He’s ready for sex but not a relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you last check in about this? If it was a month or so ago, I’d be honest with him — I’m waiting for a relationship to have sex, I’m very attracted to you, but if you feel like you’re not ready I wonder if maybe this just isn’t the right situation for us? You might get a response you’re not expecting, like a yes I am able to commit. But either way clarity at this point would be good.

OP: we last checked in about 2 weeks ago. At that time, I told him that I'm very attracted to him and would like to sleep with him, but that I would feel more comfortable waiting until we decide we're ready for a relationship. He knows that I am. He told me that he's "smitten" with me and that he has taken down his online dating profile. We left it as we agreed to keep doing what we're doing, no pressure.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing indefinitely, though.

This seems pretty exclusive and a relationship. I do not know what else you want.

NP I’d want a sign of commitment.

What kind of commitment? I really don't get it. (mid-40s woman here) And personally, I would not offer any commitment until I know I am sexually compatible with someone. This is truly a confusing post to me.

+1, from another mid 40s woman. This guy is not seeing other women, and it seems he and OP communicate and see each other fairly often. Post divorce, this sounds really reasonable to me. It’s premature to start meeting families, etc. *unless that’s what they both want*

I’m not sure if OP is holding out to get his class ring or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s clearly dating to meet his physical needs only and it looks like he’s ok with where things are with you and doesn’t need or want to escalate things. He seems to be the kind of men who will take what you offer, better than nothing or he just needs something different, especially if her gets a release.

If you last checked in two weeks ago then this is not going to turn into a relationship. Stop wasting your time.

They’re dating exclusively. What else is there before getting engaged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you last check in about this? If it was a month or so ago, I’d be honest with him — I’m waiting for a relationship to have sex, I’m very attracted to you, but if you feel like you’re not ready I wonder if maybe this just isn’t the right situation for us? You might get a response you’re not expecting, like a yes I am able to commit. But either way clarity at this point would be good.

OP: we last checked in about 2 weeks ago. At that time, I told him that I'm very attracted to him and would like to sleep with him, but that I would feel more comfortable waiting until we decide we're ready for a relationship. He knows that I am. He told me that he's "smitten" with me and that he has taken down his online dating profile. We left it as we agreed to keep doing what we're doing, no pressure.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing indefinitely, though.

This seems pretty exclusive and a relationship. I do not know what else you want.

NP I’d want a sign of commitment.

What kind of commitment? I really don't get it. (mid-40s woman here) And personally, I would not offer any commitment until I know I am sexually compatible with someone. This is truly a confusing post to me.

A sign that he's feeling enough to want a serious longterm relationship. I was probably a month into dating my husband when we reached that understanding. We slept together after that. Maybe it's just me, but casual short term things don't do it for me. I want someone who's all in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you last check in about this? If it was a month or so ago, I’d be honest with him — I’m waiting for a relationship to have sex, I’m very attracted to you, but if you feel like you’re not ready I wonder if maybe this just isn’t the right situation for us? You might get a response you’re not expecting, like a yes I am able to commit. But either way clarity at this point would be good.

OP: we last checked in about 2 weeks ago. At that time, I told him that I'm very attracted to him and would like to sleep with him, but that I would feel more comfortable waiting until we decide we're ready for a relationship. He knows that I am. He told me that he's "smitten" with me and that he has taken down his online dating profile. We left it as we agreed to keep doing what we're doing, no pressure.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing indefinitely, though.

And why wouldn’t he? He’s already getting sex from you. What’s the point of a formal commitment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you last check in about this? If it was a month or so ago, I’d be honest with him — I’m waiting for a relationship to have sex, I’m very attracted to you, but if you feel like you’re not ready I wonder if maybe this just isn’t the right situation for us? You might get a response you’re not expecting, like a yes I am able to commit. But either way clarity at this point would be good.

OP: we last checked in about 2 weeks ago. At that time, I told him that I'm very attracted to him and would like to sleep with him, but that I would feel more comfortable waiting until we decide we're ready for a relationship. He knows that I am. He told me that he's "smitten" with me and that he has taken down his online dating profile. We left it as we agreed to keep doing what we're doing, no pressure.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing indefinitely, though.

And why wouldn’t he? He’s already getting sex from you. What’s the point of a formal commitment?

He's not getting sex though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you last check in about this? If it was a month or so ago, I’d be honest with him — I’m waiting for a relationship to have sex, I’m very attracted to you, but if you feel like you’re not ready I wonder if maybe this just isn’t the right situation for us? You might get a response you’re not expecting, like a yes I am able to commit. But either way clarity at this point would be good.

OP: we last checked in about 2 weeks ago. At that time, I told him that I'm very attracted to him and would like to sleep with him, but that I would feel more comfortable waiting until we decide we're ready for a relationship. He knows that I am. He told me that he's "smitten" with me and that he has taken down his online dating profile. We left it as we agreed to keep doing what we're doing, no pressure.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing indefinitely, though.

This seems pretty exclusive and a relationship. I do not know what else you want.

NP I’d want a sign of commitment.

What kind of commitment? I really don't get it. (mid-40s woman here) And personally, I would not offer any commitment until I know I am sexually compatible with someone. This is truly a confusing post to me.

A sign that he's feeling enough to want a serious longterm relationship. I was probably a month into dating my husband when we reached that understanding. We slept together after that. Maybe it's just me, but casual short term things don't do it for me. I want someone who's all in.

They've been dating intensely and exclusively for three months. How is this casual or short term? If anything, OP is keeping it more casual by refusing to have sex (even though she is having sex, make no mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s clearly dating to meet his physical needs only and it looks like he’s ok with where things are with you and doesn’t need or want to escalate things. He seems to be the kind of men who will take what you offer, better than nothing or he just needs something different, especially if her gets a release.

If you last checked in two weeks ago then this is not going to turn into a relationship. Stop wasting your time.

They’re dating exclusively. What else is there before getting engaged?

He doesn’t want to claim her as his girlfriend. So they do all of the sexual things except for penetration and hopefully he takes her out on dates. He’s not dating or having sex with anyone else at the moment but things could change any time. It’s just a thing unavailable people do or people who ate not that into you but want to have company and a steady supply of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you last check in about this? If it was a month or so ago, I’d be honest with him — I’m waiting for a relationship to have sex, I’m very attracted to you, but if you feel like you’re not ready I wonder if maybe this just isn’t the right situation for us? You might get a response you’re not expecting, like a yes I am able to commit. But either way clarity at this point would be good.

OP: we last checked in about 2 weeks ago. At that time, I told him that I'm very attracted to him and would like to sleep with him, but that I would feel more comfortable waiting until we decide we're ready for a relationship. He knows that I am. He told me that he's "smitten" with me and that he has taken down his online dating profile. We left it as we agreed to keep doing what we're doing, no pressure.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing indefinitely, though.

And why wouldn’t he? He’s already getting sex from you. What’s the point of a formal commitment?

He's not getting sex though.

He is. OP said everything is being done but one thing. Oral is still sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you last check in about this? If it was a month or so ago, I’d be honest with him — I’m waiting for a relationship to have sex, I’m very attracted to you, but if you feel like you’re not ready I wonder if maybe this just isn’t the right situation for us? You might get a response you’re not expecting, like a yes I am able to commit. But either way clarity at this point would be good.

OP: we last checked in about 2 weeks ago. At that time, I told him that I'm very attracted to him and would like to sleep with him, but that I would feel more comfortable waiting until we decide we're ready for a relationship. He knows that I am. He told me that he's "smitten" with me and that he has taken down his online dating profile. We left it as we agreed to keep doing what we're doing, no pressure.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing indefinitely, though.

This seems pretty exclusive and a relationship. I do not know what else you want.

NP I’d want a sign of commitment.

What kind of commitment? I really don't get it. (mid-40s woman here) And personally, I would not offer any commitment until I know I am sexually compatible with someone. This is truly a confusing post to me.

A sign that he's feeling enough to want a serious longterm relationship. I was probably a month into dating my husband when we reached that understanding. We slept together after that. Maybe it's just me, but casual short term things don't do it for me. I want someone who's all in.

They've been dating intensely and exclusively for three months. How is this casual or short term? If anything, OP is keeping it more casual by refusing to have sex (even though she is having sex, make no mistake.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s clearly dating to meet his physical needs only and it looks like he’s ok with where things are with you and doesn’t need or want to escalate things. He seems to be the kind of men who will take what you offer, better than nothing or he just needs something different, especially if her gets a release.

If you last checked in two weeks ago then this is not going to turn into a relationship. Stop wasting your time.

They’re dating exclusively. What else is there before getting engaged?

He doesn’t want to claim her as his girlfriend. So they do all of the sexual things except for penetration and hopefully he takes her out on dates. He’s not dating or having sex with anyone else at the moment but things could change any time. It’s just a thing unavailable people do or people who ate not that into you but want to have company and a steady supply of sex.

+1. He’s keeping his options open so if he meets and sleeps with someone else, he can say “look, we were never in a relationship/formally exclusive” and bail. If he were into her, he would not be giving her the “I’m not ready for a relationship” shpiel.

[Anonymous]

Just have sex with him already!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you last check in about this? If it was a month or so ago, I’d be honest with him — I’m waiting for a relationship to have sex, I’m very attracted to you, but if you feel like you’re not ready I wonder if maybe this just isn’t the right situation for us? You might get a response you’re not expecting, like a yes I am able to commit. But either way clarity at this point would be good.

OP: we last checked in about 2 weeks ago. At that time, I told him that I'm very attracted to him and would like to sleep with him, but that I would feel more comfortable waiting until we decide we're ready for a relationship. He knows that I am. He told me that he's "smitten" with me and that he has taken down his online dating profile. We left it as we agreed to keep doing what we're doing, no pressure.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing indefinitely, though.

And why wouldn’t he? He’s already getting sex from you. What’s the point of a formal commitment?

Wow. Reading comprehension is not your strong point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you last check in about this? If it was a month or so ago, I’d be honest with him — I’m waiting for a relationship to have sex, I’m very attracted to you, but if you feel like you’re not ready I wonder if maybe this just isn’t the right situation for us? You might get a response you’re not expecting, like a yes I am able to commit. But either way clarity at this point would be good.

OP: we last checked in about 2 weeks ago. At that time, I told him that I'm very attracted to him and would like to sleep with him, but that I would feel more comfortable waiting until we decide we're ready for a relationship. He knows that I am. He told me that he's "smitten" with me and that he has taken down his online dating profile. We left it as we agreed to keep doing what we're doing, no pressure.

I don't want to keep doing the same thing indefinitely, though.

And why wouldn’t he? He’s already getting sex from you. What’s the point of a formal commitment?

Wow. Reading comprehension is not your strong point.

Lol. Neither is yours. “Everything else” is happening in bed. That is still sex.

[Anonymous]

I’m interested in how this conversation went and what kind of commitment OP needs? He deleted his apps and is not seeing anyone else and it’s been 3 months. How did you deduce he is not interested in a relationship exclusively with you from that? Op, what do you bring to the table? This doesn’t make sense. Are you a virgin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in how this conversation went and what kind of commitment OP needs? He deleted his apps and is not seeing anyone else and it’s been 3 months. How did you deduce he is not interested in a relationship exclusively with you from that? Op, what do you bring to the table? This doesn’t make sense. Are you a virgin?

That’s the lowest bar for “commitment” I have ever seen