiveness that is holding him back and I think making him depressed.

Did you think that ADHD automatically means nasty? It doesn't. I wonder how many people who don't have kids with ADHD, or who are only at the beginning of their ADHD journey, secretly think like you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get him an IEP. Once he has one he can't be separate.

This is actually not true at all. Lots of kids with IEP's get pull outs, or push ins that seperate them from their classmates. He'll also, in the future, be put in the same class as all the other kids receiving push in services because it requires fewer aides that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get him an IEP. Once he has one he can't be separate.

An IEP doesn't prevent a teacher from moving a child's seat, unless there is very specific preferential seating (e.g. a kid with right side hearing loss can't be moved to sit next to the left wall, a kid with a vision impairment can't be moved to the back row).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, one of the most common adhd accommodations (for a 504 or IEP) is preferred seating- separating them from distractions. So really, the teacher was already trying out an accommodation and it sounds like it is successful.

I responded earlier, but just want to second this: my inattentive ADHD son got distracted so easily that he had to be seated away from windows, right in front of the teacher. He was happy with this arrangement, because he hated getting distracted, but couldn't help himself. Even now in 12th grade, on optimal medication for ADHD and not distracted, he still likes to sit up front.

OP here. Thanks to all of you for your help in putting this in perspective.

We are in the process of getting an eval so we can figure out a solution.

He is a good, kind kid who is a friend to anyone. He is never physical or spiteful to another child. It’s just this inattentiveness that is holding him back and I think making him depressed.

No, I didn’t. Just adding for context that my son isn’t aggressive toward other children. His teacher is dealing with some children who are.

Did you think that ADHD automatically means nasty? It doesn't. I wonder how many people who don't have kids with ADHD, or who are only at the beginning of their ADHD journey, secretly think like you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my kid was in the class I would be so appreciative of the teacher for doing something to step in and limit the disruptions.

Your kid feels bad bc he knows he did the wrong thing. Impulse control is a learned skill for kids even with a diagnosable issue like adhd. Feeling bad lets him know that he went too far. It’s the way all humans learn it. sometimes the strategy that is used is the student must sit in the front row right near the teacher

This. I have specifically asked that my kid be seated in the front, or away from friends. near the teacher, wherever she will be the least distracted and most focused. She's there to learn, not socialize all day.

[Anonymous]

Explain to your child that there are consequences for talking too much. If he doesn't like the consequences he'd better stop talking so much.