No Sleepover Rule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm always so shocked when I see these types of posts because I have 4 kids who all have a wide range of friends from different cultures, religions, races, and socioeconomic statuses and they've never had a friend who wasn't allowed to sleep over.

DCUM makes it seem like No Sleepovers is a big thing now and the norm but I've not found that to be true. At least where I live in Loudoun.

I only have 2 kids at home now, but we probably still have a kid sleeping over or one of them gone to a sleepover at least twice a month or more. During the summer it is definitely more often!

For those with the no sleepovers rule, does that apply to sports overnights? I've always wondered about that.

For example, my son plays travel soccer. The kids usually sleep 4 to a room in 2 queen beds for tournaments. Would you allow this? Because again, DCUM makes it seem so common that no one is doing sleepovers, but during all my years of kids in travel sports, I can't recall an instance where a kid wasn't allowed to room with teammates.

I think it is just a few that keep posting over and over again. I have 4 kids too and tons of sleepovers and no one was never not allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers were some of my favorite times when I was a kid and my daughter now in college just said she loved being the fun house, the Girl Scout house, and the sleepover house. Tons of memories. It made me teary-eyed. My youngest is 12 and she has sleepovers at least twice a month. Here or other houses. Kids NEED socialization in person, now more than ever.

They don't need it, you do. It gives you a break. Fun house is code for drugs, alcohol, sex and partying.

Yes, I do hear those Girl Scout meetings have a lot of sex and heroin. LOL

Sweetie, just because you are a lame-ass overbearing mom doesn’t mean those that host events for kids or teens are useless parents who allow all the dangerous things. It actually takes a lot of time, effort, planning, and money to be a troop mom, host sleepovers, have play dates after school, and always welcome a lot of kids in your home who may need a meal, some happiness, and friendship.

You just tell yourself that these houses are dangerous and put others down, to make yourself seem like a “good” mom. But you sound like a miserable judgmental twit.

You sound like a 15-year-old.

Um she sounds like a mature troop parent who hosted a lot of fun sleepovers.

I have been to a ton of sleepovers, girl scout camps, summer sleep away camps, and have hosted a ton of sleepovers at my house for 4 of my kids.

You are all neurotic and you pass on your strange phobias to help increase the anxiety and depression in our teens to an all time high. I mean the posts on this forum are unreal. 16yr olds can't take Ubers, middle schoolers can't bike to the pool alone, no sleepovers, etc...

Raising inept unsociable kids with serious mental health issues.

+1

Coddling = Anxiety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t do sleepovers. I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why. My kids are welcome to attend until 11pm and then they come home to sleep in their own beds. We don’t fill them with fear or paranoia, that is simply our rule and they are all happy, social, well-liked kids. I simply don’t want to deal with sleep deprivation, sickness or even the remote possibility of inappropriate sexual contact—which I know plenty of individuals who have been inappropriately touched. To me the risk isn’t worth it.

+1 this is us too. I was inappropriately touched at a sleepover myself. I was forced to sit on the Dad’s lap. To this day I’ll never forget the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had at that point. Sleepovers are not happening.

Me too. I was groped by a Dad across the street with four daughters- third grade while I was in a sleeping bag in my friend’s bonus room. I remember my friend, saying “Maybe she doesn’t want a massage, DAD.” I never even considered telling anyone about it- this was the 1970s. I really didn’t think about it until I had a daughter that age. I allowed her to have select sleepovers when she was in middle school and could advocate for herself, before that I always encouraged girls to sleep over at our house. It is amazing when you get a group of women together talking- very few became an adult without some sort of sexual assault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope! My kids LOVE sleepovers! Such a fun part of childhood- some of my most fond memories come from sleepovers as a kid and I am so glad my kids get to experience them as well! Usually in the summer we'll have kids sleeping here or my kids will sleep elsewhere multiple times per week. School year is a little harder and less often because they sometimes have activities in the morning (and church on Sundays) so in those cases we'll just pick up at 9:30 or so. But otherwise? Bring 'em on!

We're talking about Teenagers here. Not little kids.

At this age "sleepovers" have different meaning...

So please enlighten me on four 8th grade girls having a sleepover

The least they would be taking pics of themselves in bra or undies and sending them to boys in Snapchat all night. If they are "bi" they would be playing spin the bottle and making out!

You are under the impression that girls are sleepovers are sending nudes and making out?

Are you getting your information from 1980s teen movies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grown kids have told me about the very bad stuff that happened at sleepovers when they were in their teens. You parents may think you know what's going on but you don't.

Bad things did happen when I was at sleepovers but they also happened when I was at an ice skating rink, swimming pools, the mall, and at other houses during the day.

Teach your kids to be responsible. They won’t tell you everything but they shouldn’t have to tell you everything. You’re asking a 17-year-old to never sleep out but then planning to drop them in a college dorm the next year. These things will happen in their lives and the longer leash helps them grow. If you don’t want your child to do it, that’s your personal decision. It doesn’t mean that it’s super common for kids to be molested at a sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t do sleepovers. I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why. My kids are welcome to attend until 11pm and then they come home to sleep in their own beds. We don’t fill them with fear or paranoia, that is simply our rule and they are all happy, social, well-liked kids. I simply don’t want to deal with sleep deprivation, sickness or even the remote possibility of inappropriate sexual contact—which I know plenty of individuals who have been inappropriately touched. To me the risk isn’t worth it.

+1 this is us too. I was inappropriately touched at a sleepover myself. I was forced to sit on the Dad’s lap. To this day I’ll never forget the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had at that point. Sleepovers are not happening.

In our circles it’s the divorced parents hosting the most sleepovers and trying to be the fun parent and simultaneously pleasing their kid(s) who seemingly want more friend time not parent time. It’s a great way to avoid parenting your kid; keep your house full of other kids, pizza and ice cream.

[Anonymous]

Sleepovers in a big group are mostly an elementary school thing. My older daughter got invited to three sleepovers in fourth/fifth grade. The first was an hour away and I didn't want to drive her so I RSVP'd no and never told her she was invited. The second she really wanted to attend so I picked her up at 11. There were only three girls who were allowed to spend the night, she wasn't the only one who was picked up early. The third one she begged me to attend. Since I knew the family really well I allowed the sleepover. I am an immigrant and I've heard of so many things go wrong with sleepovers.

My younger daughter, who is going into fifth grade, got invited to one sleepover. We were busy that weekend. My daughter wanted a sleepover with a friend at our house, which I'm fine with, but I knew the other girl's mother (who is also an immigrant) wouldn't allow her daughter to sleepover so I let my daughter forget about the sleepover.

[Anonymous]

My middle schooler still sleeps over at friends houses. At minimum, I have to meet the parent before she can go. Recently she was invited by a new friend. I asked to speak to the parent but they did not reach out. So, it was a NO to that sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t do sleepovers. I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why. My kids are welcome to attend until 11pm and then they come home to sleep in their own beds. We don’t fill them with fear or paranoia, that is simply our rule and they are all happy, social, well-liked kids. I simply don’t want to deal with sleep deprivation, sickness or even the remote possibility of inappropriate sexual contact—which I know plenty of individuals who have been inappropriately touched. To me the risk isn’t worth it.

+1 this is us too. I was inappropriately touched at a sleepover myself. I was forced to sit on the Dad’s lap. To this day I’ll never forget the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had at that point. Sleepovers are not happening.

Me too. I was groped by a Dad across the street with four daughters- third grade while I was in a sleeping bag in my friend’s bonus room. I remember my friend, saying “Maybe she doesn’t want a massage, DAD.” I never even considered telling anyone about it- this was the 1970s. I really didn’t think about it until I had a daughter that age. I allowed her to have select sleepovers when she was in middle school and could advocate for herself, before that I always encouraged girls to sleep over at our house. It is amazing when you get a group of women together talking- very few became an adult without some sort of sexual assault.

Wait wait wait

You don’t trust others but others should trust your house? Okay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t do sleepovers. I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why. My kids are welcome to attend until 11pm and then they come home to sleep in their own beds. We don’t fill them with fear or paranoia, that is simply our rule and they are all happy, social, well-liked kids. I simply don’t want to deal with sleep deprivation, sickness or even the remote possibility of inappropriate sexual contact—which I know plenty of individuals who have been inappropriately touched. To me the risk isn’t worth it.

+1 this is us too. I was inappropriately touched at a sleepover myself. I was forced to sit on the Dad’s lap. To this day I’ll never forget the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had at that point. Sleepovers are not happening.

Me too. I was groped by a Dad across the street with four daughters- third grade while I was in a sleeping bag in my friend’s bonus room. I remember my friend, saying “Maybe she doesn’t want a massage, DAD.” I never even considered telling anyone about it- this was the 1970s. I really didn’t think about it until I had a daughter that age. I allowed her to have select sleepovers when she was in middle school and could advocate for herself, before that I always encouraged girls to sleep over at our house. It is amazing when you get a group of women together talking- very few became an adult without some sort of sexual assault.

Wait wait wait

You don’t trust others but others should trust your house? Okay

I'm trying to imagine being enough of an imbecile to post a laughing emoji to what the PP just said. Nope, can't do it.

I hope you're 13. Pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t do sleepovers. I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why. My kids are welcome to attend until 11pm and then they come home to sleep in their own beds. We don’t fill them with fear or paranoia, that is simply our rule and they are all happy, social, well-liked kids. I simply don’t want to deal with sleep deprivation, sickness or even the remote possibility of inappropriate sexual contact—which I know plenty of individuals who have been inappropriately touched. To me the risk isn’t worth it.

+1 this is us too. I was inappropriately touched at a sleepover myself. I was forced to sit on the Dad’s lap. To this day I’ll never forget the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had at that point. Sleepovers are not happening.

Me too. I was groped by a Dad across the street with four daughters- third grade while I was in a sleeping bag in my friend’s bonus room. I remember my friend, saying “Maybe she doesn’t want a massage, DAD.” I never even considered telling anyone about it- this was the 1970s. I really didn’t think about it until I had a daughter that age. I allowed her to have select sleepovers when she was in middle school and could advocate for herself, before that I always encouraged girls to sleep over at our house. It is amazing when you get a group of women together talking- very few became an adult without some sort of sexual assault.

Wait wait wait

You don’t trust others but others should trust your house? Okay

Isn't that always they way. Well we are safe, but others aren't. The irony is astounding

[Anonymous]

18 yo son has a male and a female best friend, the three of them still get together for sleepovers. They've known each other since K, they had them all through elementary, but they fizzled out by the time they started middle school, but had a resurgence towards the end of junior year when we were all vaccinated.

Admittedly we weren't sure about letting them start again at first but there's never been any drugs, alcohol, sneaking out or "fooling around" just them getting together to eat junk food, play video games and have goofy fun together until the early hours of the morning. Last weekend they were in the den telling each other scary stories by torch light on their phones from a creepypasta website. They've always followed the rules we have in place and we still remind them we're trusting them. I think it's great for them to still get together and just have silly fun time together and relive their younger days, especially since they're all going to college in the fall.

[Anonymous]

I remember hearing a prior principal at our local MCPS high school recommended parents not have sleepovers. I can’t remember why - maybe rampant alcohol and drug use among the students?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18 yo son has a male and a female best friend, the three of them still get together for sleepovers. They've known each other since K, they had them all through elementary, but they fizzled out by the time they started middle school, but had a resurgence towards the end of junior year when we were all vaccinated.

Admittedly we weren't sure about letting them start again at first but there's never been any drugs, alcohol, sneaking out or "fooling around" just them getting together to eat junk food, play video games and have goofy fun together until the early hours of the morning. Last weekend they were in the den telling each other scary stories by torch light on their phones from a creepypasta website. They've always followed the rules we have in place and we still remind them we're trusting them. I think it's great for them to still get together and just have silly fun time together and relive their younger days, especially since they're all going to college in the fall.

Parent, kudos to you for allowing this. I grew up with a pack of close-knit boy/girl neighborhood friends. When we hit middle school, some of the parents were wary about sleepovers. But they were truly harmless, no hijinks—we were more like family. Now in our 50s, spread out around the country, but still in touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t do sleepovers. I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why. My kids are welcome to attend until 11pm and then they come home to sleep in their own beds. We don’t fill them with fear or paranoia, that is simply our rule and they are all happy, social, well-liked kids. I simply don’t want to deal with sleep deprivation, sickness or even the remote possibility of inappropriate sexual contact—which I know plenty of individuals who have been inappropriately touched. To me the risk isn’t worth it.

+1 this is us too. I was inappropriately touched at a sleepover myself. I was forced to sit on the Dad’s lap. To this day I’ll never forget the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had at that point. Sleepovers are not happening.

In our circles it’s the divorced parents hosting the most sleepovers and trying to be the fun parent and simultaneously pleasing their kid(s) who seemingly want more friend time not parent time. It’s a great way to avoid parenting your kid; keep your house full of other kids, pizza and ice cream.

Just wait. By late MS those are the sleepovers with sneaking out in middle of night, sneaking booze and drugs.

Yes- even in nice neighborhoods.

We had to tell our 8th grader that’s it this spring. Too much real trouble now happening….and coupled with what they are doing online at these things too.

We sometimes will let them go, but pickup at 11pm. More and more parents learned the hard way and now following our lead.

There are now certain groups of kids and certain homes that are a hard “no”. No good happens at sleepovers with a bunch of 14-year old teen boys.