No Sleepover Rule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have that. Will relax it when they are older teen.

Interesting- my kids are now teens (well, one is 12, and then 16 year old twins) and sleepovers have gotten to be way more of a PITA as they get older. When they were little (like elementary age) sleepovers were so sweet and easy. Eat dinner, do an activity, pop on a movie with the lights out and usually everyone was asleep before the movie ended. But older kid sleepovers...ugh. Always seems to be some sort of drama, so much gossip, there was some alcohol experimentation once at a sleepover the older girls were at...it's my 16 year olds who I'm very leery about allowing to go to sleepovers. And they're good kids, but still. The saying that nothing good happens after midnight is definitely relevant to teens. Granted at this age they're less of the cute "slumber party" variety that they had when younger and more like...sleeping over at someone's house after a school dance or an event or something. Still-no thanks.

Agree with this. Younger - the worst thing that happened was someone got homesick or no one slept. By teen years, sleepovers are often covers for going out

Agree! At 16-17, sleeping over at Tricia's house was definitely not sleeping over at Tricia's house..

+100

Yep. We used to stuff our sleeping bags too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in 8th and we just started pulling back on sleepovers.

This age is trouble with a capital T.

One house that hosts them all the time has a policy of almost zero supervision. The kids are running around the neighborhood into the wee hours of the morning, on electronics all night long (and not doing good things there). I'm sure weed and booze are next, if not started with some of them.

My husband and I stopped letting our kid attend some of these earlier this year. We will host and we supervise, and we screen which kids are coming over.

There are some groups and homes that are an absolute NO. We are not alone. It seems this age a lot of the parents are starting to pull back.

By high school the kids are all so busy they don't do this until the later years. My high school son has a nice group of kids that get together, but often they prefer to get picked up because they want a good night sleep in their own bed and/or they have sports games the following day.

This 100%

+100%

[Anonymous]

This generalization of teens is weird. Yes, some will do these stupid "bad" things, but that doesn't mean they all will. Maybe your kid will be the smartest out if the while group.

[Anonymous]

I think this is pretty likely to have a negative impact on a female tween/early teen if sleepovers are common in her friend set. I think you could mitigate if you were willing to host frequently (i.e., if the issue was not letting her sleep over at other kids' houses).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in 8th and we just started pulling back on sleepovers.

This age is trouble with a capital T.

One house that hosts them all the time has a policy of almost zero supervision. The kids are running around the neighborhood into the wee hours of the morning, on electronics all night long (and not doing good things there). I'm sure weed and booze are next, if not started with some of them.

My husband and I stopped letting our kid attend some of these earlier this year. We will host and we supervise, and we screen which kids are coming over.

There are some groups and homes that are an absolute NO. We are not alone. It seems this age a lot of the parents are starting to pull back.

By high school the kids are all so busy they don't do this until the later years. My high school son has a nice group of kids that get together, but often they prefer to get picked up because they want a good night sleep in their own bed and/or they have sports games the following day.

This 100%

Could not agree more.

+100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember hearing a prior principal at our local MCPS high school recommended parents not have sleepovers. I can’t remember why - maybe rampant alcohol and drug use among the students?

Do you now how much drug use there was at my daughters middle school DURING school

Sleepovers with parental supervision aren’t for the disturbed druggies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t do sleepovers. I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why. My kids are welcome to attend until 11pm and then they come home to sleep in their own beds. We don’t fill them with fear or paranoia, that is simply our rule and they are all happy, social, well-liked kids. I simply don’t want to deal with sleep deprivation, sickness or even the remote possibility of inappropriate sexual contact—which I know plenty of individuals who have been inappropriately touched. To me the risk isn’t worth it.

+1 this is us too. I was inappropriately touched at a sleepover myself. I was forced to sit on the Dad’s lap. To this day I’ll never forget the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had at that point. Sleepovers are not happening.

In our circles it’s the divorced parents hosting the most sleepovers and trying to be the fun parent and simultaneously pleasing their kid(s) who seemingly want more friend time not parent time. It’s a great way to avoid parenting your kid; keep your house full of other kids, pizza and ice cream.

Just wait. By late MS those are the sleepovers with sneaking out in middle of night, sneaking booze and drugs.

Yes- even in nice neighborhoods.

We had to tell our 8th grader that’s it this spring. Too much real trouble now happening….and coupled with what they are doing online at these things too.

We sometimes will let them go, but pickup at 11pm. More and more parents learned the hard way and now following our lead.

There are now certain groups of kids and certain homes that are a hard “no”. No good happens at sleepovers with a bunch of 14-year old teen boys.

It really depends on the kids. There are plenty of 8th graders that a sleepover is the only socialization they get. It is there highlight

Others use it to abuse curfew, sneak out, etc... Most know their kids well enough.

[Anonymous]

I am glad to not be a part of the no sleepover circle. How depressing. Every night at our pool kids are setting up last minute sleepovers. Sometimes I have 7 kids in my basement and other times all my kids are over their friends. A few nights we set up the tents outback and do hot dogs and s’mores. Other nights the kids are all outside playing capture the flag until 9pm. Our friends have a inflatable screen for movies

I made sure to find parents/friends who wanted old school summers. I hate the scheduled day campers, dinner, and then an evening on electronics crew. No thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember hearing a prior principal at our local MCPS high school recommended parents not have sleepovers. I can’t remember why - maybe rampant alcohol and drug use among the students?

Do you now how much drug use there was at my daughters middle school DURING school

Sleepovers with parental supervision aren’t for the disturbed druggies

This is naive of you. Parental supervision means different things to different people. Do you go to bed before the kids? Leave them in the basement and stay upstairs for long periods of time? It’s easy to drink secretly while a parent is in the house or sneak out. If you don’t care that’s fine. But as a HS teacher who overhears way more than I want to on Monday mornings, parents really don’t seem aware of what their kids do on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am glad to not be a part of the no sleepover circle. How depressing. Every night at our pool kids are setting up last minute sleepovers. Sometimes I have 7 kids in my basement and other times all my kids are over their friends. A few nights we set up the tents outback and do hot dogs and s’mores. Other nights the kids are all outside playing capture the flag until 9pm. Our friends have a inflatable screen for movies

I made sure to find parents/friends who wanted old school summers. I hate the scheduled day campers, dinner, and then an evening on electronics crew. No thanks

I have never heard a parent when I was a kid or a parent of 3 now say no sleepovers. HWe don’t hang out with weird religious or coddling parents though. I never drank, did drugs or anything creepy at any sleepover. They were so much fun. A ton of memories. Lots of hairspray and make-up. Tons of junk food. My kids bring out the old Wii and they have epic battles with friends. I keep their phones upstairs and they sleep in the basement. We don’t have any alcohol or drugs in the house and have the wifi shut off and an alarm system that notifies me if a door is opened. We have never had issues. Big chocolate chip pancake breakfasts in the AM. I love hosting and hearing all about the night in the morning. I guess I like being around tweens/teens. Only 6 more years left until my youngest is out of the house. I love these memories for them and myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am glad to not be a part of the no sleepover circle. How depressing. Every night at our pool kids are setting up last minute sleepovers. Sometimes I have 7 kids in my basement and other times all my kids are over their friends. A few nights we set up the tents outback and do hot dogs and s’mores. Other nights the kids are all outside playing capture the flag until 9pm. Our friends have a inflatable screen for movies

I made sure to find parents/friends who wanted old school summers. I hate the scheduled day campers, dinner, and then an evening on electronics crew. No thanks

I have never heard a parent when I was a kid or a parent of 3 now say no sleepovers. HWe don’t hang out with weird religious or coddling parents though. I never drank, did drugs or anything creepy at any sleepover. They were so much fun. A ton of memories. Lots of hairspray and make-up. Tons of junk food. My kids bring out the old Wii and they have epic battles with friends. I keep their phones upstairs and they sleep in the basement. We don’t have any alcohol or drugs in the house and have the wifi shut off and an alarm system that notifies me if a door is opened. We have never had issues. Big chocolate chip pancake breakfasts in the AM. I love hosting and hearing all about the night in the morning. I guess I like being around tweens/teens. Only 6 more years left until my youngest is out of the house. I love these memories for them and myself.

Oh I said the same until the boys turned 14…end of 8th grade with one son was a game changer. The older one i never have had an issue with his group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am glad to not be a part of the no sleepover circle. How depressing. Every night at our pool kids are setting up last minute sleepovers. Sometimes I have 7 kids in my basement and other times all my kids are over their friends. A few nights we set up the tents outback and do hot dogs and s’mores. Other nights the kids are all outside playing capture the flag until 9pm. Our friends have a inflatable screen for movies

I made sure to find parents/friends who wanted old school summers. I hate the scheduled day campers, dinner, and then an evening on electronics crew. No thanks

I have never heard a parent when I was a kid or a parent of 3 now say no sleepovers. HWe don’t hang out with weird religious or coddling parents though. I never drank, did drugs or anything creepy at any sleepover. They were so much fun. A ton of memories. Lots of hairspray and make-up. Tons of junk food. My kids bring out the old Wii and they have epic battles with friends. I keep their phones upstairs and they sleep in the basement. We don’t have any alcohol or drugs in the house and have the wifi shut off and an alarm system that notifies me if a door is opened. We have never had issues. Big chocolate chip pancake breakfasts in the AM. I love hosting and hearing all about the night in the morning. I guess I like being around tweens/teens. Only 6 more years left until my youngest is out of the house. I love these memories for them and myself.

Oh I said the same until the boys turned 14…end of 8th grade with one son was a game changer. The older one i never have had an issue with his group.

I find it concerning that ppl think that it's normal for tweens abd early teens to engage in drugs, alcohol, sneaking out. Kids that young engaging in these things is not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am glad to not be a part of the no sleepover circle. How depressing. Every night at our pool kids are setting up last minute sleepovers. Sometimes I have 7 kids in my basement and other times all my kids are over their friends. A few nights we set up the tents outback and do hot dogs and s’mores. Other nights the kids are all outside playing capture the flag until 9pm. Our friends have a inflatable screen for movies

I made sure to find parents/friends who wanted old school summers. I hate the scheduled day campers, dinner, and then an evening on electronics crew. No thanks

I have never heard a parent when I was a kid or a parent of 3 now say no sleepovers. HWe don’t hang out with weird religious or coddling parents though. I never drank, did drugs or anything creepy at any sleepover. They were so much fun. A ton of memories. Lots of hairspray and make-up. Tons of junk food. My kids bring out the old Wii and they have epic battles with friends. I keep their phones upstairs and they sleep in the basement. We don’t have any alcohol or drugs in the house and have the wifi shut off and an alarm system that notifies me if a door is opened. We have never had issues. Big chocolate chip pancake breakfasts in the AM. I love hosting and hearing all about the night in the morning. I guess I like being around tweens/teens. Only 6 more years left until my youngest is out of the house. I love these memories for them and myself.

Oh I said the same until the boys turned 14…end of 8th grade with one son was a game changer. The older one i never have had an issue with his group.

I find it concerning that ppl think that it's normal for tweens abd early teens to engage in drugs, alcohol, sneaking out. Kids that young engaging in these things is not normal.

I agree. That’s why we stopped sleepovers. A big part of the MS crowd was starting to experiment. Same thing happened in the 80s when I was in 8th- spring. My best friend and I dropped that group of girls as close friends. They were sneaking it out of parents’ stash and sneaking out to meet boys at group sleepovers.