Counselor telling us to end it

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP, you sound so shocked and hurt. Been there.

Also, DCUM gives horrible horrible advice for divorce.

The good advice - talk to lawyers. Figure out your rights, quickly. Do not take anything written on DCUM as gospel when it comes to things you should do legally. Visiting a lawyer doesn't mean you've given up - it means you're getting smart. You don't have to hire them, you're doing a consult. THey'll lay out the specifics of what you can expect best case and worst case. Visit another lawyer, for a second opinion.

Look at divorce busting. Might have some good ideas for you.

Look for a counselor for yourself.

Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that she spoke to him individually and he was unequivocal about wanting out. I am also pretty certain he has a side piece.

Seems like he had a session w her before your joint session.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, dont go to the therapist anymore. If he got in there early and spoke to her about stuff, then sh'es going to be against and could testify against you in court. Stay far away, no more sessions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like pure trash. I know it's scary but you should be glad to let him move out. Let him go. You stay in the house with the kids.

She can't, he bought the home prior to the marriage.

I'm so sorry OP. I'm sorry your husband checked out of the marriage, likely a long time ago. I think staying living together would still hurt too..
After this, when you heal, you will find a man one day who treasures you, and you will be happier than ever.

+1. It is over. Get a consultation with an attorney. If he bought the house prior to marriage everything before marriage is his…not sure what equity during the marriage you are entitled to. See an attorney.

[Anonymous]

Joint care of the dog. The dog goes where the kids are each switch. Looking for an apartment that allows pets is more challenging. A challenge you both should have. Look at sharing the pet costs as well.

[Anonymous]

There is likely two sides to this story. I doubt the guy is just looking for the door without good reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Joint care of the dog. The dog goes where the kids are each switch. Looking for an apartment that allows pets is more challenging. A challenge you both should have. Look at sharing the pet costs as well.

He'd probably dump the dog when it was at his place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Joint care of the dog. The dog goes where the kids are each switch. Looking for an apartment that allows pets is more challenging. A challenge you both should have. Look at sharing the pet costs as well.

He'd probably dump the dog when it was at his place.

Then he can have fun doing it in front of the kids and she can document it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s doing you a favor. Your new, better life starts today.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. As someone who’s been hurt before, let me tell you - I should have ran years ago when he first showed his true colors.

This is a gift. If your husband moved so quickly it’s clear he’s been thinking, planning. Use this to cut ties and start the rest of your life. Being along is better than waking up next to this jerk. Trust me. Sending you my best wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is likely two sides to this story. I doubt the guy is just looking for the door without good reason.

Like his AP or carefree life he wants back like when he was 23…

[Anonymous]

OP, the only piece of advice you should listen to on this thread is to get a lawyer STAT. Do nothing else -- NOTHING -- without doing that first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On our 2nd session with a marriage counselor over the phone. First time we both do counseling and she straight out tells us we should just end it. I explained that I feel he lies a lot and I know he wants out but that I want to work on it. She tell us to separate for 3 days and come back on Friday and we should make a decision. My husband loved the idea and is already checking out apartments and telling me he is putting the house on the market and that I better take the dog or he will take him to the pound. I'm sitting here with my kids completely in shock. The counselor was supposed to help us and my husband is acting like this is over because someone that has known us for 2 hours said so. The 3 days were supposed to make him realize that he wanted to make this work. He is also telling me he can put the house on the market without my permission because he bought it before we were married. I'm just in shock. He heard exactly what he wanted and is acting like he got a doctors note to get out of this marriage. I'm not even sure if he will be on the call on Friday. I just can't believe that after just 2 sessions this person can make such a determination without realizing the impact. We have a sick child and I had a miscarriage a few months ago, yet she gave my husband the okay to leave without knowing the whole story.

I am sorry you are going through this, but your husband is divorcing you. Take tonight for shock and start getting your ducks in a row.

You need an attorney, STAT. Do not, under any circumstances, move out of the house. If he leaves, change the locks and get your attorney to file whatever you need to stay in the house with the kids.

Mourn, grieve, scream, cry. Find another therapist and move on to a better life without this jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that she spoke to him individually and he was unequivocal about wanting out. I am also pretty certain he has a side piece.

this. All this.

[Anonymous]

OP - I feel for you that the therapist was unprofessional. Her job is to help you. I'm sure you confided in her and made yourself vulnerable, and betrayed that trust.
Even if she felt like the marriage was already over (which frankly is not her judgement call to make), she could've handled the situation more gently, in a way that wasn't so jarring to you. I'm sorry.