He’s ready for sex but not a relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like an asshole. Don't let him do anything/ Bye!

He wants sex and no commitment. Oh by the way. he is forty years old. Loser.

You don't want to have sex with someone who does not want a relationship that is exclusive - like a normal person. So why are you wasting your time with this guy? He probably just wants to have the sex and then move on. Do not have sex with someone until you are sure in how they feel about you. Don't waste your time.

Sorry to bust your bubble, but there are a lot of 40+ men who aren't ready to commit after 90 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating a guy for 3 months. We’ve been very physically intimate, but have not had intercourse. I want to wait until we decide to be in a relationship. He is wanting to take things slow in that regard, which I’m fine with.

However, the way my mind works, is that- he doesn’t know if he wants me to be his girlfriend, but he wants to have sex with me. If that’s the case, then I’ll wait to have sex with him. Am I thinking about this correctly?

If you aren't into casual sex find someone else who isn't. He needs someone looking for a one-night stand.

This is so black and white. If he wanted a one-night stand, he wouldn't date OP for a quarter of a year without sex.
Having sex with someone you've been seeing regularly for three months is NOT casual sex.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you want to have sex with him or not? forget about all the labels and this and that. ok, you do? great. but you don’t want him to be sleeping with other people? ok. Fine. so use your words. Tell him what you want. Then let him respond. if you guys are only seeing each other, dating 2-3 times a week, and having sex then what do you need a relationship label for? It’s not high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating a guy for 3 months. We’ve been very physically intimate, but have not had intercourse. I want to wait until we decide to be in a relationship. He is wanting to take things slow in that regard, which I’m fine with.

However, the way my mind works, is that- he doesn’t know if he wants me to be his girlfriend, but he wants to have sex with me. If that’s the case, then I’ll wait to have sex with him. Am I thinking about this correctly?

If you aren't into casual sex find someone else who isn't. He needs someone looking for a one-night stand.

This is so black and white. If he wanted a one-night stand, he wouldn't date OP for a quarter of a year without sex.
Having sex with someone you've been seeing regularly for three months is NOT casual sex.

+100

He is wasting his time. He has spent 3 months waiting. This is not casual. OP: your expectations are too high. He has already shown commitment by dating 3 months without sex at 40 years old. You are not 25. He is as good as it gets. Have sex or move on..,but know most men are not going to wait this long. I say this as a mid 40s woman. Grow up,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well use a condom and have sex and see if he’s worth keeping around or move on. He’s thinking the same by now. It’s time to put out.

It’s time to put out?? Isn’t 3 months long enough for him to decide if he wants to be a boyfriend or not?

Don’t you want to know if someone is good in bed before you commit to them? They’re 40 not 21. I’m not wasting my time with someone that can’t get it on properly.

+1 I’m a widow in my 30s and I will 100% not commit to a relationship if the sex isn’t there. First marriage was not the most aligned in that area and I’m not going through that ever again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well use a condom and have sex and see if he’s worth keeping around or move on. He’s thinking the same by now. It’s time to put out.

It’s time to put out?? Isn’t 3 months long enough for him to decide if he wants to be a boyfriend or not?

Don’t you want to know if someone is good in bed before you commit to them? They’re 40 not 21. I’m not wasting my time with someone that can’t get it on properly.

+1 I’m a widow in my 30s and I will 100% not commit to a relationship if the sex isn’t there. First marriage was not the most aligned in that area and I’m not going through that ever again.

+1. Woman here too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well use a condom and have sex and see if he’s worth keeping around or move on. He’s thinking the same by now. It’s time to put out.

It’s time to put out?? Isn’t 3 months long enough for him to decide if he wants to be a boyfriend or not?

Don’t you want to know if someone is good in bed before you commit to them? They’re 40 not 21. I’m not wasting my time with someone that can’t get it on properly.

3 months and you feel you are wasting time? This is why I will never date again. What does sexually compatible mean to people anyway? Do you like sex and will you have sex? I don’t really understand this sexual craze.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well use a condom and have sex and see if he’s worth keeping around or move on. He’s thinking the same by now. It’s time to put out.

It’s time to put out?? Isn’t 3 months long enough for him to decide if he wants to be a boyfriend or not?

Don’t you want to know if someone is good in bed before you commit to them? They’re 40 not 21. I’m not wasting my time with someone that can’t get it on properly.

+1 I’m a widow in my 30s and I will 100% not commit to a relationship if the sex isn’t there. First marriage was not the most aligned in that area and I’m not going through that ever again.

+1. Woman here too.

And so what. You being female doesn't give you the right to impose your views on op
Enough with the sex shaming and bullying.
If op doesn't want to have sex outside of an exclusive relationship that's her right and there's nothing wrong with that choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you want to have sex with him or not? forget about all the labels and this and that. ok, you do? great. but you don’t want him to be sleeping with other people? ok. Fine. so use your words. Tell him what you want. Then let him respond. if you guys are only seeing each other, dating 2-3 times a week, and having sex then what do you need a relationship label for? It’s not high school.

That's some high school logic there pp.
You know damn well that labels as you call them have meaning. And it's only players who use the argument of we don't need a label

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well use a condom and have sex and see if he’s worth keeping around or move on. He’s thinking the same by now. It’s time to put out.

It’s time to put out?? Isn’t 3 months long enough for him to decide if he wants to be a boyfriend or not?

Don’t you want to know if someone is good in bed before you commit to them? They’re 40 not 21. I’m not wasting my time with someone that can’t get it on properly.

3 months and you feel you are wasting time? This is why I will never date again. What does sexually compatible mean to people anyway? Do you like sex and will you have sex? I don’t really understand this sexual craze.

Maybe you're lucky and have never had bad sex. Or maybe you're just so inexperienced and you've had nothing but bad sex and don't even know it.
The fact is that not every couple is going to have a good time in bed together, regardless of how much they like each other.

[Anonymous]

WHen did the world become this way? How did we get from women should be virgins before marriage to people are wasting their time if they haven’t had sex in 3 months of dating?

Whatever. You do you. I just have different needs emotionally with people before sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WHen did the world become this way? How did we get from women should be virgins before marriage to people are wasting their time if they haven’t had sex in 3 months of dating?

Whatever. You do you. I just have different needs emotionally with people before sex.

Are you implying that that is better? Because it isn't.
You're right, you and OP and everyone else can do whatever they like when it comes to sex. I don't care for casual sex either. I prefer to feel that my partner likes me and enjoys me as a person and not just as a warm body.
But I wouldn't say that an adult wanting to have sex before making a commitment is an a$$hole, and I wouldn't say that having sex after three months without a formal commitment is "casual sex".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like an asshole. Don't let him do anything/ Bye!

He wants sex and no commitment. Oh by the way. he is forty years old. Loser.

You don't want to have sex with someone who does not want a relationship that is exclusive - like a normal person. So why are you wasting your time with this guy? He probably just wants to have the sex and then move on. Do not have sex with someone until you are sure in how they feel about you. Don't waste your time.

Sorry to bust your bubble, but there are a lot of 40+ men who aren't ready to commit after 90 days.

Then it is just dating, should not have the sex!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like an asshole. Don't let him do anything/ Bye!

He wants sex and no commitment. Oh by the way. he is forty years old. Loser.

You don't want to have sex with someone who does not want a relationship that is exclusive - like a normal person. So why are you wasting your time with this guy? He probably just wants to have the sex and then move on. Do not have sex with someone until you are sure in how they feel about you. Don't waste your time.

I don't think the word "normal" applies to either scenario, but it is FAR more common for people to have sex before committing to an exclusive relationship than to wait until after.

Are you very religious or a time traveler?

No, I am very over the fuccbois. If someone cares about you, they won't dump you just because they won't fucc you. The fuccbois will be outta there pronto cuz they jes wanna fucc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well use a condom and have sex and see if he’s worth keeping around or move on. He’s thinking the same by now. It’s time to put out.

It’s time to put out?? Isn’t 3 months long enough for him to decide if he wants to be a boyfriend or not?

Don’t you want to know if someone is good in bed before you commit to them? They’re 40 not 21. I’m not wasting my time with someone that can’t get it on properly.

3 months and you feel you are wasting time? This is why I will never date again. What does sexually compatible mean to people anyway? Do you like sex and will you have sex? I don’t really understand this sexual craze.

Go back to your six cats