Guest wedding costs and gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

You are selfish and not a good person - 'requiring' guests wear certain colors is stupid and rude. "Noticing" who doesn't give gifts when you EXPLICITLY SAID NO GIFTS makes you a terrible person. Next time you have a made for Instagram cash grab, can you have the common decency to make it domestic.

Right. You want people to follow one rule but ignore the other? How is it awkward to do as you requested?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

This is fake, right?

PP here, not fake. We actually asked for fall colors and specified red, orange, black or grey. A couple people wore navy blue and red but it was fine - all the guests looked great, our photographer complimented everyone on how well they matched. We had about 60% turnout compared to the amount of invites we sent which is pretty good for a destination wedding.

Your guests will never say this to you and in fact they will probably lie and say they had a great time, but the honest truth is that any guest other than the parents of the bride and groom are not pleased to have to deal with a destination wedding. Even the ones who you are absolutely sure are thrilled to have "a vacation built in" will now judge your selfishness. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

This is fake, right?

PP here, not fake. We actually asked for fall colors and specified red, orange, black or grey. A couple people wore navy blue and red but it was fine - all the guests looked great, our photographer complimented everyone on how well they matched. We had about 60% turnout compared to the amount of invites we sent which is pretty good for a destination wedding.

Your guests will never say this to you and in fact they will probably lie and say they had a great time, but the honest truth is that any guest other than the parents of the bride and groom are not pleased to have to deal with a destination wedding. Even the ones who you are absolutely sure are thrilled to have "a vacation built in" will now judge your selfishness. Ask me how I know.

Wow, you guys are a bit crazy. Weddings are for the bride and groom, not you. If PP wanted to have a destination wedding with certain preferences, let them have it without complaining and just don’t go! Obviously they had good turnout so clearly their family is more loving then all you trolls.
Same to OP - just don’t go if you don’t want to.

From a supportive PP who also did destination! So much fun

[Anonymous]

Send only one parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

This is fake, right?

I was invited to a wedding like this. We were not told to wear autumn colors (it was in September), but there was an online style guide on what to wear

[Anonymous]

Stop calculating the expenses spend it this time enjoy it and skip vacation next year to save money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simple answer I did for last two Kooky weddings like this. Only one of us went. The one whose family it is.

When asked I simply said children was not invited and we have no child care. When pressed I would say my Spouse work have come if kids invited or just kid had a game or kid sick.

The folks actually applaud your efforts.

When I went by myself bought cheapest ticket with no seat assigment and cheapest hotel. Even better find someone else going by then selves and split the room.

But give a full wedding gift

+ 1 This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

This is fake, right?

PP here, not fake. We actually asked for fall colors and specified red, orange, black or grey. A couple people wore navy blue and red but it was fine - all the guests looked great, our photographer complimented everyone on how well they matched. We had about 60% turnout compared to the amount of invites we sent which is pretty good for a destination wedding.

So rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

You kept score on who did / didn’t come? You know it was an invitation and not a summons, right?These are your closest family and friends. How gauche.

Also kept score on who gave gifts and speculated about their financial abilities to pony up.

Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this sounds like my own wedding from last month - took place in Europe, blocked hotel for $150/night, no kids allowed, guests had to wear autumn colors. Honestly we told our guests they were not expected to give a gift since it was a destination wedding, but a lot of people did give anyway and we did notice who did and who didn’t give. It was understandable for younger people in their 20s not to give but for older established folks, it was pretty awkward to see.

Unfortunately since it sounds like it’s not a destination wedding and the couple didn’t let you off the hook, I agree that you may as well suck it up and just do a 150$ gift.

This is fake, right?

PP here, not fake. We actually asked for fall colors and specified red, orange, black or grey. A couple people wore navy blue and red but it was fine - all the guests looked great, our photographer complimented everyone on how well they matched. We had about 60% turnout compared to the amount of invites we sent which is pretty good for a destination wedding.

Your guests will never say this to you and in fact they will probably lie and say they had a great time, but the honest truth is that any guest other than the parents of the bride and groom are not pleased to have to deal with a destination wedding. Even the ones who you are absolutely sure are thrilled to have "a vacation built in" will now judge your selfishness. Ask me how I know.

Wow, you guys are a bit crazy. Weddings are for the bride and groom, not you. If PP wanted to have a destination wedding with certain preferences, let them have it without complaining and just don’t go! Obviously they had good turnout so clearly their family is more loving then all you trolls.
Same to OP - just don’t go if you don’t want to.

From a supportive PP who also did destination! So much fun

No. A wedding is a celebration and like any celebration, is for the guests.

The marriage is for the bride and groom.

[Anonymous]

Just buy them a $100 gift off their registry.

[Anonymous]

In 2019 I was invited to an out of town wedding for my cousin’s son. Kids weren’t invited and because our family is small I was expected to go. I flew out (no direct flights) and then drove to the venue. I then headed back to the ripper the same day. I gave a little less because of the travel costs (like $175) but I had my Dh stay home with the kids to save us money. As he’s not as close to my extended family no one cared he didn’t come. My aunt and cousin were glad that I made the effort. Groom and bride didn’t really care and were glad for the gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 2019 I was invited to an out of town wedding for my cousin’s son. Kids weren’t invited and because our family is small I was expected to go. I flew out (no direct flights) and then drove to the venue. I then headed back to the ripper the same day. I gave a little less because of the travel costs (like $175) but I had my Dh stay home with the kids to save us money. As he’s not as close to my extended family no one cared he didn’t come. My aunt and cousin were glad that I made the effort. Groom and bride didn’t really care and were glad for the gift.

Venue not ripper. Don’t know how that autocorrected on my phone like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 2019 I was invited to an out of town wedding for my cousin’s son. Kids weren’t invited and because our family is small I was expected to go. I flew out (no direct flights) and then drove to the venue. I then headed back to the ripper the same day. I gave a little less because of the travel costs (like $175) but I had my Dh stay home with the kids to save us money. As he’s not as close to my extended family no one cared he didn’t come. My aunt and cousin were glad that I made the effort. Groom and bride didn’t really care and were glad for the gift.

This is a good idea. Why not just go alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this is what covid is for. No way would I spend this much money on a wedding. Diestination wedding people are obnoxious. I would pretend I have covid and stay home.

+1. I’d pretend I died and just stay home.