Weird situation with new neighbor from high school - WWYD

[Anonymous]

It’s possible this thread is a troll. All these PPs who were bullied in HS need to get some therapy and soon !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, bullies very rarely remember their victims or what they did to them. They are shocked or confused when adults are still psychotically affected. OP gave us her own version of High School. I believe she was cruel to her neighbor. Her neighbor is obviously damaged and could use therapy. But OP needs to face the fact that she was mean to someone in High School and had a real effect on this person's life.

I believe you were a bully, and you cannot defend yourself because it will be your version.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is a troll.

What would be the reason for that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The neighbor sounds like she doesn't understand social norms, is hyper-focused on perceived slights, and unable to self soothe. You know, the kind of behavior that gets you bullied as a kid.

The word is vulnerable. Bullies pick on vulnerable kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The neighbor sounds like she doesn't understand social norms, is hyper-focused on perceived slights, and unable to self soothe. You know, the kind of behavior that gets you bullied as a kid.

The word is vulnerable. Bullies pick on vulnerable kids.

Im confused are you talking about the neighbor haranguing OPs kids? Is she the bully?

[Anonymous]

Do you think that the neighbor might be on DCUM?
If so, would love to hear her side of the story.

What was Jess like in High School? How did she treat you? What specifically do you remember?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The neighbor sounds like she doesn't understand social norms, is hyper-focused on perceived slights, and unable to self soothe. You know, the kind of behavior that gets you bullied as a kid.

The word is vulnerable. Bullies pick on vulnerable kids.

Im confused are you talking about the neighbor haranguing OPs kids? Is she the bully?

+1. And if this is a real situation…if this adult woman is actually approaching OP’s kids with her grievances from 20 years ago, imagine what she must have been like back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care much what anybody was like 30 years ago in high school. Unless you murdered your family or something. Then I might be scared. . But people who have changed and evolved, even as adults, can be really amazing. What's most important is the person you have become.

Well sure, if the person’s behavior 30 years ago didn’t impact you directly, then it’s easy for you to focus on who they are now and “forgive” stuff from their past.

But the expectation that someone who might have been traumatized by their actions 30 years ago should feel the same way about it is absurd.

You are assuming it is your experience and opinion of the events 30 years ago that matter. They don’t! What you think of OP and her friends from high school is actually irrelevant to this conversation.

I'm not speaking to the socially awkward, child stalker new neighbor. I was speaking to all the preexisting neighbors. And myself. When given the option to chose socially normal OP versus personality disordered new neighbor, they will go with OP.

Think about it: If new neighbor is harping on a schoolyard slight from 30 years ago, spreading it gossiping to all the neighbors she doesn't know from Adam's cat, will you be next on her hit list? Will she pulled something you do now out of a bag in 30 years and tell all your new neighbors? Will she stalk your children and scare them? I'm team OP.

[Anonymous]

I have been hurt by others who I am sure have no recollection of hurting me. And I am equally sure I may have hurt some and am not aware. As an adult, I think the lesson learned is to be kind to everyone you meet and try to teach you kids the same (who may or may not absorb the life lesson).

[Anonymous]

OP was a mean girl in high school and now trying to start the same thing again against the new neighbor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s possible this thread is a troll. All these PPs who were bullied in HS need to get some therapy and soon !

I mean probably but I also feel like people who bully, and protect bullies, and defend bullying because “it was a long time ago” and “you should be over this by now” also need therapy. The problem is that people who get bullied often do seek out therapy because it’s one of the few options available for addressing what happened, but the people who bully and protect/defend bullies either don’t go to therapy or don’t address this specific issue.

Anyway, making this a problem exclusively for people who have experienced bullying us weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is a troll.

Bingo

[Anonymous]

I think if OP actually bullied the girl she'd remember it. Don't you remember who was called which names in your school? I could tell you to this day.

More likely that OP (and her friends) excluded and ignored the girl, which hurt her feelings. Maybe they even dismissed her in a mean way when she tried to join their group, or said she wasn't their friend. In this case I wouldn't be surprised if OP has no recollection but the other girl is scarred.

And even if OP called her a pig-face, shoved her in a locker, and left gum on her seat - going up to OP's minor children with this is out of line and unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s possible this thread is a troll. All these PPs who were bullied in HS need to get some therapy and soon !

I mean probably but I also feel like people who bully, and protect bullies, and defend bullying because “it was a long time ago” and “you should be over this by now” also need therapy. The problem is that people who get bullied often do seek out therapy because it’s one of the few options available for addressing what happened, but the people who bully and protect/defend bullies either don’t go to therapy or don’t address this specific issue.

Anyway, making this a problem exclusively for people who have experienced bullying us weird.

+100