SAHM-friend has NEVER once asked about my job

[Anonymous]

We are both moms, but I work full time outside the home at a professional job. She has grown children but nonetheless, is fully supported by her wealthy husband.

I am not surprised that we usually wind up discussing our children (who are close in age).

What I have realized over the years though,is that she has NEVER once asked how my job is going. Am I busy? What am I working on?
It is where I spend most of my waking hours, but she shows NO interest in it whatsoever.

What do you make of that?

[Anonymous]

My first reaction is to wonder what your friend’s response is when you talk with her about your job.

[Anonymous]

Aside from her children, do you ask how she spends her time—what she’s reading, interests, hobbies, travel, etc.?

I’m not saying you haven’t. Just asking if you have. If you have lots to talk about and that just hasn’t come up…OK. If you’ve actively tried to tell her about your work because you are interested in it or are passionate about it and she ignores it, then that’s kind of an issue.

Are you generally happy with your friendship? Do you have lots to talk about ? If so, let it go—who cares? Talk about work with your coworkers!

[Anonymous]

I don't ask my friends about work either.

[Anonymous]

She cares more about other aspects of your life, that you two have in common?

[Anonymous]

So what? Why would she ask about your job? This post is weird. I have always worked. I do not expect anyone to ask about my job. I do not ask friends who are working moms about their jobs either.

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to think or talk about my job any more than I have to, let alone someone else’s.

Is she kind? Is she fun to be with? Does she care about you?

[Anonymous]

I don’t ask people about their jobs. For one, it’s usually boring and for two, it’s usually hard to explain to an outsider and for three, most people who aren’t at work don’t want to spend social time talking/thinking about work.

This is clearly about your hang up about her being a SAHM so work on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are both moms, but I work full time outside the home at a professional job. She has grown children but nonetheless, is fully supported by her wealthy husband.

I am not surprised that we usually wind up discussing our children (who are close in age).

What I have realized over the years though,is that she has NEVER once asked how my job is going. Am I busy? What am I working on?
It is where I spend most of my waking hours, but she shows NO interest in it whatsoever.

What do you make of that?

I can feel your judgement about her choices "fully supported byher wealthy husband" and maybe she does too. Whydo you need ber to ask questions? Do you want to brag about how important you are? Maybe she doesn't have anything to compare when you finish your talk about work. What iff she came on her and said my friend never asks me about my gardeningand I put a lot of hours in my yard. See how silly that is?

[Anonymous]

The last thing I want to talk about when I’m hanging out with friends is my job. And I really love my job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has grown children but nonetheless, is fully supported by her wealthy husband.

You sound disdainful of the fact that she doesn't work, and I'm sure it's not lost on her. Probably better that it's not a topic of conversation, actually.

[Anonymous]

You sound resentful. Do you ever ask about her day?

[Anonymous]

The only friends I talk to about by job are fellow lawyers, because they’re the only ones who are remotely interested.

But if your expectation is that she will ask about your job, do you ask her about all of her interests and activities outside the ones you have in common?

[Anonymous]

You've probably mentioned enough about it that she either finds it boring or doesn't understand it. Don't stand on ceremony though - you seem, from this post, like someone looking for a problem. If she's into bananas and you're working on a robotic banana that tells you in Spanish if you need more or less potassium, them just share that with her.

My friend is an editor, and I never ask her "hey, edit anything interesting lately?" because I just assume she won't stand on ceremony and will simply share if she's excited about something going on at work.

[Anonymous]

OP you don’t have manners and she does. It’s poor form to ask about a persons job unless the person volunteers the information.