SAHM-friend has NEVER once asked about my job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you work in the same field as the person you’re talking to, hearing about another person’s job is booooooring. Even DH & I don’t talk about our jobs very much at home. There’s more interesting and relevant things to talk about.

You must have boring friends. I know researchers and photographers and journalists. What they do with their professional lives is really cool and interesting.

In broad strokes what they do may be interesting, but the day-to-day details often are not.

Exactly. I fall into one of the so-called interesting jobs. I still don't want to talk about work all the time.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people in this area, myself included, have jobs they can't really talk about outside the office. Many of us have learned not to ask. Also, after spending my single years living on the Hill, I learned that if you ask some people about work at your peril -- they will not shut up about the most minute details of things you are not in the mood to talk about.

[Anonymous]

OP, since your friend couldn't care less, we can be your captive audience. Tell us about your role at some dogsht non-profit and how important you are. Let's hear some chatter about how sassy and snarky you can be in the break room and how everyone laughed when you said "Well, that happened."

[Anonymous]

We gotta stop using work for our sense of purpose/identity...

[Anonymous]

Has OP been back? I guess she's sad she didn't get the SAHM bashing thread she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t ask people about their jobs. For one, it’s usually boring and for two, it’s usually hard to explain to an outsider and for three, most people who aren’t at work don’t want to spend social time talking/thinking about work.

This is clearly about your hang up about her being a SAHM so work on that.

When you have “grown children” (per the OP), you are no longer a “SAHM.”

I guess she meant "was" . Probably wanted to mention that she never "worked" for a paycheck

What should she call her, a kept woman?

Why the need to call her anything? Why not just say friend? Why is it your business to judge someone else's life. I am sure friend has contributed to the family and marriage. Just because SAHM aren't paid doesn't mean they are "kept"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you don’t have manners and she does. It’s poor form to ask about a persons job unless the person volunteers the information.

This is not true at all.

[Anonymous]

Let me see if I have this straight: so hearing about her dog or curtains or in-laws is fascinating, and my overseas trip to present ground-breaking science is boring.

And it is rude for her to inquire about the public facing part of my life, but not my retirement plans or medical history?

These "arguments" do not add up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has absolutely nothing to do with your friend being a SAHM.

I disagree. If a huge part of her day was the office, her boss, her projects, I think it would come up.

I see it as self-centeredness. If is does not exist in her bubble, it does not exist.

What? That’s insane.

[Anonymous]

only someone from dc area would be offended another person didnt ask about their job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I have this straight: so hearing about her dog or curtains or in-laws is fascinating, and my overseas trip to present ground-breaking science is boring.

And it is rude for her to inquire about the public facing part of my life, but not my retirement plans or medical history?

These "arguments" do not add up.

You sound cool.

And no, nobody wants to hear about your “ground-breaking” science project. Boring AF.

[Anonymous]

SAHM who has working friends and often when I ask about their jobs, they don't want to talk about it.
They might bring up some minute details sometimes, but several have said "Ugh, don't want to talk about it. It's not important. C'mon, let's enjoy our kids."
Maybe your friend is trying to respect you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I have this straight: so hearing about her dog or curtains or in-laws is fascinating, and my overseas trip to present ground-breaking science is boring.

And it is rude for her to inquire about the public facing part of my life, but not my retirement plans or medical history?

These "arguments" do not add up.

Hearing about dogs and curtains and in-laws can definitely be fascinating and to me they are almost always interesting. I hate dogs but I love hearing what others' dogs do, I am always trying to figure out how to make my house look nicer and curtains are part of that, and in laws...when are they not interesting? I often get really into these conversations and part of that is I'm open-minded and choose to take an interest in what my friends are interested in.

I only ask about somebody's job when there is a lull in the conversation and I'm desperate for something to talk about. I know my husband sometimes doesn't want to talk about his job sometimes because it's stressful and he needs a break from thinking about it.

I do think it's odd to ask about medical history or retirement plans when somebody hasn't volunteered information about it. But if you want to talk about your job, just talk about your job! If you don't want to talk about curtains, politely change the subject! If you don't want to talk about your medical history, deflect! This is just social interaction 101.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We gotta stop using work for our sense of purpose/identity...

It is a PART of one's identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:only someone from dc area would be offended another person didnt ask about their job

In 25 years, yeah, I think it is very odd.