He’s ready for sex but not a relationship

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating a guy for 3 months. We’ve been very physically intimate, but have not had intercourse. I want to wait until we decide to be in a relationship. He is wanting to take things slow in that regard, which I’m fine with.

However, the way my mind works, is that- he doesn’t know if he wants me to be his girlfriend, but he wants to have sex with me. If that’s the case, then I’ll wait to have sex with him. Am I thinking about this correctly?

[Anonymous]

Of course he wants to have s3x. Three months is a long time.

[Anonymous]

I think he wants to “take things slow” because that expands his time to play the field. I wouldn’t sleep with someone sleeping with other people because that is where diseases come from.

[Anonymous]

Foolish to waste your time with him. How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Foolish to waste your time with him. How old are you?

Op: why do you think I’m wasting my time? We’re both 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he wants to “take things slow” because that expands his time to play the field. I wouldn’t sleep with someone sleeping with other people because that is where diseases come from.

Op: he said he’s not dating anyone else.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? Is this your first relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Is this your first relationship?

Op: no I’ve been previously married and lots of boyfriends but I recently started dating and not into the whole casual sex thing, for me.

[Anonymous]

You are both in your 40’s?!? No one has time to wait on the sexual chemistry. I wouldn’t wait for you and I am a female. What exactly is the boyfriend/girlfriend title doing for you that makes it ok to have sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he wants to “take things slow” because that expands his time to play the field. I wouldn’t sleep with someone sleeping with other people because that is where diseases come from.

Op: he said he’s not dating anyone else.

So what kind of “relationship” do you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Is this your first relationship?

Op: no I’ve been previously married and lots of boyfriends but I recently started dating and not into the whole casual sex thing, for me.

OP, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex outside of a committed relationship. Just like there is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex outside of a committed relationship.

They issue here is that will you two have a committed relationship. Do you see a future with this man? At 40 and after 3 months of dating, you should be able to judge if this is a serious relationship.

Are you dating other men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are both in your 40’s?!? No one has time to wait on the sexual chemistry. I wouldn’t wait for you and I am a female. What exactly is the boyfriend/girlfriend title doing for you that makes it ok to have sex?

DP. Not everyone is like you in regards to sex. Personally, in order to have sex that is enjoyable *for me* it needs to be with someone who is monogamous with me and is going to take the time to explore and develop our sexual chemistry in a way that makes me feel safe and valued.

OP says she’s not into casual sex. That’s her preference, and IMO, the BF may say waiting doesn’t work for him but pressuring her to “hurry up” and “not make him wait” is basically rape culture.

You do you, but don’t pressure other people into sex by telling them they’re wrong to wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Is this your first relationship?

Op: no I’ve been previously married and lots of boyfriends but I recently started dating and not into the whole casual sex thing, for me.

Then it sounds like this guy isn’t a match for you. He wants to have sex without the commitment of a relationship. That doesn’t fit with what you want. Stop wasting your time and move on.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like an asshole. Don't let him do anything/ Bye!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like an asshole. Don't let him do anything/ Bye!

Why does he sound like an asshole?