Neighbors who don’t say hi?

[Anonymous]

We have a family like this in our neighborhood. I thought it was just me (I'm a POC, no one else on our little street is), but our neighbor told me last week that they introduced themselves to this family when they first moved in, and they seemed REALLY uncomfortable with the interaction. If the family is out when any of the neighbors are also out, they'll gather the kids and dog, and go into the house. Have NO idea what that's all about.

[Anonymous]

You're not entitled to a "hi."

Your neighbors have no desire to interact with you. That's 100% their right. You can not like it, you can think it's weird, but that doesn't change the fact that they don't owe you a damn thing.

STFU and MYOB.

[Anonymous]

It’s weird. I enjoy visiting places where greeting strangers is a cultural expectation. It’s actually easier for a shy introvert in a place where everyone says hello because it’s clear what you do, and it’s automatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not entitled to a "hi."

Your neighbors have no desire to interact with you. That's 100% their right. You can not like it, you can think it's weird, but that doesn't change the fact that they don't owe you a damn thing.

STFU and MYOB.

Wow, why are you so angry? Do you carry this anger when people just try to say hello to you? That’s a lot of baggie for an inconsequential interaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not entitled to a "hi."

Your neighbors have no desire to interact with you. That's 100% their right. You can not like it, you can think it's weird, but that doesn't change the fact that they don't owe you a damn thing.

STFU and MYOB.

This is such a weird way to go through life. I hope you never need anything from anyone. If you're laying on the street injured I guess I should just step over you since you don't want to have any interaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are weird. I was invisible to my neighbors for more than 5 years, then I got a dog and now everyone is friendly, it is so weird.

Yep. I basically see you as a moving object to avoid crashing into when you're just a neighbor. But if you have a cute, friendly dog you become Kelly, with a dog named Pancake and I will become a lowkey stalker trying to run into you so I can pet Pancake daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not entitled to a "hi."

Your neighbors have no desire to interact with you. That's 100% their right. You can not like it, you can think it's weird, but that doesn't change the fact that they don't owe you a damn thing.

STFU and MYOB.

Wow, why are you so angry? Do you carry this anger when people just try to say hello to you? That’s a lot of baggie for an inconsequential interaction.

Wow, indeed! I read that and really shook my head. Some people are just very angry and honestly really strange about social interactions.

Hi!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not entitled to a "hi."

Your neighbors have no desire to interact with you. That's 100% their right. You can not like it, you can think it's weird, but that doesn't change the fact that they don't owe you a damn thing.

STFU and MYOB.

These are the people who end up dead in their homes alone and no one figures it out until the stench is unbearable. What a life.

[Anonymous]

OP, you say you like saying hi. I can't stand perky people. Also, people who "like saying hi" generally don't just stop at hi. They want to comment on the weather or know how summer is going, or ask about my shoes, or if I saw that house that backs up against mine is for sale. Hi is a gateway drug for you and I don't want to contribute.

I just don't trust you to stop at hi. If I could, I'd say hi back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Different people do different things in different ways. Some people are introverts. Some people have lived in communities where speaking to people that you don’t know — or don’t want to know — is strongly discouraged, and “minding your own business “ is the expectation. Perhaps she finds your insistent behavior
as “bizarre” as you find hers. Why are you so determined to be intrusive? It’s also quite possible that there are specific reasons why this woman is reluctant to interact with you. It’s impossible to tell on an anonymous forum whether this says more about her, more about you, or more about the two of you.
tldr: Please leave this woman alone since she clearly is not interested in your fervent “friendliness. Or, better yet, stay out of her space, wave if you wish, but restrain your expectations — which she really doesn’t have to meet in order to live peacefully and comfortably in the community of your cul de sac.

I say this as someone who speaks to people, but gets that not everybody does this — or wants to.

I am introverted in fact I am extremely introverted but I Will always return a hello and always return a greeting. I don’t think being introverted is a good excuse for being rude.

I would like to hear from other introverted people About their behavior and experiences. I can’t pretend to speak for everybody.

I’ll try this again. I suggested several reasons why someone might not speak — and tried to also make the point that not speaking back to an insistent neighbor is not necessarily rude. If some of you want to assume that “speaking” is somehow a universal practice, that’s fine. Just know that this belief might not be shared.

YMMV, of course. The first neighbor who “spoke” back to me when I moved to a new neighborhood was also the one who followed me muttering “shvartze” —when I refused to comply with her other insistent expectations. I’m more concerned about people like the OP — who can’t simply content herself with a cheerful wave, than I am about the neighbors who just want to live their lives unbadgered.

Again: Different people do different things and have different expectations— and that really is ok.

Characterizing a person who says hello to you or waves at you, which is what the OP described, as "insistent" is bizarre. The OP described a person who can't even be bothered to wave back.

You one time having an obnoxious neighbor does not make this thought process at all normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not entitled to a "hi."

Your neighbors have no desire to interact with you. That's 100% their right. You can not like it, you can think it's weird, but that doesn't change the fact that they don't owe you a damn thing.

STFU and MYOB.

This is such a weird way to go through life. I hope you never need anything from anyone. If you're laying on the street injured I guess I should just step over you since you don't want to have any interaction.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP are you a registered offender or a felon? Or a trump supporter/maga? I wouldn't say hi if you were any of thosw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you a registered offender or a felon? Or a trump supporter/maga? I wouldn't say hi if you were any of thosw

Always the ass who has to make it political.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you a registered offender or a felon? Or a trump supporter/maga? I wouldn't say hi if you were any of thosw

I’m not a maga but you are worse than them by far. No one should say hi to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Different people do different things in different ways. Some people are introverts. Some people have lived in communities where speaking to people that you don’t know — or don’t want to know — is strongly discouraged, and “minding your own business “ is the expectation. Perhaps she finds your insistent behavior
as “bizarre” as you find hers. Why are you so determined to be intrusive? It’s also quite possible that there are specific reasons why this woman is reluctant to interact with you. It’s impossible to tell on an anonymous forum whether this says more about her, more about you, or more about the two of you.
tldr: Please leave this woman alone since she clearly is not interested in your fervent “friendliness. Or, better yet, stay out of her space, wave if you wish, but restrain your expectations — which she really doesn’t have to meet in order to live peacefully and comfortably in the community of your cul de sac.

I say this as someone who speaks to people, but gets that not everybody does this — or wants to.

I am introverted in fact I am extremely introverted but I Will always return a hello and always return a greeting. I don’t think being introverted is a good excuse for being rude.

I would like to hear from other introverted people About their behavior and experiences. I can’t pretend to speak for everybody.

I’ll try this again. I suggested several reasons why someone might not speak — and tried to also make the point that not speaking back to an insistent neighbor is not necessarily rude. If some of you want to assume that “speaking” is somehow a universal practice, that’s fine. Just know that this belief might not be shared.

YMMV, of course. The first neighbor who “spoke” back to me when I moved to a new neighborhood was also the one who followed me muttering “shvartze” —when I refused to comply with her other insistent expectations. I’m more concerned about people like the OP — who can’t simply content herself with a cheerful wave, than I am about the neighbors who just want to live their lives unbadgered.

Again: Different people do different things and have different expectations— and that really is ok.

Characterizing a person who says hello to you or waves at you, which is what the OP described, as "insistent" is bizarre. The OP described a person who can't even be bothered to wave back.

You one time having an obnoxious neighbor does not make this thought process at all normal.

That’s fine. But repeatedly talking to someone you don’t really know, and repeatedly ignoring all of the indications that this person does not want to interact with you in this way is not at all normal or healthy either. Different people are different and that’s ok.