No Sleepover Rule?

[Anonymous]

My DH is international and thinks sleepovers are insane. I grew up with them every weekend, and honestly, I don’t have a problem with DH’s approach. Nothing good happens after 11 pm and even at a young age, I was adjacent to risky sleepover stunts. My friends in 6th grade would pick random numbers out of the white pages and call people. They would strip naked and run past the nearby seminary dorms. It freaked me out so I started making excuses to not go to sleepovers. It escalated to the point that if they got a man on the phone who sounded like he was in his 20s, they would chat him up and ask him to buy wine coolers for them and meet them at the ends of cul-de-sacs or edge of the neighborhood near the woods to drink together. We were 11 and 12! This was in a “nice” suburb on the 90s. I can’t imagine what could happen now with iPhones, cameras, etc.

[Anonymous]

It’s trickier now with so many girls in my daughters class announcing they are bi or lesbian.

I don’t want to be the parent who hosted some girls’ first sexual experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You pick up cranky kids and they are cranky the rest of the day! It’s such a strange cultural thing here.

It sounds like your kids need some practice dealing with changes if you think that would be true.

Or sleepovers are just absurd

[Anonymous]

I’m starting to think it’s a good idea.

I loved sleepovers as a kid and have nothing but fond memories but…. Maybe I read too much or worry too much now. DD is 8.5 and sleepover aren’t a thing in her circle yet. She occasionally sleeps over at my parents or her nanny’s house for fun but not at a friend’s house.

[Anonymous]

For us, as long as it's the same sex (our kids are heterosexual), know the kid, we've met the parents, we don't have any issues with it on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Nah they love sleepovers. We have them once a month or so probably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For us, as long as it's the same sex (our kids are heterosexual), know the kid, we've met the parents, we don't have any issues with it on the weekends.

I am the poster who said no to my older kid when things got wild but I am getting concerned more with the younger ones. More 10 and 11 yo girls around announcing they are bi or lesbians. We have had to have the discussion with younger DD that no one can sleepover together if anyone has a crush on anyone else.

[Anonymous]

We don’t do them often but have had zero negative issues (late elementary kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s trickier now with so many girls in my daughters class announcing they are bi or lesbian.

I don’t want to be the parent who hosted some girls’ first sexual experience.

+1 I discouraged sleepovers when they were younger, with the plan of loosening up when they were in middle school. But now there's a whole other set of considerations since my oldest is bi and many of her friends are as well.

[Anonymous]

No one sleeps here, ever. But my kids can sleep at the houses of friends if their parents can tolerate that.
This has never interfered in anyone's social life, least of all, mine.

[Anonymous]

My girls have regular sleepovers but they have friends who don’t and it’s not a huge deal really.

What does cause problems are the friends who seem to be almost unreachable and are hard to make plans with. If a kid needs to be picked up at 10, no biggie, but they’ve had some friends who I think come from immigrant families who I think don’t view friendships as important outside school and consider it family time.

[Anonymous]

Nope! My kids LOVE sleepovers! Such a fun part of childhood- some of my most fond memories come from sleepovers as a kid and I am so glad my kids get to experience them as well! Usually in the summer we'll have kids sleeping here or my kids will sleep elsewhere multiple times per week. School year is a little harder and less often because they sometimes have activities in the morning (and church on Sundays) so in those cases we'll just pick up at 9:30 or so. But otherwise? Bring 'em on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have that. Will relax it when they are older teen.

Interesting- my kids are now teens (well, one is 12, and then 16 year old twins) and sleepovers have gotten to be way more of a PITA as they get older. When they were little (like elementary age) sleepovers were so sweet and easy. Eat dinner, do an activity, pop on a movie with the lights out and usually everyone was asleep before the movie ended. But older kid sleepovers...ugh. Always seems to be some sort of drama, so much gossip, there was some alcohol experimentation once at a sleepover the older girls were at...it's my 16 year olds who I'm very leery about allowing to go to sleepovers. And they're good kids, but still. The saying that nothing good happens after midnight is definitely relevant to teens. Granted at this age they're less of the cute "slumber party" variety that they had when younger and more like...sleeping over at someone's house after a school dance or an event or something. Still-no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Once we learned of the questionable and unsafe antics happening at sleepovers, we curtailed them. most parents are clueless about what their children are doing (including me). I learned the hard way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once we learned of the questionable and unsafe antics happening at sleepovers, we curtailed them. most parents are clueless about what their children are doing (including me). I learned the hard way.

Clearly, I missed out. Sleepovers (boys) were about watching movies, eating junk food, and playing video games until 4am.