Weird situation with new neighbor from high school - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whole lot of pathetic 30 and 40-something professional victims here still clinging to perceived high school slights. As an orange imbecile would say, sad.

And before you clap back with the idiotic HARRR HARRR FOUND THE MEAN GIRL BULLY, I was in the arts in a huge high school and other than sitting next to them in English or math class, I never interacted with any kid in my high school who wasn’t in my arts discipline, so no, I was neither “popular” in the larger school nor a “bully”

Maybe, but you also don’t state that you were bullied. Until you have experienced that, you don’t have a leg to stand on.

NP. I was bullied throughout high school by a particular girl a year older than me. My friends and I joke that she was born mean. She’s now a pastor’s wife. For real. But I would NEVER approach her husband, let alone her minor kids and tell them their wife/mom was mean to me 30 years ago. It’s one thing to approach the person you have an issue with, it’s completely different to approach the person’s family!

I disagree. It's weird AF to approach anybody about something that happened 30 YEARS AGO! The window of opportunity/statute of limitations has long since passed. Get over it or risk seeming crazy for approaching the person with 30 year-old news.

Agree. Unless it’s rape.

[Anonymous]

Again - we shouldn’t take IPs account at face value. Her perception of high school and also of current interactions are very biased. I’d live to here the whole story from neighbors POV. It’s interesting that her husband got involved. Always 2 sides....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two factors at play here:
1. OP was probably a bully in high school and either doesn't want to admit it or is choosing to not remember
2. Neighbor was obviously damaged by OPs mean girl behavior. But neighbor is also acting inappropriately by approaching OPs kids.
CONCLUSION: OP should apologize and neighbor should seek therapy.

I would apologize only with the condition that crazy neighbor stay far away from my kids and me going forward. She sounds unwell. And i doubt that woukd give the neighbor the closure she thinks she needs.

I disagree. It might actually give the neighbor some closure.

Why do her needs trump all? She went about it the wrong way and doesn’t deserve an apology now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again - we shouldn’t take IPs account at face value. Her perception of high school and also of current interactions are very biased. I’d live to here the whole story from neighbors POV. It’s interesting that her husband got involved. Always 2 sides....

But of the two people involved its neighbor’s actions that have been grossly inappropriate. I would not be inclined to get her side after her most recent actions. Her hands are not clean, yet people are falling all over themselves to give her the benefit of the doubt. Very odd.

[Anonymous]

I don't care much what anybody was like 30 years ago in high school. Unless you murdered your family or something. Then I might be scared. . But people who have changed and evolved, even as adults, can be really amazing. What's most important is the person you have become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again - we shouldn’t take IPs account at face value. Her perception of high school and also of current interactions are very biased. I’d live to here the whole story from neighbors POV. It’s interesting that her husband got involved. Always 2 sides....

But of the two people involved its neighbor’s actions that have been grossly inappropriate. I would not be inclined to get her side after her most recent actions. Her hands are not clean, yet people are falling all over themselves to give her the benefit of the doubt. Very odd.

They were school children. 30 years ago. I would be embarrassed to do such a thing as bring it up. Who knows, they could have been great neighbors but for this weirdness now with the drama. Why create new drama today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you don't remember what you did says a lot. You likely acted like a mean girl and that woman was so unimportant in your mean teen world that you erased her from your memory. I believe she is right. She will NEVER forget how you made her feel.

You better apologize and try to make it up to her.

Hahaha "you better?" Who the hell do you think you are?

Pro Tip: Successful adults don't waste one moment of their lives perseverating about high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. I just read this whole thread and whether or not the OP bullied this neighbor, neighbor was WAY out of line approaching the kids and saying what she did. How are some not seeing how wrong this is??

Agree. I was bullied in school so I know how hurtful it is.

If the neighbor truly feels victimized by OP and needs to say something, then she should do it in a 1:1 communication.

If I were OP's victim I would be more stealthy and less confrontational, but OP would have an enemy in her own neighborhood plotting revenge. Revenge is best served up cold. What your back OP, you got it coming.

From the content and the word choices, this post has to be a current high school student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again - we shouldn’t take IPs account at face value. Her perception of high school and also of current interactions are very biased. I’d live to here the whole story from neighbors POV. It’s interesting that her husband got involved. Always 2 sides....

But of the two people involved its neighbor’s actions that have been grossly inappropriate. I would not be inclined to get her side after her most recent actions. Her hands are not clean, yet people are falling all over themselves to give her the benefit of the doubt. Very odd.

How do you know? You’re judging all this from OPs account which is obviously in her favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again - we shouldn’t take IPs account at face value. Her perception of high school and also of current interactions are very biased. I’d live to here the whole story from neighbors POV. It’s interesting that her husband got involved. Always 2 sides....

But of the two people involved its neighbor’s actions that have been grossly inappropriate. I would not be inclined to get her side after her most recent actions. Her hands are not clean, yet people are falling all over themselves to give her the benefit of the doubt. Very odd.

How do you know? You’re judging all this from OPs account which is obviously in her favor.

So, you believe that the OP is lying about her children being contacted but believe that the neighbor was definitely bullied?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again - we shouldn’t take IPs account at face value. Her perception of high school and also of current interactions are very biased. I’d live to here the whole story from neighbors POV. It’s interesting that her husband got involved. Always 2 sides....

But of the two people involved its neighbor’s actions that have been grossly inappropriate. I would not be inclined to get her side after her most recent actions. Her hands are not clean, yet people are falling all over themselves to give her the benefit of the doubt. Very odd.

How do you know? You’re judging all this from OPs account which is obviously in her favor.

So, you believe that the OP is lying about her children being contacted but believe that the neighbor was definitely bullied?

Didn’t say that. I’m saying there is most likely some skewed information in the OPs story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care much what anybody was like 30 years ago in high school. Unless you murdered your family or something. Then I might be scared. . But people who have changed and evolved, even as adults, can be really amazing. What's most important is the person you have become.

Well sure, if the person’s behavior 30 years ago didn’t impact you directly, then it’s easy for you to focus on who they are now and “forgive” stuff from their past.

But the expectation that someone who might have been traumatized by their actions 30 years ago should feel the same way about it is absurd.

You are assuming it is your experience and opinion of the events 30 years ago that matter. They don’t! What you think of OP and her friends from high school is actually irrelevant to this conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again - we shouldn’t take IPs account at face value. Her perception of high school and also of current interactions are very biased. I’d live to here the whole story from neighbors POV. It’s interesting that her husband got involved. Always 2 sides....

But of the two people involved its neighbor’s actions that have been grossly inappropriate. I would not be inclined to get her side after her most recent actions. Her hands are not clean, yet people are falling all over themselves to give her the benefit of the doubt. Very odd.

How do you know? You’re judging all this from OPs account which is obviously in her favor.

So, you believe that the OP is lying about her children being contacted but believe that the neighbor was definitely bullied?

Didn’t say that. I’m saying there is most likely some skewed information in the OPs story.

You decided to give one the benefit of the doubt over the other for some reason. What is your bias or agenda here? You are not being impartial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care much what anybody was like 30 years ago in high school. Unless you murdered your family or something. Then I might be scared. . But people who have changed and evolved, even as adults, can be really amazing. What's most important is the person you have become.

Well sure, if the person’s behavior 30 years ago didn’t impact you directly, then it’s easy for you to focus on who they are now and “forgive” stuff from their past.

But the expectation that someone who might have been traumatized by their actions 30 years ago should feel the same way about it is absurd.

You are assuming it is your experience and opinion of the events 30 years ago that matter. They don’t! What you think of OP and her friends from high school is actually irrelevant to this conversation.

Being traumatized doesn’t make it ok to stalk children. Get a grip and get help if you were formerly bullied. It doesn’t give a person carte blanche to be a sociopath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I normally say something shocking in return like, “You’re right, I am such a b*#ch. You should ask my husband and kids.” Normally people are stunned and are not sure how to respond. I then normally laugh and walk away breezily.

If she approaches your children again just have them say something like “you’re right, she is the worst!”

Always say it in a friendly way with a smile - makes them more nervous.

Can we be friends? I need you in my life