SAHM-friend has NEVER once asked about my job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t ask people about their jobs. For one, it’s usually boring and for two, it’s usually hard to explain to an outsider and for three, most people who aren’t at work don’t want to spend social time talking/thinking about work.

This is clearly about your hang up about her being a SAHM so work on that.

When you have “grown children” (per the OP), you are no longer a “SAHM.”

I guess she meant "was" . Probably wanted to mention that she never "worked" for a paycheck

[Anonymous]

Unless you work in the same field as the person you’re talking to, hearing about another person’s job is booooooring. Even DH & I don’t talk about our jobs very much at home. There’s more interesting and relevant things to talk about.

[Anonymous]

I don't even know what business some of my friends work in. They are not their jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has absolutely nothing to do with your friend being a SAHM.

I disagree. If a huge part of her day was the office, her boss, her projects, I think it would come up.

I see it as self-centeredness. If is does not exist in her bubble, it does not exist.

Has the OP mentioned her job? If not, her friend might be deliberately making an effort to be polite — by not prying into aspects of the OP’s life that the OP has not brought up herself.

It seems likely, that the two might talk about whatever they seem to have in common — which would not include OP’s job, unless OP were to bring it up. As you point out, PP, a huge part of OP’s life might be her job. If the topic hasn’t “come up”, I would think that at least initially, that would be on OP.

Funny that the OP hasn’t commented on any of this. Perhaps she’s like this with her friend ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you work in the same field as the person you’re talking to, hearing about another person’s job is booooooring. Even DH & I don’t talk about our jobs very much at home. There’s more interesting and relevant things to talk about.

Say it again for the people in the back! I actually find it's boring talking about work even to people in the same field.

[Anonymous]

I talk to friends about (1) the stuff we have in common, (2) the stuff they bring up, and (3) the stuff I bring up because I want to tell them or would like their opinion.

If I don't work with you and you never mention your job, I'm not going to bring it up. Similarly, if I've never met your family and you've never mentioned them, I am not going to pester you with questions about them. Want to know why? Because I figure there's a reason this person doesn't talk about this stuff. Maybe it's painful, maybe it's dull, maybe it's just not a source of interest for them. Maybe one day they'll decide they want to confide in me about it. Maybe not. It's up to them to decide, not me.

I also hate when people pepper me with questions about my job, family, childhood, health, etc. My MIL is like this and thinks it's a good way to "get to know" me. It's not. It makes me feel like I'm being interrogated. I have found the best way to get to know anyone is to talk about easy subjects and let them open up slowly over time as they feel comfortable. Talk about books, movies, the grandkids, current events, hobbies, travel, etc. If someone wants to share more of themselves, they will.

[Anonymous]

I don't ask about others' jobs but love to hear about them. I know of one person who compulsively talks about their jobs and asks others about theirs and it seems to make others uncomfortable. I think its weird because she is a mom with other cool things going on but rarely mentions the kid or trips.

[Anonymous]

I don't care about your job. Leave work at work or for your spouse to babble about.

[Anonymous]

You seem to hate your friend so why don’t you stop hanging out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem to hate your friend so why don’t you stop hanging out.

+1
I wonder this about many who seem to despise or look down on their "friends". What do they get out of continuing those relationships?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are both moms, but I work full time outside the home at a professional job. She has grown children but nonetheless, is fully supported by her wealthy husband.

I am not surprised that we usually wind up discussing our children (who are close in age).

What I have realized over the years though,is that she has NEVER once asked how my job is going. Am I busy? What am I working on?
It is where I spend most of my waking hours, but she shows NO interest in it whatsoever.

What do you make of that?

I can feel your judgement about her choices "fully supported byher wealthy husband" and maybe she does too. Whydo you need ber to ask questions? Do you want to brag about how important you are? Maybe she doesn't have anything to compare when you finish your talk about work. What iff she came on her and said my friend never asks me about my gardeningand I put a lot of hours in my yard. See how silly that is?

This. There's no chance she doesn't realize you look down on her. You're lucky she tolerates your boring a$$ at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has absolutely nothing to do with your friend being a SAHM.

I disagree. If a huge part of her day was the office, her boss, her projects, I think it would come up.

I see it as self-centeredness. If is does not exist in her bubble, it does not exist.

+1.

Bullshit! I work and I don't ask my friends about work unless they bring it up. For most people work isn't that interesting. OP simply doesn't have an identity outside of her job and is looking for a way to bash SAHMs. Sad.

She said she is a mom. That is an identity outside of her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t ask people about their jobs. For one, it’s usually boring and for two, it’s usually hard to explain to an outsider and for three, most people who aren’t at work don’t want to spend social time talking/thinking about work.

This is clearly about your hang up about her being a SAHM so work on that.

When you have “grown children” (per the OP), you are no longer a “SAHM.”

I guess she meant "was" . Probably wanted to mention that she never "worked" for a paycheck

What should she call her, a kept woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has absolutely nothing to do with your friend being a SAHM.

I disagree. If a huge part of her day was the office, her boss, her projects, I think it would come up.

I see it as self-centeredness. If is does not exist in her bubble, it does not exist.

+1.

Bullshit! I work and I don't ask my friends about work unless they bring it up. For most people work isn't that interesting. OP simply doesn't have an identity outside of her job and is looking for a way to bash SAHMs. Sad.

She said she is a mom. That is an identity outside of her job.

Being a mom is not your identity. Work is op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you work in the same field as the person you’re talking to, hearing about another person’s job is booooooring. Even DH & I don’t talk about our jobs very much at home. There’s more interesting and relevant things to talk about.

You must have boring friends. I know researchers and photographers and journalists. What they do with their professional lives is really cool and interesting.