Don't Let a Guy Waste Your Most Eligible Years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. Sparky? That's something my grandfather would say.

PP here. I'm 28, so maybe it's cyclical?

NP. I'm 26, and I took it as you being sarcastic, kind of making fun of that MRA loser for being so regressive.

I didn't think that was your genuine, whole hearted attempt at an insult.

I dont know if the other poster did or what, but it was obvious to me that it was mockery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a woman in her late twenties dating a guy who hasn't proposed what should you do? Dump him?

...you do realize you can propose to him, right?

My wife proposed to me. Same with a lot of my friends who are married. Then again, I'm from California, and we of the West Coast master race aren't saddled with a lot of the hilarious WASP bullshit you guys are, so that might account for the difference.

I have two guy friends who have said that they would break up with a woman who proposed or look at her differently. Not that I agree, but proposing to men isn't something that all men are eager for either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
this is actually not that important (even if true). the key issue here is that, after one is 35, the quality of available men becomes absolutely terrible. it's not about women not looking that good or not being attractive, it's that men who are single at that point are, basically, garbage - either guys whom nobody wanted or guys who have one or another major somewhat hidden issue.

i am 42, married for a long time, and when i look around i think every single guy i ever had even a minor crush on is married with kids. there basically nobody left that i would have interest in if i had to look around. good stuff moves fast.

LOL, does Amal Amaluddin know that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a woman in her late twenties dating a guy who hasn't proposed what should you do? Dump him?

...you do realize you can propose to him, right?

My wife proposed to me. Same with a lot of my friends who are married. Then again, I'm from California, and we of the West Coast master race aren't saddled with a lot of the hilarious WASP bullshit you guys are, so that might account for the difference.

Ask your wife if she would have preferred that YOU had proposed to her instead, and report back, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a woman in her late twenties dating a guy who hasn't proposed what should you do? Dump him?

...you do realize you can propose to him, right?

My wife proposed to me. Same with a lot of my friends who are married. Then again, I'm from California, and we of the West Coast master race aren't saddled with a lot of the hilarious WASP bullshit you guys are, so that might account for the difference.

I have two guy friends who have said that they would break up with a woman who proposed or look at her differently. Not that I agree, but proposing to men isn't something that all men are eager for either.

Those dudes should either fix themselves or die alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a woman in her late twenties dating a guy who hasn't proposed what should you do? Dump him?

...you do realize you can propose to him, right?

My wife proposed to me. Same with a lot of my friends who are married. Then again, I'm from California, and we of the West Coast master race aren't saddled with a lot of the hilarious WASP bullshit you guys are, so that might account for the difference.

Ask your wife if she would have preferred that YOU had proposed to her instead, and report back, please.

PP here.

You must have extremely low standards for communication if you don't think we'd thoroughly discussed the topic. She was glad I didn't propose, she finds the concept of men proposing to be archaic and sexist. (She also didn't wear a white dress to our American wedding, opting for a dress in a color she describes as 'slut red'.)

Tldr: feminists are better than you at everything, including love and marriage.

[Anonymous]

This is hilarious. I met, and married, a great guy in my 30s. Dated other great guys. I wasn't interested in marriage before I was 30.

The part of this advice that I DO agree with, for women and men, is that if you want to get married and/or have kids, don't spend a lot of years with someone who doesn't. Move on, or you may not find what you want. It doesn't have much to do with your "most attractive" years, but more to do with not shutting yourself off from the possibility of finding what you want because you're otherwise committed.

I met my husband about two weeks after ending it with the last non-committer in my life. As for just desserts, about two weeks before my wedding, I got a letter from old guy asking me back and saying he was ready to get married and have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is hilarious. I met, and married, a great guy in my 30s. Dated other great guys. I wasn't interested in marriage before I was 30.

The part of this advice that I DO agree with, for women and men, is that if you want to get married and/or have kids, don't spend a lot of years with someone who doesn't. Move on, or you may not find what you want. It doesn't have much to do with your "most attractive" years, but more to do with not shutting yourself off from the possibility of finding what you want because you're otherwise committed.

I met my husband about two weeks after ending it with the last non-committer in my life. As for just desserts, about two weeks before my wedding, I got a letter from old guy asking me back and saying he was ready to get married and have kids.

How old were you when you married and how long did you date before marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a woman in her late twenties dating a guy who hasn't proposed what should you do? Dump him?

...you do realize you can propose to him, right?

My wife proposed to me. Same with a lot of my friends who are married. Then again, I'm from California, and we of the West Coast master race aren't saddled with a lot of the hilarious WASP bullshit you guys are, so that might account for the difference.

Ask your wife if she would have preferred that YOU had proposed to her instead, and report back, please.

PP here.

You must have extremely low standards for communication if you don't think we'd thoroughly discussed the topic. She was glad I didn't propose, she finds the concept of men proposing to be archaic and sexist. (She also didn't wear a white dress to our American wedding, opting for a dress in a color she describes as 'slut red'.)

Tldr: feminists are better than you at everything, including love and marriage.

You must have a very low tolerance for opinions other than yours if you feel compelled to respond with such vitriol. That's odd for someone who married a woman dressed in "slut red".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agreed!

I have a 36 year old girlfriend down in the dumps because her (same aged) boyfriend "isn't sure" about marriage and children. She spent her twenties and thirties partying and now she has nothing to show for it.

I know you will probably get flamed (hard) for this, but I agree with you wholeheartedly.

She probably also blew off several good guys. Just desserts?

Sour grapes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're a woman in her late twenties dating a guy who hasn't proposed what should you do? Dump him?

...you do realize you can propose to him, right?

My wife proposed to me. Same with a lot of my friends who are married. Then again, I'm from California, and we of the West Coast master race aren't saddled with a lot of the hilarious WASP bullshit you guys are, so that might account for the difference.

Ask your wife if she would have preferred that YOU had proposed to her instead, and report back, please.

PP here.

You must have extremely low standards for communication if you don't think we'd thoroughly discussed the topic. She was glad I didn't propose, she finds the concept of men proposing to be archaic and sexist. (She also didn't wear a white dress to our American wedding, opting for a dress in a color she describes as 'slut red'.)

Tldr: feminists are better than you at everything, including love and marriage.

Thanks for reminding me why even though I am a woman and believe in gender equality that I hate feminists!

[Anonymous]

I'm kind of an example of "what not to do" but there is a sort-of happy ending, so it's not cut and dry.

I met my husband in my late 20s, who when I first met, said he eventually wanted to get married and have kids. I dated him for 5 years. During that time I followed him to a different state and moved in with him, pressured him for commitment, he kept procrastinating, while my mom was freaking out trying to set me up with other guys. I then I finally proposed. I wanted kids after that, he stalled for a while, until finally he declared he was ready for kids. We had our first when I was 35, and our first passed away from cancer.

Fast forward 5 years later, we have 2 wonderful amazing healthy kids. However, I'm still hurt and feel resentful that he stalled for so long, on marriage and kids. Thankfully we didn't have fertility issues, but I think that if we did, I would have been way too angry to stay with him. He's a great dad, and I know he loves me, and I do love him and think he is a good person (just selfish at times), but there are times when I am ambivalent and wonder if I deserved better.

Maybe it wasn't the wisest decision for me to follow dh to another state and move in with him with no commitment for marriage. But then we probably would have broken up, and I wouldn't have these awesome kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
this is actually not that important (even if true). the key issue here is that, after one is 35, the quality of available men becomes absolutely terrible. it's not about women not looking that good or not being attractive, it's that men who are single at that point are, basically, garbage - either guys whom nobody wanted or guys who have one or another major somewhat hidden issue.

i am 42, married for a long time, and when i look around i think every single guy i ever had even a minor crush on is married with kids. there basically nobody left that i would have interest in if i had to look around. good stuff moves fast.

LOL, does Amal Amaluddin know that?

She's certainly smart enough to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
this is actually not that important (even if true). the key issue here is that, after one is 35, the quality of available men becomes absolutely terrible. it's not about women not looking that good or not being attractive, it's that men who are single at that point are, basically, garbage - either guys whom nobody wanted or guys who have one or another major somewhat hidden issue.

i am 42, married for a long time, and when i look around i think every single guy i ever had even a minor crush on is married with kids. there basically nobody left that i would have interest in if i had to look around. good stuff moves fast.

LOL, does Amal Amaluddin know that?

She's certainly smart enough to know.

Worked out for her - to not marry till late thirties, and to marry one of the "rejects" by age in your book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
this is actually not that important (even if true). the key issue here is that, after one is 35, the quality of available men becomes absolutely terrible. it's not about women not looking that good or not being attractive, it's that men who are single at that point are, basically, garbage - either guys whom nobody wanted or guys who have one or another major somewhat hidden issue.

i am 42, married for a long time, and when i look around i think every single guy i ever had even a minor crush on is married with kids. there basically nobody left that i would have interest in if i had to look around. good stuff moves fast.

LOL, does Amal Amaluddin know that?

She's certainly smart enough to know.

Worked out for her - to not marry till late thirties, and to marry one of the "rejects" by age in your book.

I'm not really getting the vibe that having children/big family was important to her. So she doesn't really fall into the category of woman that OP was trying to reach. Also gonna go out on a limb and say that landing George Clooney was pretty freakish in terms of likelihood.