DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t just kill his plans. There is nothing wrong with a kid staying up late watching a movie once in a pandemic. Did he put the kid to bed when he was done with the call? That would have been my sticking point.

We'll never know, since OP screamed at him in the middle of his call. In all likelihood kid would have drifted off to sleep then DH would have carried to his bed later. Kid was calm and happy. Hardly a big deal.

This. How anyone can think the husband deserved being screamed at publicly is just a little insane.

I mean how public was it? A few guys who he has a relationship with. Who are also on zoom and most likely have kids and understand that stuff like this comes up. Shouldn’t, but it does. And only had to do was hit mute or turn his camera off to talk to his wife for a few minutes. And maybe say goodbye and help with the kids. It was t like it was on live tv. Let’s not make it into something more than it was.

Uh, no. It's not okay to scream at a spouse in front of friends for pretty much any reason. And certainly not this one. I've never seen any of my friends or their spouses behave like this and I'd be concerned if I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you overreacted and owe him an apology.

+100. And I will go a step further to state that I think you intentionally scheduled your call to conflict with his, which was passive-aggressive behavior. Kids don't need a story read to them every night. I 100% side with your husband on this one..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some of you missed that the kid wasn’t even in their room.

They were shelved, like a book until mom came to bed to manage.

I would have hopped in bed and snuggled with my kid.

Dad could move the kid or sleep elsewhere.

This literally happened in my house last week. NBD.

If it was NBD, dad could have done the same and joined his call after child was out. It’s not like it’s a one off, it’s a weekly event.

[Anonymous]

No zoom for anyone for a month. Go to your rooms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some of you missed that the kid wasn’t even in their room.

They were shelved, like a book until mom came to bed to manage.

I would have hopped in bed and snuggled with my kid.

Dad could move the kid or sleep elsewhere.

This literally happened in my house last week. NBD.

Exactly. Manufactured drama, with several posters piling on because they're constantly pissed at their husbands too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No zoom for anyone for a month. Go to your rooms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some of you missed that the kid wasn’t even in their room.

They were shelved, like a book until mom came to bed to manage.

I would have hopped in bed and snuggled with my kid.

Dad could move the kid or sleep elsewhere.

This literally happened in my house last week. NBD.

Exactly. Manufactured drama, with several posters piling on because they're constantly pissed at their husbands too.

And I see it as the converse. Lots of lazy dads or simply resentful men demonizing not getting their way. It’s interesting!

[Anonymous]

You all make "bedtime routine" into this big thing. That fault is on you. Tell the kids to get to bed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some of you missed that the kid wasn’t even in their room.

They were shelved, like a book until mom came to bed to manage.

I would have hopped in bed and snuggled with my kid.

Dad could move the kid or sleep elsewhere.

This literally happened in my house last week. NBD.

If it was NBD, dad could have done the same and joined his call after child was out. It’s not like it’s a one off, it’s a weekly event.

Dad did not need to sacrifice what was probably his only pleasurable activity during the week to hang out with a child who wasn't ready to fall asleep. Kid was happy, would have fallen asleep there just fine. Then could have been handled as PP said. Only drama queens, or ones with consistently terrible spouses, would make this into a dramatic event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some of you missed that the kid wasn’t even in their room.

They were shelved, like a book until mom came to bed to manage.

I would have hopped in bed and snuggled with my kid.

Dad could move the kid or sleep elsewhere.

This literally happened in my house last week. NBD.

If it was NBD, dad could have done the same and joined his call after child was out. It’s not like it’s a one off, it’s a weekly event.

Dad did not need to sacrifice what was probably his only pleasurable activity during the week to hang out with a child who wasn't ready to fall asleep. Kid was happy, would have fallen asleep there just fine. Then could have been handled as PP said. Only drama queens, or ones with consistently terrible spouses, would make this into a dramatic event.

Dad agreed to help mom out. It’s a lack of follow through. Not really about bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some of you missed that the kid wasn’t even in their room.

They were shelved, like a book until mom came to bed to manage.

I would have hopped in bed and snuggled with my kid.

Dad could move the kid or sleep elsewhere.

This literally happened in my house last week. NBD.

Exactly. Manufactured drama, with several posters piling on because they're constantly pissed at their husbands too.

+1000 the fact that anyone even considers this some kind of terrible parenting misdeed is Who exactly was hurt here? No one. Parenting wasn't done the way OP wanted it done, period.

[Anonymous]

For all we know they worked it out last night. It was a heated post. But likely resolve in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some of you missed that the kid wasn’t even in their room.

They were shelved, like a book until mom came to bed to manage.

I would have hopped in bed and snuggled with my kid.

Dad could move the kid or sleep elsewhere.

This literally happened in my house last week. NBD.

If it was NBD, dad could have done the same and joined his call after child was out. It’s not like it’s a one off, it’s a weekly event.

Dad did not need to sacrifice what was probably his only pleasurable activity during the week to hang out with a child who wasn't ready to fall asleep. Kid was happy, would have fallen asleep there just fine. Then could have been handled as PP said. Only drama queens, or ones with consistently terrible spouses, would make this into a dramatic event.

Dad agreed to help mom out. It’s a lack of follow through. Not really about bedtime.

Kid was quietly enjoying a relaxing activity prior to falling asleep. Once asleep, DH could have put him back in his bed. And?

[Anonymous]

When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some of you missed that the kid wasn’t even in their room.

They were shelved, like a book until mom came to bed to manage.

I would have hopped in bed and snuggled with my kid.

Dad could move the kid or sleep elsewhere.

This literally happened in my house last week. NBD.

If it was NBD, dad could have done the same and joined his call after child was out. It’s not like it’s a one off, it’s a weekly event.

Dad did not need to sacrifice what was probably his only pleasurable activity during the week to hang out with a child who wasn't ready to fall asleep. Kid was happy, would have fallen asleep there just fine. Then could have been handled as PP said. Only drama queens, or ones with consistently terrible spouses, would make this into a dramatic event.

Yeah, I think this pretty much captures it. Some posters are clearly resentful of their own spouses' "bad parenting" so uncritically pile on with OP. No one has rationally explained what he did that was so awful. Kid hadn't fallen asleep yet, but would have if mom had just let him be and focused on enjoyed her time with her friends. Kid was not unhappy or in danger. Dad could have moved him to his bed later. Such a nothing burger, it's shocking there is this long a thread on it. But that says more abut the number of frustrated and angry wives on this thread than the actual incident imo.