Neighbors who don’t say hi?

[Anonymous]

I will admit that I like saying hi to neighbors. I don’t want to be best friends but we live in a low traffic area. Nodding hello makes this area feel smaller. I recognize that not everyone wants to say to everyone who passes their path, that’s fine.

We have one neighbor who lives in our small cul de sac and still does not want to say hi, even if we are very close physically. This is beyond bizarre to me. I’m not a random person from 3 streets over. We met each other when we moved in and then I would say hi after that and they would reluctantly wave. They will not acknowledge at all if someone else doesn’t initiate and even then it’s perfunctory. sometimes they will even ignore that. They have young kids and otherwise seem like regular people. I am still determining if this is particular to me or everyone.

Can someone help me understand the psychology? I really don’t get it and would like to understand. It would make my day worse to be so sour. Or do they tune out other people somehow and that gives them peace? Or do they not like me for some reason?

[Anonymous]

They either Tune everybody out or simply want no communication with neighbors. I don’t think it’s personal some people are just really weird like that. Simply stop saying hi to them.

[Anonymous]

People are weird. I was invisible to my neighbors for more than 5 years, then I got a dog and now everyone is friendly, it is so weird.

[Anonymous]

I think it is a DC thing. Weird people here. I have not lived anywhere else where neighbors are so strained to say hello.

[Anonymous]

We see this in our neighborhood, even among people with dogs, even when we also had a dog, even with other families with kids. I got reamed out on DCUM when I asked about it and people said that expecting a wave was too much. I put it on other people. It's not me, it's you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a DC thing. Weird people here. I have not lived anywhere else where neighbors are so strained to say hello.

People are constantly moving in and leaving here. My SC neighbors would be the same for 20 years. I know someone who rents who has moved three times in five years in this area. You think their neighbors want to get to know every set of new couples in and out?

[Anonymous]

This drives me nuts. I've found hi-saying has declined to almost nothing in the WotP neighborhood I grew up in and it makes me sad and honestly kind of angry. I have been known to stop in the middle of the sidewalk as I'm entering my mom's house and smile and wave until I get an acknowledgment. Don't really give a damn if people think I'm crazy.

In my EotP neighborhood, everbody waves and/or says hi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a DC thing. Weird people here. I have not lived anywhere else where neighbors are so strained to say hello.

People are constantly moving in and leaving here. My SC neighbors would be the same for 20 years. I know someone who rents who has moved three times in five years in this area. You think their neighbors want to get to know every set of new couples in and out?

I don’t want to introduce myself to everyone (ok, I do want to, lol, but I don’t). I just want a wave or smile. If you’re walking in our neighborhood, you live in our neighborhood. There is no cross traffic.

[Anonymous]

Different people do different things in different ways. Some people are introverts. Some people have lived in communities where speaking to people that you don’t know — or don’t want to know — is strongly discouraged, and “minding your own business “ is the expectation. Perhaps she finds your insistent behavior
as “bizarre” as you find hers. Why are you so determined to be intrusive? It’s also quite possible that there are specific reasons why this woman is reluctant to interact with you. It’s impossible to tell on an anonymous forum whether this says more about her, more about you, or more about the two of you.
tldr: Please leave this woman alone since she clearly is not interested in your fervent “friendliness. Or, better yet, stay out of her space, wave if you wish, but restrain your expectations — which she really doesn’t have to meet in order to live peacefully and comfortably in the community of your cul de sac.

I say this as someone who speaks to people, but gets that not everybody does this — or wants to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a DC thing. Weird people here. I have not lived anywhere else where neighbors are so strained to say hello.

It’s less “a DC thing” then a transient transplant thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a DC thing. Weird people here. I have not lived anywhere else where neighbors are so strained to say hello.

I live in DC. This isn't in my neighborhood. My neighbors are for the most part normal and friendly enough.

[Anonymous]

We have new neighbors directly across from us in our little cul de sac. I have tried numerous times to make eye contact and at least wave but they purposely look away or keep their heads down. Think I’ll give up on them now.
But yeah, it’s weird. And I’m as introverted and shy as you can get!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a DC thing. Weird people here. I have not lived anywhere else where neighbors are so strained to say hello.

It’s less “a DC thing” then a transient transplant thing.

I have a neighbor whose wife brought over a gift when we moved in. He has not once looked at us or said hello over the years and even ignored me when I attempted to get his attention one day. He is not a transplant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a DC thing. Weird people here. I have not lived anywhere else where neighbors are so strained to say hello.

You have not lived in Ny or the NE then. They make Washingtonians look nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different people do different things in different ways. Some people are introverts. Some people have lived in communities where speaking to people that you don’t know — or don’t want to know — is strongly discouraged, and “minding your own business “ is the expectation. Perhaps she finds your insistent behavior
as “bizarre” as you find hers. Why are you so determined to be intrusive? It’s also quite possible that there are specific reasons why this woman is reluctant to interact with you. It’s impossible to tell on an anonymous forum whether this says more about her, more about you, or more about the two of you.
tldr: Please leave this woman alone since she clearly is not interested in your fervent “friendliness. Or, better yet, stay out of her space, wave if you wish, but restrain your expectations — which she really doesn’t have to meet in order to live peacefully and comfortably in the community of your cul de sac.

I say this as someone who speaks to people, but gets that not everybody does this — or wants to.

I am introverted in fact I am extremely introverted but I Will always return a hello and always return a greeting. I don’t think being introverted is a good excuse for being rude.

I would like to hear from other introverted people About their behavior and experiences. I can’t pretend to speak for everybody.