No Sleepover Rule?

[Anonymous]

DD's friends are welcome to sleep over, but don't allow her to sleep over. To be honest, she hasn't really enjoyed having her friends sleep here either (she has trouble falling asleep, made worse by friends who fall asleep quicker than she does, then thrash around, talk in their sleep, and then she can't stay asleep).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once we learned of the questionable and unsafe antics happening at sleepovers, we curtailed them. most parents are clueless about what their children are doing (including me). I learned the hard way.

Clearly, I missed out. Sleepovers (boys) were about watching movies, eating junk food, and playing video games until 4am.

Maybe we were a bunch of delinquents but we TP'd people's houses, burned and blew up things, went to shows, and skateboarded until dawn. We're all doctors and lawyers now and didn't cause any real damage but I'd be livid if my kid did the things we did. But for all I know it's so much worse now so I'm glad they're not doing sleep overs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We only instituted one later, like in middle school, for one son because we saw and heard the behavior of his friends and him when they slept over here. Much too wild and it went on all night long. It didn’t seem to hurt his social life.

If my younger ones act like that as teens, sleepovers will all stop. At least at my house. If you are talking about no because I’m worried about other parents, no. We don’t have that. We stopped for a while in the spring of 2020 with covid and don’t allow them if anyone has something important the next day.

+1. We all have no patience for acting like a zombie all the next day.

We’ve don’t them to help out other families, on beach trips or ski trips, visiting family and travel sports. But the kids actually sleep.

[Anonymous]

We have a tiny house, most doors don't close, including our one and only bathroom door. A child would have to be VERY comfortable with us if they wanted to sleep over!

I'm European, and sleepovers weren't a thing when I was growing up. Some people did it, but it wasn't frequent and most families did not.

Here our circle is mostly international, with no sleepovers, but even the Americans we know don't host a lot of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once we learned of the questionable and unsafe antics happening at sleepovers, we curtailed them. most parents are clueless about what their children are doing (including me). I learned the hard way.

Clearly, I missed out. Sleepovers (boys) were about watching movies, eating junk food, and playing video games until 4am.

Maybe we were a bunch of delinquents but we TP'd people's houses, burned and blew up things, went to shows, and skateboarded until dawn. We're all doctors and lawyers now and didn't cause any real damage but I'd be livid if my kid did the things we did. But for all I know it's so much worse now so I'm glad they're not doing sleep overs.

Lol kids are way too lazy and not bored enough to do any of that these days.

[Anonymous]

I attended sleepovers all the time as a child. I think it is instructive to note that at sleepovers 1. in second grade, I saw my first porn, 2. in fifth grade, I kissed my first boy, 3. same year, AOL-chatted grown men and received dick pics, 4. smoked cigarettes and 5. drank my first beer.

There were many innocent sleepovers, but if you think teenage girls have poor judgment as a rule, imagine how idiotic they get at 3 am after drinking wine coolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once we learned of the questionable and unsafe antics happening at sleepovers, we curtailed them. most parents are clueless about what their children are doing (including me). I learned the hard way.

Clearly, I missed out. Sleepovers (boys) were about watching movies, eating junk food, and playing video games until 4am.

Hahaha, same. Sleepovers (girls) were about staying up way too late eating sweets, talking, and role playing games (the D&D kind, nothing spicy lol). We were only allowed for birthday parties, though, I think because my parents hated hosting them for their own disrupted sleep as well as having to deal with cranky tweens the next day. As someone who is being run ragged by my preshoolers, I sympathize retroactively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once we learned of the questionable and unsafe antics happening at sleepovers, we curtailed them. most parents are clueless about what their children are doing (including me). I learned the hard way.

Clearly, I missed out. Sleepovers (boys) were about watching movies, eating junk food, and playing video games until 4am.

Maybe we were a bunch of delinquents but we TP'd people's houses, burned and blew up things, went to shows, and skateboarded until dawn. We're all doctors and lawyers now and didn't cause any real damage but I'd be livid if my kid did the things we did. But for all I know it's so much worse now so I'm glad they're not doing sleep overs.

No, it's much quieter, because parents are more aware of the risks. BTW, where the heck were YOUR parents?!?

[Anonymous]

I would prefer them at our house except if we knew the parents really well except with covid we aren't allowing anyone in our house right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We have a tiny house, most doors don't close, including our one and only bathroom door. A child would have to be VERY comfortable with us if they wanted to sleep over!

I'm European, and sleepovers weren't a thing when I was growing up. Some people did it, but it wasn't frequent and most families did not.

Here our circle is mostly international, with no sleepovers, but even the Americans we know don't host a lot of them.

We haven't been doing sleepovers but our kids would far prefer your house than a huge house where everyone is separate as that is what they are used to with our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely hurt the one weird family we knew who had it. Their kid often felt left out.

You must have girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have that. Will relax it when they are older teen.

Interesting- my kids are now teens (well, one is 12, and then 16 year old twins) and sleepovers have gotten to be way more of a PITA as they get older. When they were little (like elementary age) sleepovers were so sweet and easy. Eat dinner, do an activity, pop on a movie with the lights out and usually everyone was asleep before the movie ended. But older kid sleepovers...ugh. Always seems to be some sort of drama, so much gossip, there was some alcohol experimentation once at a sleepover the older girls were at...it's my 16 year olds who I'm very leery about allowing to go to sleepovers. And they're good kids, but still. The saying that nothing good happens after midnight is definitely relevant to teens. Granted at this age they're less of the cute "slumber party" variety that they had when younger and more like...sleeping over at someone's house after a school dance or an event or something. Still-no thanks.

Agree with this. Younger - the worst thing that happened was someone got homesick or no one slept. By teen years, sleepovers are often covers for going out

[Anonymous]

My ex doesn’t allow sleepovers. He’s from the Middle East and it’s not even up for discussion. I’m fine with it because I was once horribly bullied at a sleepover. Sleepovers are dumb.

[Anonymous]

Parents today are also more aware of the enormous legal liability that comes with having others in your home, particularly children overnight.

Just not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers are an American thing. Not all cultures do this. It’s ok not to. My friends who weren’t allowed to have sleepovers are ok with it not having them for their kids as parents. Most of them have a no sleepover rule for their own children now. Considering they are responsible, good adults, I’d say it turns out okay if you decide to not have them! The judgement about others being weird… I think it’s about one’s own insecurities. Maybe they feel they’re weird themselves who knows? No need to judge either est esp since This is 💯 a cultural thing.

All of this!