SAHM-friend has NEVER once asked about my job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would want to hear a NASA engineer's opinion about space tourism.

I would ask my pediatrician friend how her practice has changed in light of the pandemic.

I might ask a lawyer what he thinks of the Jan 6 prosecutions or how Texas' abortion law might fare in the supreme court.

What do you people talk about at dinner parties? Who you go to for botox?

Current events, recent or upcoming travel, our families, and yes sometimes our jobs if- for example- one is a vaccine researcher and pediatric covid vaccines are on the horizon. But if someone goes “so, Susan, how’s the old law firm these days?” it means that we have run out of more interesting topics and it’s probably time to wrap up the dinner party.

+1. If space tourism comes up organically and the NASA engineer wants to opine, I’m interested in hearing their views. But I’m not going to pepper them with manufactured questions about space tourism like it’s an interview.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't feel my life is superior to hers in any way. But I think that where I spend all day Monday though Friday does not have to be off the table. It is AS deserving of discussion as what she does all week.

NOT better but real and worthy of inclusion in the conversation.

Why do most posters feel the need to disrespect a professional woman's contributions to the larger society?

If you want to talk about it, bring it up. And what’s this fixation with being a “professional”? If you waited tables, would it be okay for her not to ask about your work? Where do you draw the line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would want to hear a NASA engineer's opinion about space tourism.

I would ask my pediatrician friend how her practice has changed in light of the pandemic.

I might ask a lawyer what he thinks of the Jan 6 prosecutions or how Texas' abortion law might fare in the supreme court.

What do you people talk about at dinner parties? Who you go to for botox?

Books, society, current events, art, anything personal of interest (marriages, graduations, births, etc.) Sometimes this may involve our jobs, but generally not since we all engage with plenty of interesting things that aren't work related. You don't need to be a NASA engineer to have an opinion on space tourism -- I would honestly be more interested in an anthropologist, economist, and psychologist's opinion on that, personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't feel my life is superior to hers in any way. But I think that where I spend all day Monday though Friday does not have to be off the table. It is AS deserving of discussion as what she does all week.

NOT better but real and worthy of inclusion in the conversation.

Why do most posters feel the need to disrespect a professional woman's contributions to the larger society?

LOL. You sure had an odd way of expressing that in your original post. Amazing you are too blind to see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would want to hear a NASA engineer's opinion about space tourism.

I would ask my pediatrician friend how her practice has changed in light of the pandemic.

I might ask a lawyer what he thinks of the Jan 6 prosecutions or how Texas' abortion law might fare in the supreme court.

What do you people talk about at dinner parties? Who you go to for botox?

Books, society, current events, art, anything personal of interest (marriages, graduations, births, etc.) Sometimes this may involve our jobs, but generally not since we all engage with plenty of interesting things that aren't work related. You don't need to be a NASA engineer to have an opinion on space tourism -- I would honestly be more interested in an anthropologist, economist, and psychologist's opinion on that, personally.

Then you get the point that having discussions that draw from someone's professional expertise can be informative and fascinating.

[Anonymous]

I've worked, and I've been a SAHM. I never ask anyone about their job. You know why? Because jobs are boring, and I don't want to listen to someone drone on about it, or give them an opening to pitch me on their product or service. And if they bring it up, I response, "Oh, okay" and change the subject. I'm not going there. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Do you ask about hers?

[Anonymous]

I work outside the home and very, very rarely ask friends about work. If they bring up looking for a new position or being super busy I'm happy to talk about it, but we would much rather talk about family, mutual friends, travel, kids, TV, anything other than work, really.

[Anonymous]

OP I could be your friend (and maybe I am)
I know your work it is a very important part of your life but I have hard time to relate with you. I don’t have the knowledge to understand the details of your important projects and honestly (if this is you) now I feel even more embarassed to talk about my very own simple daily life because I feel judged and you surely cannot relate with sleepless nights, grumpy spouse or doggy mess on the carpet.
I think if we want to be friends we need to focus on each other more as persons. We may be different and living very different lives but we both have our own dreams, hopes and fears

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would want to hear a NASA engineer's opinion about space tourism.

I would ask my pediatrician friend how her practice has changed in light of the pandemic.

I might ask a lawyer what he thinks of the Jan 6 prosecutions or how Texas' abortion law might fare in the supreme court.

What do you people talk about at dinner parties? Who you go to for botox?

Books, society, current events, art, anything personal of interest (marriages, graduations, births, etc.) Sometimes this may involve our jobs, but generally not since we all engage with plenty of interesting things that aren't work related. You don't need to be a NASA engineer to have an opinion on space tourism -- I would honestly be more interested in an anthropologist, economist, and psychologist's opinion on that, personally.

Then you get the point that having discussions that draw from someone's professional expertise can be informative and fascinating.

Yes, but that's not "asking about your job." It's not a question of "what do you think *as an economist who probably has never written a paper or done research on this* about space tourism?" It's just asking all your friends and family what they think about space tourism based on the diversity of their experience both in work and out of it. Maybe an economist would respond with something resulting from their professional life, but they're just ask likely and able to join the discussion based on their extensive experience reading science fiction. A SAHM can chime in with something she learned by helping one of her kids with a science project or reading the news. Conversation doesn't have to be weirdly targeted at what you do to pay the bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't feel my life is superior to hers in any way. But I think that where I spend all day Monday though Friday does not have to be off the table. It is AS deserving of discussion as what she does all week.

NOT better but real and worthy of inclusion in the conversation.

Why do most posters feel the need to disrespect a professional woman's contributions to the larger society?

Does she refuse to listen to you or something?? Just because she doesn’t initiate the conversation doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it. You are offended she doesn’t ask, and you have no right to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I have this straight: so hearing about her dog or curtains or in-laws is fascinating, and my overseas trip to present ground-breaking science is boring.

And it is rude for her to inquire about the public facing part of my life, but not my retirement plans or medical history?

These "arguments" do not add up.

You sound cool.

And no, nobody wants to hear about your “ground-breaking” science project. Boring AF.

I guess if you are anti-intellectual.

Have fun dissecting last night's episode of Squid.

I have a graduate degree in Molecular Biology and I would love to dissect Squid! The smartest co-worker I ever had the pleasure of working with (Cal Tech & Harvard--PhD ) would spend time in my office talking about all kinds of Pop Culture--the Facts of Life, etc. My father also knew pretty much every pop reference, newest technology, music, art, etc., you name it. That's the thing about the truly intelligent--they are not one-dimensional but true renaissance people.

[Anonymous]

Agree with pp-- just talk about it OP.

I am the opposite. I do not want to talk about my job. I a Managing Director of a retained executive search firm. People always want me to get them, their kids, their neighbors jobs. It does not work like that. We are retained by cos. to find specific people for specific jobs. I can offer general advice and empathy for someone who is unemployed, but that is probably it.

OP I think your friend is being polite and is waiting for you to take the lead. I agree with some others that many jobs are going to sound really boring to those not in your field unless you are Tom Brady or Serena Williams.

[Anonymous]

Most of the people on here are boring midlevel drones at some govt agency or contractor or NGO. You and your colleagues might be interested in what you're doing, but nobody else is. The self importance in DC about jobs is really silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've worked, and I've been a SAHM. I never ask anyone about their job. You know why? Because jobs are boring, and I don't want to listen to someone drone on about it, or give them an opening to pitch me on their product or service. And if they bring it up, I response, "Oh, okay" and change the subject. I'm not going there. Ever.

I have to agree.

I’m not a SAHM, but most jobs are pretty boring to talk about. Even if your job is exciting or interesting, most of the things that you are allowed to talk about and that are easily relatable to people outside your field are boring. You can talk about how your boss sucks or your hours are too long or issues with co-workers. But it’s rare that people talk about their actual work.